Friday, October 10, 2008

Sounds like a great party

So, I returned to my apartment about 11:30 this evening to find one young man passed out on my steps and two people apparently down for the count in the grass across the street. The bar across the street from my place is kind of the frat dive bar so I often see them pre-partying in their costumes for whatever theme party they're having that night. Usually they slam some 3.2 beer and ride around on a bus or go to some smalltown bar they've rented out or I don't really know. What I do know is that the bus just chucks them out on the corner and I have to deal with a bunch of frat guys yelling "You're just a pledge! You shouldn't be doing this type of stuff!" to some guy that won't even be able to say his own name before tomorrow afternoon.

What actually drew my attention was the screaming match between a couple of the guys because one of them was bailing on the whole operation and walking home. The rest of them tried to pick up the guy, whom they later referred to as "Pledgie" to some girl that walked by, and carry him home two houses away. Being that most of the guys carrying him were only slightly less drunk they immediately fell down leading to a resounding "thump" I heard from my balcony. Hopefully, that wasn't Pledgie's head.

The guys then tried to solicit some help from some passers by who politely declined. As one of them put it, "I've never helped a guy in my life." Classy. Then a group of sorority types walked by with an approximately equal number of parents with them. The parents really were taking a look at this poor kid who is now sprawled out across my parking lot but didn't actually stop to help since one of the guys kept yelling "he's ok! he's ok!" Uhh, clearly. One of the dads finally stopped but it was only to talk about goddamn poker night with some kid he knew. Hey, nothing like standing and talking poker over some kid that can't move.

I'd noticed that one couple passing by decided they had to call 911 on this so I wasn't surprised when I saw a cop and ambulance pull up just as they made attempt number two at carrying this guy home. Everyone was standing around talking when a few minutes later a full fire engine pulled up with its lights and siren on. Uhh, a little late to the party, boys. After they load him into the ambulance his brother (for real this time, I think) runs up and starts pushing the only two guys who seemed interested in talking to the authorities about where this guy was going tonight. "Get the fuck away!" he yelled, as he pushed them away from the ambulance. Uhh, ok. At least these guys kind of gave a shit. And, really, I do give most of those guys some credit because they weren't going to leave the guy behind even when they saw the cop drive by the first time and none of them left until the ambulance was on its way. Now, next time, make sure this freshman can actually walk home the next time your bus is just dumping every trashed greek in my front yard.

So, that's the story about how "Pledgie" is going to have to explain to his parents why he needs several hundred dollars to pay for a stomach pump and just another tale from the ghetto.

2 Comments:

Blogger Paul Hattan said...

Skeeter: "You seen [a pledgie]?"

Frylock: "Uhhm, I think he's dead."

Skeeter: "Really? Ah, man. Well, if he wakes up make him drink."

1:03 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Fortunately Pledgie's dad owns a dealership so it's all good.

11:45 PM  

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