Sarah Palin: Zexy Time!

Check out this hot (read: super-awkward) image of Sarah Palin doing whatever it is she's doing in this picture. Greasing up for a run while crumpling up the flag? I don't know. I used up all of my jokes in the comments section there so go check those out as well. It contains an Erotic Photo Hunt reference if that will entice you...

I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords

I'd like to remind them that, as a trusted blogger, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

From the BBC News:

A single mega-colony of ants has colonised much of the world, scientists have discovered.

Argentine ants living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan belong to the same interrelated colony, and will refuse to fight one another.

The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination.

Sarah Palin needs some thicker skin

Straight off her nonstop whining tour complaining about Letterman's joke she's now decided to take on some local bloggers who photoshopped a local conservative talk show host's face onto the face of a baby Palin is holding. The disturbing image can be seen here but you may want to ask any children to leave the room first.

I don't even know that guy but that's hilarious. Palin? Not so much.

Recently we learned of a malicious desecration of a photo of the Governor and baby Trig that has become an iconic representation of a mother's love for a special needs child.


The mere idea of someone doctoring the photo of a special needs baby is appalling. To learn that two Alaskans did it is absolutely sickening. Linda Kellen Biegel, the official Democrat Party blogger for Alaska, should be ashamed of herself and the Democratic National Committee should be ashamed for promoting this website and encouraging this atrocious behavior.

Babies and children are off limits. It is past time to restore decency in politics and real tolerance for all Americans. The Obama Administration sets the moral compass for its party. We ask that special needs children be loved, respected and accepted and that this type of degeneracy be condemned.

Malicious desecration? Atrocious behavior? Degeneracy? Give me a break. And what the hell does Obama have to do with this anyway?

They're not making fun of your kid and you know that but no one plays the victim better than the conservatives who love to decry the "culture of victimhood."

My mind continues to be blown

I'll admit that after getting their asses kicked by Costa Rica, sleepwalking past El Salvador, and getting rocked by Italy and Brazil I was pretty down on the US Men's National Team. I'm by no means a soccer expert but even I could tell that their tactics were ridiculous, that they were playing with no emotion (outside of scared, perhaps), and that guys were out of position. They were headed into what everyone assumed would be the last game in South Africa as part of the Confederations Cup and what many hoped would be Bob Bradley's last game. What a difference a few days makes.

Headed into the Egypt game they basically needed a 3-0 win combined with a 3-0 Brazil win over Italy. Pretty much impossible for a team that had, to that point, been outscored 6-1. Well, they got exactly what they needed and advanced to the semis against the #1 team in the world, Spain. Spain had just set the world-record for wins in a row (15) and were tied with Brazil for the longest unbeaten streak (35). They had crushed the three teams they played and had two of the most fearsome goal-scorers in the tournament. Well, we got lucky against Egypt but against a good team it will be more of the same.

Oh, how wrong I was. I was fortunate enough to get to keep an eye on the game thanks to a boss that likes soccer and ESPN360, one of the greatest inventions known to man. They came out playing with a purpose and right from the start you could tell they weren't going to back down. Jozy Altidore, one of the Americans' best young players, is under contract with Villareal, a Spanish team, except he never gets to play for them so it was extra amazing when he muscled his club teammate out of the way to put the first goal into the net.

Spain came back firing and the much-maligned back four played the best game they had in ages. They were everywhere inside heading out Spanish crosses or getting a toe on the ball to disrupt passes. Anything that they let Spain get by them Howard was right there to stop. Just an amazing performance when I thought they were way overmatched against Torres and Villa.

Clint Dempsey redeemed himself from some shaky play earlier in the tournament by putting in the insurance goal off of a really dumb decision to not clear that ball. Kind of a fortunate goal and I still don't know why the hell Donovan just won't shoot the fucking ball when he has it right there but, hey, it worked. So, probably one of the biggest wins in US history. I might rank the Mexico and Portugal wins in WC '02 a little higher as far is in my lifetime goes but there aren't many bigger than this one.

Next up they have the winner of Brazil-South Africa in the finals. Brazil whipped them once already but this team is flying high so it might be fun to get another crack at them. After that the B-team goes to South America for the Gold Cup then it's a huge qualifier in Mexico City, a place where the US has never won. Overall I like to see the team and sport get some buzz here as this was plastered over every sports website I saw. I really just like to see the team play like they should, with heart and an abandon that a team with no pressure should play like. After the Egypt win the team was pretty defensive about the (extremely minor compared to someplace like England or Brazil) criticism directed their way but if that's what it takes to get them to play like this I'm happy.

With all of my focus turned to this I'm kind of bummed I didn't get to pay much attention to, South Carolina's Republican governor, Mark Sanford's hilarious story. Earlier in the week someone there noticed, hey, where's the governor been? His aides, security detail, and wife were all like, uh, dunno. After a day, the aides said, uh, yeah, we talked to him, still not sure where he is. His wife, meanwhile, is dropping all kinds of comments about taking care of her kids and how he missed Father's Day. Then the aides changed the story into, he's hiking the Appalachian Trail (something I've always wanted to do but I guess I have a job that I can't just leave without telling somebody...). Then people are like, hey, here's his car at the Atlanta airport. Then his car mysteriously moves to a SC airport. Then he comes home today and, wouldn't you know it, he was down in Argentina having an affair.

Must have been a bad connection on the phone. Did he say "I'm hiking the Appalachian trail" or "I'm getting some Argentinian tail?" I'm just glad to see we have these "family values" Republicans like Mark Sanford and John Ensign and David Vitter and Larry Craig and, well, I could keep going but this is long enough. But I'm so glad we have these guys keeping the sanctity of marriage intact in the face of this merciless onslaught of teh gays. Heaven forbid we allow gay couples in committed relationships to obtain the benefits conferred with marriage. Why, something like that would devalue their own marriages which everyone knows is meant for a man and a woman and the man's Argentinian lover.

What makes this even more hilarious to me is that the Dobson/Falwell crowd begged Sanford to run for president because the selection they had to choose from was just so pitiful and they needed someone with real Christian values to carry their standard. Ha. Ha.

Unfortunately, the actions of scumbags like him affect his wife and children. In a refreshing change of pace she didn't have the tearful standing beside him press conference that so many of these wives choose to put themselves through and released this statement.

On a sidenote, in a hilariously predictable manner, Fox News identified this guy as a Democrat, something they've, uh, been known to do in the past anytime a Republican is facing some sort of scandal or horrible polling result. Yeah, but they're a legitimate news organization...

Things that kind of blew my mind today

Anybody been following the situation with the New York State Assembly? Basically, a little while back two Democrats facing corruption charges announced they were switching to Republicans which would then switch the Assembly to their control. The Democrats said "nuh uh" and locked the door to the chamber claiming that it wasn't legal if they didn't have the votes to do this. They eventually convinced one of these losers to switch back leaving everything deadlocked and both sides claiming that they are the presiding body and one of the rogue Democrats was now the Senate president. The Democrats haven't been into the chamber for 2 weeks until today. This is all really confusing stuff and I don't really follow most of it myself.

Today they took things to another level and acted like a bunch of children. A special session to try to help resolve all this and pass certain critical tax bills was scheduled for this afternoon and the Republicans were planning to enter the chamber an hour before this session so they could be in charge. However, while the Republicans were having a pizza party to plan this master stroke several Democrats snuck into the chamber through a back hallway and started their own session in the dark to avoid arousing suspicion.

So, at 2 P.M. the Repubs come in with their own presiding officer, Espada, and their own gavel and are sneaking reporters into the balcony to cover the whole thing. Of course things devolve into lots of shouting and banging of gavels and parliamentary maneuvers and rushing in and out of the chamber to alternately get on one side or the other of the quorum threshold.

Both sides gaveled out -- using their own gavels and own presiding officers -- as they waited for Paterson to send the bills. A Republican senator, though, said the "extraordinary session" has concluded and it will take another formal request of the governor to bring the Senate back to order. Both sides, however, talked of returning to the chamber later this evening. How, or if, what has become a constitutional crisis for the Senate, can be resolved is as uncertain as the June 8 GOP-led coup that created today's confrontation.

"You're out of order. Don't you call me out of order," Sen. Ruth Hassell-Thompson, a Democrat, snapped at Sen. George Winner, who the Republicans tapped to lead the floor fight as presiding officer. He did so from below the chamber's podium, which the Democrats had seized earlier in the afternoon. "I don't understand what their point was other than trying to establish that they were in charge," Winner, still clutching his small gavel, said as he worked his way down a packed hallway after the session.

Unbelievable. Pretty soon it will be like those clips they show on those shocking video programs where the Asian legislators are beating each other with shoes. What a mess.

This news is a little old but there's a really bizarre story about two Japanese men who were detained in Italy for attempting to carry $134 billion worth of U.S. bonds into Switzerland. No one knows what the hell these guys were doing with that much money. According to this they could have bought out the economies of Slovakia, Croatia, and Cambodia. Or just paid for three Beijing Olympics. The men were released and the US Treasury is already saying they think the bonds are fake. The conspiracy theorists out there wonder if Japan was trying to secretly dump the boatloads of US currency they own, possibly from "secret" debt issued by someone in the government. Hey, that would kind of suck.

Mentos

Ha, these cats are so high. (via Erin GG)

In "The Botany of Desire" Michael Pollan writes about how humans and plants benefit from the relationship they have with each other and how plants use and enhance certain characteristics to induce humans to propagate their species. One of the sections is about plants that get you high, specifically marijuana, but he also talks about his cat who would head out to the catnip at the same time every day just to get stoned to bejeezus. The whole book is great but that's pretty much one of the most fascinating chapters of any book I've ever read.

Also, good news if you're coming to Lawrence. They caught the robbers in my 'hood after they tried to knock off somebody else in South Park and, in the least surprising development ever, they were from Topeka. I wish the picture was a little clearer so I could see if they were, in fact, twins or if the LPD is racist and just uses a standard "black guy" sketch for everyone.

Crime alert!!!!

There's been a string of robberies in and around my neighborhood lately. Some of the commenters in the LJ World seem to think that it's a direct result of Barack Obama's "socialist policies" but I'm not quite convinced that's the reason, yet. I mean, I seem to remember crime in this city before Obama became president but maybe that's just liberal revisionist history on my part. Anyway, it kind of strikes me as odd that they keep robbing drunk college kids on their way home from the bar. Any self-respecting student isn't going to be going home with more than a couple bucks in their wallet, are they? Either way it's a shame that college kids can't stumble home drunk without worrying about being rolled.

Today the police released sketches of the criminals and, well, it's a little confusing. Isn't that pretty much the same picture except one guy has a hat on and the other doesn't? What good is that at all? Are these guys twins? Did the person describing them just say, "uh, they were black guys. Yeah, that looks like them." or what? Is that really the best they can do? What completely worthless drawings, LPD.

The article that lists the strings of robberies fails to mention my favorite when two guys went after somebody leaving Louise's West. They tell him to hand over his wallet and he says "I have nothing" and takes off running. I'm pretty sure that's what I'd do. I rarely carry much cash on me and I'll cancel my card as soon as you leave so basically you're just taking my Yello Sub punch card and making me get a new driver's license and library card. Is causing me all that inconvenience really worth it? I think it's better for both of us if I just run away.