Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Ding Dong Ding Dong

Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay indicted today on conspiracy charges. He now steps down as majority leader while the investigation continues and we can expect a trial during the 2006 congressional campaigns. And let me just say BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay - Indicted
Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist - Under investigation for insider stock trading
Presidential Advisior Karl Rove - Under investigation for shady dealings with "lobbyist"/shakedown artist Jack Abramoff

Republicans = Corrupt. Democrats need to beat that horse until there's nothing left during the '06 elections, take back congress, and start the impeachment hearings.

Wait, it just got better. A gay Republican will be taking over as majority leader while Tommy boy works on his legal issues. Fundies everywhere shriek in horror. The way things are going Bush better put Dr. Fucking Dobson up for the Supreme Court if he wants his poll numbers to stay about 30%.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Time to go the bread and butter plays

I'm going back to what I write about best (or the most, at least), George Bush and football.

A few notes on how my football weekend went.

It all started with the Friday ISU-Army game on the Deuce. If I would have known that this would have turned out to be the highlight of the weekend I might have spent some more time doing something worthwhile.

The Cyclones looked like they never got off the plane to play as a motivated Army team executed just about as well as they could. Despite sleepwalking through three quarters ISU is 3-0 and that's what matters.

Most of Saturday was spent doing boyfriend duty and even after Veronica left for work I didn't watch much football because there just weren't that many good games on the tube. I'm about ready for conference season to start so I don't have to see these boring-ass games. Give me some Iowa State-Nebraska action.

The weekend moved on to NFL Sunday which means I'm following the Fightin' Whizzenators and they attempt to regain some of the week 1 momenetum following last week's anemic tying performance. I was going up against at team that featured second-string running back Tatum Bell and a wide receiver that is catching passes from groupies on his bye week so I'm feeling pretty good. Jake Delhomme, my QB, finally broke out of his slump by throwing three touchdown passes. Unfortunately, they were all to Steve Smith, who was starting for my adversary. My team ended up putting up decent numbers (fourth best in the league this week) but I still lost by 20 points because this guy had LaDanian Tomlinson running and throwing touchdowns and Jake Plummer abusing the Chiefs all game.

Speaking of the Chiefs, my weekend continued into Monday and got even worse. KC decided to go with their defensive gameplan they've used the last few years. This consists of d-linemen opening up huge holes, linebackers running the wrong spots, d-backs giving their men 15 yard cushions, and all of them jogging half-heartedly after whomever is running for a touchdown. For fuck's sake, guys. You've looked anywhere from servicable to good the last few weeks and then you head to Mile High and look like a junior high team? Cripes!

Is there seriously no plan to try to stop Jake Plummer rolling out and either running or passing? He's killed us, KILLED US, with that ever since he got to Denver and we still have nothing planned except let the fatass defensive linemen run after him. It's just unconscionable to me that they couldn't have gameplanned for that a little more. I'm so sick of going to Denver and playing the worst game of the year so thousands of Donko fans can yell their stupid shit and I can think about Elway and the Mile High Salute and admitted drug-user Romanowski and Shannon Sharpe and all the cheap shots they've gotten away with and everything else I hate about Denver. Man, I hate those guys.

But, there's always next week. Right? No, the season is ruined. Fire Carl Peterson.

In political news the National Enquirer has reported that Bush is drinking again. Sure, probably not the most reliable source but it really wouldn't surprise me. Something is seriously up with him. He's so rarely in public anymore and when he is he looks like crap. Supposedly he was even worse than usual at his press conference but everyone was too embarrassed to say anything. Personally, I think that there is a lot of shit going down, some of it he created, some of it he didn't, most of it made worse by his actions and he is not capable of dealing with it all. He's been overwhelmed by the job from day one and has tried to let his handlers do everything but it's gotten so bad that the criticism is even going through his bubble. Aides have talked about how much he hates bad news and how the one chosen to tell him that he had to cancel his vacation to go to Louisiana stood outside his office dry-heaving in fear (printed in Newsweek). The most frightening thing: three more years. I'd seriously put even money that he doesn't finish his term.

Here's a scathing piece full of shadenfreude and analysis of this rapidly failing presidency. It's long but it really does have some good analysis and makes you almost scared shitless but hopeful at the same time.

This post is getting too long. Wish me luck in my job interview tomorrow. I'll either knock their socks off or they'll yell "fraud!" at me and chase me out the door. I'm hoping for the former.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

George Bush doesn't care about the Japanese Mafia

A Pocatello, Idaho weatherman, University of Kansas alum, and former Topeka weatherman recently quit his job to devote all his time to researching the theory that the Japanese Mafia was responsible for creating and directing Hurricane Katrina using a Soviet-made weather controlling device. Basically, the device uses a "little-known oversight in physical laws" involving electromagnetics to create and control weather patterns. He first became aware of the theory in 1998 but didn't become convinced until he observed an unusual cold front over Montana.

"I just got sick to my stomach because these clouds were unnatural and that meant they had (the machine) on all the time," Stevens said. "I was left trying to forecast the intent of some organization rather than the weather of this planet."

Seriously, I hate that. Here I am trying to predict the weather but instead I have to guess what the Yakuza wants to do to control the markets. Stevens says that he believes a large earthquake will strike another US city soon.

Although this guy seems like he's pretty batshit crazy I do really admire his belief in the theory. I mean, he got all this attention from it so he quit his job to go on radio shows and do everything else because he believes in it. Way to go, Scott. Find those mafia bastards and bring them down!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

ADHD

Today's featured spammer is a website for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Or somethign like that.

My favorite part is the quote at the top. "Stop The Madness of ADHD Let Us Join Forces and Educate...Not Assasinate"

Assasinations are a huge problem in the ADHD community and only further education will solve this growing issue. But when you start reading this is really great stuff. Apparently, Dr. Hoe Bing (the world's first Integrated Brain Technologist) has come up with a way to take advantage of ADHD to train you to become some sort of super brain with "Hyper Focus" and the ability to persuade other people so that "they actually wish they had ADHD". Of course it's not important at all HOW this actually works, just that it does.

"I've learned which approaches work, which approaches fail, and -- here's the beauty about my Amazing Brain Persuasion Secret, you DON'T have to understand why it works! All you need to do is use it and reap the results!
Does that seem strange? Or perhaps too good to be true?
Well, yes and no.
If you are an engineer with a logical brain then you would want to know how everything works. But let me ask you a question, you live in a building that has electricity correct? It probably has a hot water system, a television, a bathroom and most importantly the computer that you are reading this letter on.
Now, do you know in detail why the floor under you is holding your weight and not slipping, cracking or caving in? Or why the building you are in stays upright? Do you even know how your computer works, which parts do what specific task and why?
Even if you are a geek with absolutely no life, knowing absolutely how everything works in minute detail is beyond most people and it is UNIMPORTANT not to mention counter productive. You need to do what you do best leave the rest up to the specialists.
I have to warn you up front that The Amazing Brain Persuasion Secret is not for everyone. This brain technology is so powerful, so effective at manipulating your sub-conscious, that they'll give you an unfair advantage in life that people will start wishing they had ADHD. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if the mainstream authorities actually ban my technology in the near future. "

See, only geeks with no lives would want to know how this works and that's just completely unproductive for them. This guy is so legit. His program promises to use "Pseudo-logic" to justify your actions for "logical reasons and to get your brain to say "Yes, Master" and obey your hidden suggestions with little resistance. That's exactly what I've always wanted! The ability to do stuff without my brain telling me not to!

All this and for only $150/hour and upwards of $3000 total. But, don't worry. Dr. Hoe has a titanium-clad guarantee that allows you to get a full refund if you investement isn't paid back tenfold within a year! What a steal!

Silly Hawk fans

Iowa fans are in full meltdown mode after getting their asses kicked again, this time by Ohio State. Apparently it really never did dawn on them that they were way overrated at #8 and that the ISU game wasn't a fluke. Of course, it still hasn't dawned on some of them. I ran across this fabulous message board post:

"Have the Hawks ever played well and lost? I'm not just talking about OSU stomping us today. I can't think of a game where Iowa was playing well and just got beat by a better team. ASU fiasco, Mich. 5 turnovers, ISU this year with 5 turnovers, numerous penalties in Orange Bowl loss, '02 game with ISU, etc. When we're bad we are VERY,VERY, bad! Not average bad."

This guy can't think of a single example where Iowa played well and got beat by a better team. Hilarious. Even in the Orange Bowl when USC beat them by about 40 points Iowa's problem was penalties. Even this year when ISU never let them inside the 25 yardline and never gave up a drive of longer than 40 yards it was still their fault they lost. They can never see anything outside of their eastern Iowa echo chamber where they really do believe all the hype.

Anyway...

As far as ISU goes they looked like they never got off the plane or no one told them that the game was at 8 Eastern not Central time. It was a pretty pathetic display but they held on for the win which is all that matters. It's looking like a roller coaster season. Everyone's pumped for this team then they barely beat Illinois State. Oh no, Iowa's going to destroy us! Kick Iowa's ass and we're going to blow out the Huskers and are checking on hotels for a BCS game. Army pushes ISU all over the field and suddenly we're not too sure about playing in Lincoln. The truth is obviously somewhere in the middle there and if ISU can keep calm in the face of the sea of red they should have a good shot.

I don't see Nebraska's offense moving the ball at all on ISU's defense so the offense needs to not turn the ball over and put some points on the board. If they can put 17 points up and not turn the ball over or make special teams mistake I think they'll be good to go with the win. Of course there have been many times where we thought ISU had a chance to win in Lincoln and it was 14-0 before we even knew what happened.

And now for something funny.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

From the government that won the War on Drugs and the War on Terror we present...

The War on Porn.

That's right, after defeating terrorists in Iraq so we won't have to fight them here, Attorny General Alberto Gonzalez is beefing up an anti-porn task force in the FBI. That's right, in the age of terrorism we are going to be devoting tens of FBI agents to researching obscenity cases in regular consenting-adult pornography cases. This is unbelievable to me. There are other agencies researching cases that are infinitely more important and have the potential to cost lives but we're more worried about what people are whacking off to in their bedroom.

How long until we have color-codes for porn? "A man was spotted buying vaseline and kleenexes. We're upgrading the porn level to red. Repeat, code red. Masturbation imminent."

Not everyone is happy about this though. Here is what one agent said:

""I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."

A few of the printable samples:
"Things I Don't Want On My Resume, Volume Four."
"I already gave at home."
"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves.""

Stuff like this just makes me want to beat my head against a wall. Republicans, for a party of "small government" you sure do get involved in people's private lives a lot.

Fast Forward 10 years or so

Here is a quote from Charlie Sheen on how watching sports helped end his marraige to Denise Richards: "I had an epiphany later on what the sports highlight is for. The sports highlight is for parents, people that should be spending more time doing more important things. But it just bothered me when, I mean ... who bathes in the ninth inning? Who bathes in the fourth quarter?"

I'm scared that's going to be me in ten years or so. I can totally see it.

"What? The baby needs changing now? But the game's in overtime! What do you mean I have to change him now? Ugh." That's totally going to suck.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Avast ye timbers, mateys!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

The Spammer Speaks

Since the Basement is being overrun with spammers I thought I'd unveil a new feature that can use their annoying nature to my advantage. My plan is to visit some of the sites and find something worth worth pointing out or mocking. At least one positive is that they always compliment me on my blog. It's nice to know that even though they are busy spamming other blogs they still take the time to read and recognize the quality commentary I bring to you on a semi-daily basis.

On to the show! One of the most recent contributions is a website devoted to Triglycerides, a fat stored in the body according to the site. What I liked most about it was the wisdom imparted.

“Like everything in nature it only becomes a problem when there is an imbalance.”

The best part about it is that the quote was in bold font and quotations even though nothing else was. I think they're paraphrasing Yoda. "Balance with fat be there must."

There's also a smokin' hot nurse in the upper right hand corner. I think I saw her in a movie once. Dirty Nurses 8 or 9, not sure which one.

Classic

Michigan State just planted the Spartan flag on the 50 yardline at Notre Dame Stadium. Well, tough to argue with that after 5 straight wins there.

"You're a catastrophe that walks like a man"

"...You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. On your watch we've lost almost all of our allies, the budget surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the city of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. Yes, God does speak to you. And he's saying: "Take a hint.""
Bill Maher



There's a ton of stuff out there about the gang of incompetants that were running the show after the hurricane. Brown is out at FEMA, Chertoff, director of Homeland Security is getting blasted for waiting 36 hours to even declare the hurricane "an issue of national significance" and claims he had no idea the levees had broken. Of course, this is the same guy that said he READ IN A NEWSPAPER that New Orleans had dodged a bullet. Great, the guy in charge of all of this was getting briefed by a newspaper. Don't you feel safe from terrorists now. "Hey, did you read in the paper this morning about that dirty nuclear bomb they set off in Chicago? I should probably do something about that, huh?"

In the latest Newsweek George Will wrote a fairly decent column about how huge disasters affect the way that people view religion and government. He ties the idea that the public will gravitate toward anything that will give them security to the people in Iraq, etc. It's kind of hard to give a short summary of the piece because he was really all over the place but at the end he actually admits that the hurricane was a liberal moment because it "illustrates the indispensability, and dignity, of the public sector". But then he also claims that it's a conservative moment because it "dramatized the prudence of pessimism, and the fact that the first business of government, on which everything depends, is security."

First, I believe his premise is wrong that only conservatives can provide security. Giving the military a blank check does not make our nation more secure. This is exponentially true if you are going to spoil relations with our allies and alienate large percentages of the world with your actions. Secondly, isn't the current goverment in charge a conservative one? Where was the security? Why were a hundred thousand people left to fend for themselves in a flooded city without assistance? Why were they forced to endure roving gangs and scenes from Mad Max if conservatives provide such great security?

This goverment has completely failed to protect its citizens before, during, and especially after Hurricane Katrina. I really think that the main reason that Bush was reelected is because so many people felt that he was the guy that could protect them from terrorists. Anybody feeling safe now?

In a somewhat lighter moment Bush was photographed during a United Nations Security Council meeting writing a note to Condoleeza Rice.

Sidebar: Every time I hear Condoleeza Rice I think of Dave Chappelle calling her Cunnilingus Rice during the "White Supremacist" sketch. "Cunnilingus Rice? Sounds like a Mexican dish. Maybe we should send her down to Mexico and let the Mexicans eat her. White power!"

So, this note that Bush is writing says "I think I may need a bathroom break? Is this possible. W"

First of all, nice freaking puncuation. You may need a bathroom break? Are you sure? Well, better ask Condi for permission. Besides the head pounding puncuation it's actually kind of funny that he would get caught writing that on a note.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Awesome video

I ran across this video. I have no idea what it's from but it has Andy Dick as Bush's speechwriter mixed in with clips of Bush speaking. Freaking hilarious.

"I hope years from now, people will look back on President Bush and think: "I have no friggin idea what that guy was talkin' about! But he talked exactly what I wanted to hear."

Iowa State 23 Iowa 3



The Cyclones managed to reclaim the Cy-Hawk trophy in dominating fashion (It's still one of the ugliest trophies ever but it almost has some charm to it because of that fact). Many Hawk fans trotted out the usual excuses but they were mostly half-hearted because despite Tate's injury and the similar yardage totals it was clear which team was pushing the other one all over the field. The score was 9-0 with Tate in the game and he wasn't exactly looking like the player that earned first-team all-Big 10+1 honors last year. After he threw that bad pick he decides he's going to be the hero and illegally tried to tackle the returner by leading with his helmet. Whoops, take a couple of Advil and you're out for the game.


Congratulations, you're now the first vegetable to have earned all-conference honors! Watch that drool! (of course I'm making these jokes because he is going to be ok. And I'm an asshole.)

The defense looked dominating again and never let Iowa inside the 25 yardline for the entire game and still showed why they are such a great team at forcing turnovers and even getting touchdowns on the returns. (Notice the Iowa player flat on his back and the Iowa fan in the lower right. Bwahaha!)





The Offense did what they had to do with the wind at their backs and even put some points up with it in their face.



I listened to some classic sports radio on my way back from the Twin Cities today so I'll share a little of that. Deace in your Face decided to play Soundoff, the Hawkeye postgame radio call-in show and provide commentary on the meltdown that always occurs after a Cyclone win in this series. Some of the highlights included one caller claiming Iowa would have scored 28 points in the second half with Tate (based on what? The lack of offense they had when he was in the game?), another guy saying that Tate's play before he got hurt was why they lost the game because he had those turnovers (guess those two needed to get their stories straight). Is it ever surprising that as soon as things go bad in Squawkeye land they immediately throw their QB under the bus? This was the guy that led them to a #8 ranking last year and the guy they kept insisting was a Heisman candidate this year but suddenly he sucks? Get in line with Banks, and McCann, and just about every other Iowa QB that has been booed or ripped the last 5 or 6 plus years.

Anyway, the game turned out like a lot of Cyclone fans thought it would. Despite the rankings and hype around Iowa most ISU fans felt that ISU had more talent and the better team. I think they definitely showed it on Saturday.




Jason Berryman, Manimal.



Some of the priceless moments during my viewing of the game included Paul, Aaron, and me talking a LOT of smack to the Iowa fans in front of us that kept making cocky comments before the game about how many points Iowa was going to score, etc. They were with one other ISU fan and he was loving it. We watched the game at Senser's which is really one of the best sports bars I've been too. The place is massive and the whole thing is huge projection TVs on all the walls so there were probably 10-15 of those with a bunch of different games going and we also got a little radio type thing to put on our table and listen to the announcers. Plus the beer wasn't too expensive.


One more time.


The Red Sea.

Well, I'm sure that anyone that has dialup will manage to download this page sometime just before next year's game. I'll have another post soon with some other stuff about my trip up north and maybe I'll even rip into Bush a little bit more.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Stop the spread of Herkies

Hey, I don't have much time to write as much as I want to but I'm headed up to Minneapolis early Saturday morning to hang out, watch the game, look for apartments/jobs. I know, it's weird as hell to not be in Ames or Iowa City for "The Big Game" as all the media have taken to calling it but, rest assured, I'll be dropping as many of my signature "Hawkeye Pig Fuckers" as I can.

As far as the game goes:
Worst case scenario: ISU can't get any running game going, Meyer throws a few picks, Tate burns ISU deep for a couple of TD's and it's an ugly game by halftime.

Best case scenario: ISU controls both lines of scrimmage and limits the big plays. Holds Iowa to less than 15 points and wins by 2+ touchdowns.

Most likely scenario: A close, low-scoring game that is decided by a few plays. Hopefully the ISU secondary can step it up because they must, must, must keep Iowa's receivers in front of them for most of the game to have a shot. The offense needs to be able to run the ball some as well. Hopefully Scales can come back and add some speed to the backfield. Hicks needs to run like he did in the KSU game last year and finish off his runs, plaster those all-american linebackers into the dirt.

It's time to get another win in this series and put ISU on the national map this season. The health of the nation demands that we expose Herkies for the festering disease it is.

I'll probably see you here after the game with some new insights. Oh, one more interesting political note. Mike Brown, the beleagured FEMA director apparently had some falsehoods on his resume and never even actually graduated from an accredited law school. But, hey, that doesn't matter as long as he campaigned long and hard for Bush. Is it too late for the Medal of Honor for this guy?

I leave you with a couple of lines from three of the songs that are near and dear to all of us in the Cyclone community.

Ringing in the hearts of all who bring thee love and loyalty....
DEAR ALMA MATER
Make thy spirit great
True and valiant like the
Bells of Iowa State!

It's time to climb upon the vic'try wagon
FIGHT IOWA STATE FIGHT FIGHT!

Don't know the words, don't know the words, don't know the words to this stupid fucking song!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Bar, the boys are out in the front yard. They'll help me think of a plan to get those Simpsons.

Cute little grandma Bush showed her true colors in a speech in Houston after meeting with some of the refugees there.


"And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were
underprivileged anyway, so this (she chuckled slightly)--this is working very
well for them."


Wow. Yeah, things are working so well for them that they get to leave their shitty apartments and all of their meager possessions in 20 feet of water so they can move to Houston and live in the Astrodome or some apartment that someone was willing to donate to them. That's working out great!

That pretty much sums up the conservative response to this. Of course, not to be outdone. George Bush Jr. is attempting to shore up his woefully pathetic response to the obvious crisis building by making false claims that he was not authorized to send troops and going so far as flying firefighters in, not to actually help, but to walk beside him in his photo op.



Kind of makes you wonder why this helicopter was not, I don't know, flying around and rescuing people???



Compassion indeed. The fact is that while this entire thing was going to hell Bush managed to get his "Let them eat cake" on Monday and "Fiddling while Rome burns" moment on Tuesday. Now he's busy trying to pass the buck to state and local officials who had nowhere near the resources to deal with this catastrophe.





He's gone so far as to tell his FEMA director what a great job he's doing. Now, look at this shocking list of FEMA turning down help from Amtrak and experienced firefighters, turning back Wal-Mart supply trucks, fuel from the Coast Guard, food from the Red Cross, and morticians. It doesn't stop there. There was a Navy ship with 600 beds and a capability to produce 100,000 gallons of drinkable water a day that was sitting in the harbor for days before FEMA allowed it to help. They told a group from Chicago that they only needed to send one truck. In fact, it culminates in a headline from the FEMA website that would almost have to be from The Onion. First Responders Urged Not To Respond I mean, it's almost like they were trying to be an incompetant as possible throughout this entire ordeal.

If that doesn't tell you how out of touch the President and this organization is than nothing will. Of course, the FEMA director was fired from his old job running a horse association into the ground but he's an old political supporter of W so why not give him a job running some seemingly unimportant government agency that they think shouldn't even be here? Oh, that's why. In fact, not only is Brown horribly unqualified but his next two guys in line had no previous emergency experience but did have experience running Bush's campaign. This political nepotism has potentially cost thousands of people their lives because our federal agency designed to manage exactly these types of situations was so woefully unprepared and negligent. It makes my blood boil to think about these assholes.

Wow, I didn't mean to go all Kanye on you in this rambling rant but George Bush doesn't care about black people. Well, maybe that's not entirely true but it really doesn't seem like he cares about anyone but himself and his rich buddies.

There's a reason we live in Lawrence

I saw that slogan on a t-shirt this weekend when I was down in the last liberal holdout in Kansas, Lawrence. Basically this is where you go to hide if you don't want people to look at you like you decided to stop breathing air if it comes out that you voted for John Kerry or don't think that the main platform position of the Democrats is to kill all the babies.

I was visiting my sister Rachel who is working there as a social worker and hanging out with several other of her liberal refugee friends from Bethel College. It was really the first time I'd spent any significant time in Lawrence that wasn't a sporting event or a campus visit in high school and I was really impressed. If it wasn't for the obsession with the Jayhawks it just might be a decent place to live. The downtown area had a great vibe to it. It was sort of like the Ped Mall in Iowa City only without thousands of wasted college kids from the Chicago suburbs puking everywhere. There were quite a few bars around but many more businesses and restaurants which gave it a little more of a welcoming feeling to those that weren't slamming rum and cokes like they needed them to live.

But, I however, was in a drinking mood so that's what we did after we sent mom to bed. The first night we went to see a local band at the Granada which is a medium sized music venue that I would guess could hold 1000 people or so. Looking at their posters for upcoming shows made me realize the relatively sad state of affairs in the Ames music scene. In September it is featuring Minus the Bear, the Decemberists, and Mates of State which are all fairly significant Indie acts. Alkaline Trio, Iron and Wine, and Crystal Method have all been there recently. In addition to these there is a local/regional show just about every day. I really think that if Ames could build a venue that is between the M-Shop and Stephens in size they oculd get a lot of these acts in and improve the scene a lot.

Instead they take the old Ames Theater and turn it into office space for Kingland like that's really what Campustown needed. What really pisses me off about that is that people were interested in buying that property but it was going to take $10,000 to get the plumbing up to city code. If the city was serious about reaching out to students helping these people find a way to get that money would have something they could have looked into but they're way too shortsighted for that and would rather debate new keg ordinances and other ways to try to legislate drinking away, something that an all-ages venue would probably help more than anything else.

But, I digress. I still have to rave about the Bottleneck which is another music venue featuring Built to Spill and Sleater-Kinney coming up. It has room for 500 people there or so and we were there on a Sunday night when they have a trivia contest and karaoke. We were too busy pre-partying to go for the trivia shit but the karaoke was actually really good which was kind of a mixed blessing since bad karaoke is some of the more enjoyable. But, there was some of that and some bad taste karaoke in Led Zeppelin's "When the Levee Breaks." I think the best part of this place was the $1.50 draws including the totally amazing Stella Artois beer. It's from Belgium and just pretty much freaking amazing. I'll put it in terms that many of my friends will understand. If beer were an NFL defense Stella would be the '85 Bears and $1.50 draws would be like signing Mike Singletary for $1,000 and a Pinto.

I think if Lawrence had a lame side (once again, besides all the Jayhawk stuff) it would have to be the trend of revving up your souped-up pickup and trying to break your tires loose at every stop sign. I mean, you can put a ton of cool stuff in one place but there are always those things that remind you that you're still in Kansas. It was like those packs of guys on crotch rockets going up and down Welch Ave all night but instead they're in groups of two riding in a giant pickup designed to be as loud and obnoxious as possible.

But, anyway, those are just a few thoughts I had on my weekend. Overall, a pretty cool place. I might be back later this evening with some thoughts on the relief efforts, Barbara Bush showing her compassionate side (sarcasm), and the Cyclones and Hawks this weekend.

I leave you with the quote of the month:
Shellshocked Mike Myers: Blah blah blah call this number.
Kanye West: (pause) George Bush doesn't care about black people.
Cut to a stunned Chris Tucker: Uhh....