Friday, April 11, 2008

Maybe losing cable isn't so bad

So, I may have been getting my cable TV in a way that may not exactly be what people call "legal." All was right with the world as my cheap ass wasn't paying full price for what I was getting but I still got to watch my programs. Like a lot of Americans I justified it in a lot of different ways: they charge too much anyway, I'm not really stealing anything, I have no morals, etc. Anyway, all of that came to an end today at the hands of the dreaded audit. It really sucks coming home on a Friday and finding nothing but static...and right before the season finale of Rock of Love II. Uhh, so I heard.

By the way, has anyone seen the commercial for that celebrity fat camp show? Specifically the one where Screech is crying and says something like, "I just came here to work out, man." As hilarious as that clip was I still couldn't bring myself to watch that even to find out why he would say something so ridiculous.

So, where am I going with all of this? Well, I read something today that brought up why I might not miss cable TV at all. After all, why would I feel bad for missing crack political analysis from Chris Matthews like this?
SHUSTER: Well, here's the other thing that we saw on the tape, Chris, is that, when Obama went in, he was offered coffee, and he said, "I'll have orange juice."

MATTHEWS: No.

SHUSTER: He did.

And it's just one of those sort of weird things. You know, when the owner of the diner says, "Here, have some coffee," you say, "Yes, thank you," and, "Oh, can I also please have some orange juice, in addition to this?" You don't just say, "No, I'll take orange juice," and then turn away and start shaking hands. That's what happens [unintelligible] --

MATTHEWS: You don't ask for a substitute on the menu.

SHUSTER: Exactly.

MATTHEWS: David, what a regular guy. You could do this.

One of those weird things like what? Where the server asks if you want coffee and you order something else? Umm, I'm pretty sure that's a fairly normal interaction.

"You don't ask for a substitute on the menu"? Do you even understand what that means? Chris, if you turn your menu over there are a wide variety of beverage choices and the restaurant really doesn't care one way or the other what you want to drink. It's not like coffee is the only thing served in this place.

And then they want him to take the coffee and the orange juice? How the hell is he supposed to shake hands with people if both of his are carrying cups? And then he doesn't want coffee so is he just supposed to set it down untouched when he's done? Can I ask more than four rhetorical questions in a row?

That has to be one of the most inane and strange things to complain about. Oh, you elitist Ivory Tower liberals and your latte, err, orange juices...

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