Friday, March 21, 2008

My descent into Madness, part 6

2:33 PM
I'm back! I can hardly believe I'm still typing. I'm basically doing this by feel since my contacts have fused to my eyes after staring at a screen for several more hours at a time. It took all of about 5 minutes for CBS to switch us from the Texas vs. Austin Peay game, which is now 20-5, to Georgetown-UMBC, a much better 21-17. I like pronouncing UMBC as one word. Oohmmbk.

I admit it, I'm a fan of the DirectTV commercial girl but I really hate those CapitalOne commercials with the Frankenstein and Star Wars knockoffs. What are you trying to do here, creep me out? This is really awkward staring at that guy's rubber codpiece suit.

I may have just heard of UMBC a few days ago but they have really cute cheerleaders. Butler is leading South Bama by 3. Really tight game but I need to use this time to grab some beer from the store.

3:06 PM
New Belgium and PBR on sale so I got both. The line was way too long. 1st guy in line buying three smallish bottles of Smirnoff and his credit card wouldn't work. Next woman was buying wine and had to talk wine for a while. Then they were arguing about whether this guy should call the other store to see if they had the Spnaish wine she wanted. Fortunately she realized the rest of us would have been pissed if the guy had actually gone through with his offer. Next woman had 5 bottles of wines and various liquors. The guy in front of me had lived a hard life and was buying 2 tall boys of Beast. When ya gotta get a buzz cheap, I guess... I like that store because it's close and has a good selection but the employees always act like they're doing me a major favor just by ringing me up. Hey, asshole, it wouldn't kill you to act like you weren't totally put out by my mere presence in your store. The manager is super friendly but he is oblivious to everything that goes on around him.

So, what's going on with basketball? Seems that San Diego is leading UConn. Hmm, Western Kentucky and San Diego 2nd round?

Georgetown was pulling away, Butler is pulling away, Texas is still cruising. Looks like I'm going to have to count on this UConn game but it seems they're going to show something else.

I've cracked open my first Fat Tire. If you thought this blog was inane and poorly written before, well, you're in for a treat.

3:41 PM
A Fat Tire certainly helps when you're watching Texas sleepwalk to a 24 point lead. Some cop behind Texas' bench thinks something is really funny but he keeps trying not to laugh.

Sometimes Rick Barnes looks like the living undead with those circles under his eyes. All hail Zombie Coach. Braaains. Brraaaains.

By the way, keep a look out for a guy named Mooney in this Texas game. He came in at the end of the KU-UT Big 12 Championship game. I think he's only a freshman but he looks exactly like Will Ferrell in a basketball uniform (without the fro). Seriously, he looks like he's 30, slightly overweight, balding. Before he came in he was talking to Barnes on the sideline and I was trying to figure out why they made their managers wear the warm up tops. Then Barnes tells him to go in and he looked at him like "uhh, seriously coach?" It was hilarious. We couldn't figure out why the hell he was in there. Then KU turned the ball over and he had to stay in on their key offensive possession. I was convinced it was some sort of tie-in with the movie Semi-Pro and he wasn't actually on their team.

4:12 PM
Hey, it seems that this San Diego (I believe it's German for whale's vagina) vs UConn game might be decent. Well, except that UConn is on a 9-0 run. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.

4:24 PM
What's the deal with that State Farm commercial? Specifically the girl that says she lost all her money in Vegas. What exactly will State Farm do for degenerate gamblers? Also, that was a pretty ridiculous three that USD guy hit a second ago. They are clutch...just hit another one That's possibly my favorite part of the tournament, when some team gets hot and knocks down every big shot.

4:37 PM
Announcer "This ain't Carmen San Diego!"
Wow, good one. Hey, where is she, by the way?

4:43 PM
Announcer says UConn can win it with a three when they can only tie it. They hit a two and he says they are tied when they are actually down one. Come on, that's pretty unforgivable as an announcer.

yovertime! USD had a layup but blew it.

Still a tight game. UConn is shooting to get within one. I really don't like Calhoun by the way. He just seems like an ass.

5:02 PM
Why does San Diego not put anybody under the basket to rebound on free throws? The guy is a 56% shooter and everyone else is back. Seems like you could put one or two guys down there and still be able to get back on D. UConn shooting 2 down by 1 with 9 seconds left.

5:07 PM
San Diego long jumper....GOOD! This is bad for my bracket but I'll make an exception for UConn. 1.2 seconds left....GAME OVER!

Looks like I'll have a "Phantom Game" since UConn and Drake both blew it.

Hope this evening is as good. I probably won't be blogging it so, enjoy...

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