Thursday, September 11, 2008

Chuck Norris Buying Into His Own Facts

Either Chuck Norris really is the badass everyone says he is or he's convinced himself it's true. Apparently he did two tours in Iraq and no one even noticed.
LARRY KING: The question about the money spent on Iraq was a fair question, Chuck. Isn’t that a lot of money?

CHUCK NORRIS: It’s a lot of money, but we’re spending a lot of money everywhere. We’re spending a lot of money on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and we’re spending a lot of money that we’ll probably wind up paying off the car dealers, the cars, and the airlines. I mean, we’re bailing everybody out. And, uh, we can debate the question of whether we should be in Iraq or not, but we are there and we gotta take care of the situation there. I’ve been there twice, Arianna. I’ve done two tours over there. I know what’s going on over there. You haven’t been there.

ARIANNA HUFFINGTON: This is really the most absurd response. Because the fact that you’ve been to Iraq, I’m sorry to say, makes no difference compared to the fact that—

NORRIS: Yeah, it does. I’ve talked to the troops over there.

HUFFINGTON: If the President. . .

NORRIS: I’ve talked to the troops. . .

HUFFINGTON: . . .and John McCain and Sarah Palin. . .

NORRIS: . . .and they believe that we should stay there until we finish the job. You know, you would pull tail and run.

HUFFINGTON: You know there are many, many people in the military. . .

NORRIS: Yeah, that’s your liberal view, Arianna. You’re so liberal.

HUFFINGTON: Let me just finish the sentence. There are many people in the military who are deeply concerned about what’s happening to our military. We are destroying our military. Suicides rates. . .

NORRIS: Not the military people I’ve talked to. I’ve talked to all the military commanders over there and they don’t feel that way, Arianna.

HUFFINGTON: If I were a member of the John McCain campaign, I would accuse you of sexism right now because you keep interrupting me.

NORRIS: Why? I’m backing Sarah Palin so I’m sexist?

HUFFINGTON: Let me just finish one sentence. What’s happening to the American military is something all of us need to be concerned about, as is the fact that we are absolutely spending trillions of dollars.

This brings up a few questions. Like why does Chuck Norris doing a few USO tours make him some kind of expert on Iraq? And why the hell is Chuck Norris debating anything? I mean, I guess he was in Delta Force and spent a couple of years fighting crime in Texas so that pretty much crosses the Sarah Palin threshold but now that the Huckster is gone why didn't the Chuckster go with him? And if anything can we have him debate evolution because that would be awesome. I love how Republicans get so pissed off about "liberal Hollywood" supporting the Democrats but then fall all over themselves whenever some two-bit actor is on their side (Charlton Heston, Ronnie Reagan, Ahnold, Chuck Norris, Fred Thompson, etc.).

And then what's with his argument that we spend a lot of money other places so it shouldn't matter that we spend it in Iraq? What kind of financial conservatism is that? It's great that financial conservatism only applies to social programs that help people and never to the billions we spend on bombers and these pointless wars.

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