Monday, June 09, 2008

Ooh, those terrorists are so damn hip

From Faux News:

In a continuing effort to make their news broadcast as big of a sham as possible Faux News brought in a body language expert to explain what Barack Obama and George W. Bush were doing recently. Obama made news for giving a fist bump to his wife, Michelle, before his big speech and Bush chest bumped a graduate of the Air Force Academy. I'm not exactly sure why we need analysis of these things and the expert seemed to agree. I mean, any idiot on the street can see that it's just an expression but apparently Faux viewers need this explained to them. If you want to waste three minutes of your life on a completely inane segment watch the whole thing but the first part is why I', actually writing about this.

In the promo the woman calls the fist bump "a gesture everyone seems to interpret differently. A fit bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab?"

Terrorist fist jab? What the hell is a terrorist fist jab? Who interprets it like that? Are they seriously trying to insinuate that Barack Obama is giving the terrorists secret hand signals or something? I mean, what, exactly, is she trying to say there?

Of course, it might actually make sense. I see a lot of athletes do that so maybe we should boycott them like we did for Rachel Ray's scarf. These terrorists infiltrators are everywhere. It's almost as bad as the commies before McCarthy got them sorted out.

Anyway, a Google search for "terrorist fist jab" turned up 3,080 hits and every one of them that I saw was trying to figure out what a "terrorist fist jab" is. I mean, they're just pulling this shit out of thin air to confuse the 10% of people that are actually clueless enough to never have seen that before. No Democrat should ever, ever go on Faux News because why pretend like they have any credibility at all when it is obvious they have NONE!

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Blogger Shawn said...

You don't know, you better aks somebody..

8:19 AM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Although My Life In The Basement beat the NYTimes to the story, they nevertheless followed suit. It was very satisfying to hear them call out the "fist-bump-related media dorkathon" for what it is.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

The New York Times has been stealing my ideas for years. Although that is a great characterization of it. Seriously, what's there to decipher?

5:24 PM  

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