Thursday, March 20, 2008

My descent into Madness, part 1

Ah, it's March Madness again, or Ben's two favorite days of the year as I call them. It's been a longer wait than usual so I'm glad it's finally here. In fact, it seems the calendar in general is all screwed up this year. How can you have St. Patrick's Day several days BEFORE the tourney and Easter during the first weekend? The actual final is April 7??? I blame global warming.

To celebrate this monumental event I decided to try something of a live blog of the event. We'll see how well it goes or if I'm turned into a basketball watching zombie by 2 this afternoon.

10:18 AM.
I've already changed my bracket at least three times this morning. This is a more difficult task than you might think because I'm in 5 groups on 4 different sites. First, is my Yahoo bracket in the Coach J > Coach K group. Then there's the Ames bracket dedicated not to my former place of residence but the Ames side of my family. After that is the Bethelpeeps pool including the Lawrence folk. It's probably in the running for the highest concentration of Mennonites in a gambling pool. "Ooh, the Amish are so industrious. Nothing like those shiftless Mennonites" as Marge Simpson would say. Unfortunately I ended up joining these two groups under two different usernames meaning anytime I want to check the standings I have to log out and log in. Very convenient.

Speaking of convenient...those two groups are both through CBS Sportsline and I'm also in a CBS Sportsline bracket on Facebook but of course you can't actually change the bracket at the same time. Although CBS helpfully announces the to world that I've changed my bracket whenever I do in case people give a shit, I guess? My Facebook group is "I wish my mom was Olga Kaun" which includes this awesome picture of Sasha and his mom.

And finally I'm using ANOTHER Facebook application for Jesse's group that I'm assuming won't matter because I haven't been changing it. So, all of this means that in a few hours I'm going to be so pissed that I changed all of those games because youi know they were right the first time. I have absolutely no faith in all at my bracket and can guarantee that I'm going to be cursing myself later. I just can't seem to find any "surefire" upsets like I have in the past so I'm just kind of guessing on a few which never works out well. So...three paragraphs on my bracket and I haven't told you a single pick? You can tell I'm killing time until 11.

10:45 AM
I'm not sure I'm completely sold on Drew Carey as Price is Right host. It's impossible for anyone to step into Bob's shoes without some problems but he's always trying to joke around and the audience is clueless. It's like watching him flop for an hour every day. 3 people just tied for 95 cents. Never seen that before. The madness continues... The woman in the UCLA sweatshirt just fell on her ass. A precursor for the tournament? I hope not since I have them in the Finals.

11:15 AM
Start the games, plz.

11:21 AM
Xavier is looking good so far. I have them beating Duke eventually. Despite the events of last week there was a reason Georgia sucked all year, right? Well, as I type that Xavier blows a layup, a guy gets poked in the eye, and Georgia drives in for an easy layup. And we're headed to Omaha...let's go Jayhawks, I need you to come through for me this year.

11:25 AM
Sounds loud. Should be a fun atmosphere with KU and K-State at the same venue. Will they cheer for the other? In most years it's a little less hateful than ISU-Iowa but this year was pretty intense. The KU-K-State game in Lawrence was one of the loudest I've ever been to.

11:28 AM
Portland State struggling to dribble. This should be ugly. And as I type that they drill a three. I'm the king of jinx today.

11:46 AM
I just realized Portland State's coach is named Ken Bone. Heh. I think I saw a few movies he made in the 70's.

11:49 AM
Georgia is now ahead by 6. Goddammit. KU seems to be shooting a lot of threes but they're making them so I can't complain I guess. PSU's 5'6" guard just sliced through a double team. Quick dude. Not a quick dude is #44. Glaciers make quicker moves to the basket.

11:58 AM
Ken Bone is going to have to think long and hard at halftime about how he can penetrate this KU defense. Their only hope is to keep pounding and hope for the money shot at the end. Porn.

12:01 PM
When were the Vikings ever in Portland? Of course when did anyone in Salt Lake listen to Jazz music?

12:06 PM
Dan Bonner in an exasperated voice after another KU three: "Good heavens!"
Temple is imploding against MSU and UGA is pulling away. Like I said before, I hate my bracket.

12:09 PM
The CBS scoreboard is now telling me there are 19 minutes left in the first half of the Georgia-Xavier game and the score is 35-26. We might see some records fall in that one. At least Xavier has a shot to come back. Halftime of the KU game and they've already covered the 23 point spread.

12:18 PM
Temple's post man just stopped and switched his pivot foot trying to make a move to the basket. Hey, that's my move! Temple went on a little run since I started watching but they're still down 9 at half. I'd be more worried but I saw MSU play in KC and let a crappy Mizzou team back into the game late. Or at least I keep telling myself it will be ok.

12:23 PM
All three games at the half. First choke of the day for CBS. If you're going to work with Ken Bone you can't choke like that. Let's be professionals here.

12:24 PM
Clark Kellogg's first "fustrated" of the year. Clark, there's another "R" in there somewhere.

12:58 PM
Just like I predicted I spent all of that time changing MSU to Temple and then they get blown out. I hate my bracket. At least Xavier is on the comeback trail. Apparently Zach Morris plays for Portland State, by the way.

1:04 PM
Major props to CBS for giving me live look-ins to the Xavier game during what would be commercials. I'm sure Applebee's hates it that they can't show the idiots singing the Gilligan's Island song a billion times this month but I like it...and Xavier takes the lead on consecutive threes!

1:07 PM
Mark Mangino in the house. When Mangino sits around the court he literally sits AROUND the court. Haven't thought of that joke since grade school and I'm not really sure it works because no one really says "sits around the court." Interestingly enough Mangino's wife apparently dumped an entire bottle of orange tanner over her head. She was also really interested in showing him whatever was on her cell phone.

1:11 PM
Seriously, his wife looks like she painted herself with wood stain. Mangino looks extra pasty next to her.

1:16 PM
This is the Xavier I picked to beat Duke.

1:21 PM
KU wins and covers the spread but a scary moment for the gamblers when KU failed to run out the clock and PSU had a three rim out. Better luck next year, Ken Bone and the Vikings.

1:40 PM
Xavier wins! My bracket lives!

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Blogger erin said...

i like your play-by-play, mainly because it took 15 minutes out of my work day. i also like this picture of mark mangino

more blog please, less work.

3:04 PM  
Blogger erin said...

ooops. you can't see the whole link, but the photo is of mark picking his nose.

3:05 PM  

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