Thursday, July 17, 2008

The shatter of the bat

So, people have been requesting more blog posts for some reason. I had no idea the level of boredom that exists among the faithful ten or so readers of this blog but apparently the only thing more boring than actually working is not having a job. I'm guessing a baseball post is not what most people had in mind but pleasing myself is the primary objective here in the Basement (as it probably is in most basements).

The dangers of foul balls and maple bats at baseball games have been in the news lately and here is a somewhat amusing slideshow of stuff flying into the stands. The first one is definitely my favorite just because of the hilarious reactions of everyone. Oh, Twins fans... Of course, if I was facing the possibility of having a maple bat impale my heart I'd probably freak out a bit too. Especially, if I were a vampire.

A couple of weeks ago I was at a KC T-Bones game when former Royals All-Star (really) Ken Harvey came to bat. He was really swinging for the fences since that's pretty much all that fatty can do anymore and his bat slipped out of his hands and into the crowd. The usher checked on the person and they were ok and going to keep the bat until the batboy ran up to get it. The usher had to go back up and get the bat as everyone started booing. By that point Harvey was stepping back into the box and he looks up and waves the bat back up to the woman. Everyone cheers and the next pitch he jacks for a homerun. The stuff legends are made of...

Ken Harvey was probably one of the worst all-stars of the last decade. He actually started off the year really hot but went cold about a month before the game. That was a pretty brutal Royals team so they stuck him on there and he pretty much sucked the rest of the year. I read that the last Royal to get a hit in the All-Star game was Bo Freaking Jackson. Yikes, not even starter Jermaine Dye or Mike Sweeney pre-injury could get a hit? They've had some pretty questionable all-stars but this year's Joakim Soria is legit. 1.47 ERA, 25 saves on a horrible team, 46 Ks, 9 BBs. Plus he has a ridiculous curve. If you stayed up late you may have seen it buckle Dan Uggla's knees. Of course, you might also remember Uggla's record breaking three errors or grounding into a double play in extra innings. Great game. They kept talking about how it was his dad's dream to see him play in Yankee Stadium and it finally came true. Umm, hope it was worth it.

Anyway, so "The Mexicutioner" as Soria is known has some pretty sick stuff and great numbers but that didn't stop Chicago's favorite columnist Jay Marriotti from saying this on ATH, "How about waiving the rule that every team has to be represented? You've got these relievers from Kansas City, from Baltimore because of that rule."

Douche. Do you even watch baseball at all? Will we not rest until every single all-star comes from the same three teams? What reliever do you think deserved to be there over Soria?

I guess I'll finish up with a final story about foul balls nearly killing people. It was Closing Day (does the last game have a name like Opening Day? In KC it's usually Run Through the Motions to Try to Avoid the 100th Loss and Get the Hell Out of Town Day) and we were there to catch one more game. We ended up showing up a little late and were getting a little rowdy in showing out love for Emil Brown in right field. "Emiiiiiiiil! Emiiiiiiiil! We love you, Emiiiiiiil!"

Well, late in the someone hits a screamer into the first base side and some girl goes down. The ushers are checking on her and I see one of them run back up the stairs. I assume that's the all clear sign and say something like, "she's ok!" Unfortunately, they were bringing down the stretcher and some girl behind me called me an asshole. Well, maybe, but, I mean, it's not like I would have said anything if I thought she wasn't ok. But, I learned my lesson and now I wait until I'm sure the person isn't really dead before making cracks like that.

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2 Comments:

Blogger erin said...

fun royals story- i remember that, and i also remember that you are not an asshole, just a funny drunk :)

and an asshole.

8:37 AM  
Blogger Warrior Princess said...

I was totaly unsuccesful at muffling my laughter when I looked at the first pic in the slideshow. I love that everyone is cringing b/c in most them there is a mixture of fear of getting hit and desire to catch the object among the faces. NO one has asked why my cubicle is erupting in laughter, yet.

12:12 PM  

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