Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Embedded in the Culture War

Many feel that there is a war going on in the United States regarding our culture. On the one side are the Godless liberals trying to force you gay marry and on the other side is the Holier-than-thou conservatives trying to make sure you never hear an F bomb. From time to time I like to keep you updated on how this war is going.

McCain took a hard line against alcohol in a speech on Tuesday when he said, "I will veto every single beer."

Whoa! Every single beer? Can he do that? Fortunately I think we have a veto-proof majority but still... No word of if he thinks we can have just as much fun with a Pepsi.

Mary Grabar is attempting to rally the conservative troops against the liberals on college campus when she writes this:
An Obama presidency would signal the final salvo by the Left in the culture wars. Obama’s advance troops have already taken over our college campuses, have bound and gagged our conservative professors, have ravished our virgins, have pillaged our stores of wisdom, and have ensconced themselves in the thrones of power in deans’, presidents’ and department heads’ offices.

The victory cry is heard across the land in the cheers of Obama’s constituency on college campuses.

This has been going on under the very noses of the Republicans.

Hmm, perhaps I missed something but I've been a fairly outspoken Obama supporter on a college campus since the caucuses in Kansas and I don't remember any of the virgin ravishing parties. Anybody know anything about that? I feel like I may have missed out and had no idea we were running a Genghis Khan-style campaign.

The good news, I guess, is that if Obama wins we can apparently declare victory in the culture war. But, really, can you blame us? Here we are trying to indoctrinate the youth in the ways of communism, or some other bullshit like social justice or respect for others, from the moment they leave the protective shield of their parents and they're just so hot and virginal.

There's just so much in this column to link to as she really nailed us. Did you know we took over comparative literature departments just so you wouldn't love anymore?
As the mush-brained feminists and wild-eyed radicals have taken over English departments and comparative literature departments, they have eliminated or demolished the great works that promoted our values and inspired the passion necessary to propel a movement. The great works of literature that could inspire passion for the love of God, love of a spouse, and loyalty to one’s country, and foster the appreciation for the comedy and tragedy of human life, have been excised from the curriculum. In their place are ideological tracts, video games, television dramas, celebrities, and pornographic performance art. The love of God and a spouse that John Donne could evoke is now replaced by such things as an analysis of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s sex life.

Ha, begone with you, Dostoevsky, we've got video games and porn to watch. Fear not, fellow liberals, our plan seems to be working.
When the Randy Malamud’s, who have declared victory in the culture wars, run English departments, you can see why young people place “hope” in a candidate who promises to talk to terrorists—perhaps in the way Drs. Malamud and Doolittle talk to animals.

Yikes, these guys lost touch with reality long, long ago...

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Blogger erin said...

i have a feeling mary gay-bar is talking specifically about me and my american studies homeboys and homegirls...i can't even count on my fingers AND toes the number of virgins we ravished...not to mention the porn...oh god...the porn.

that beer-veto comment made me hate mccain even more than i did yesterday.

10:41 AM  

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