Tuesday, January 13, 2009

This was nothing like Jury Duty

Can you imagine if all you knew about jury duty came from the Paulie Shore movie Jury Duty? I'll bet you'd be pretty disappointed...or happy, depending on how you feel about his comedy.

But, yeah, I had jury duty for the first time yesterday and today. Murder, murder, murder was not the case that they lost but, in fact, a civil case involving a car accident, whiplash, and paid doctors. It was a complicated case, Maude. A lot of ins and outs, a lot of what have yous, lot of strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old duder's head.

The rub of the case was that a woman with previous back pain history was rear ended by a guy on the Kansas turnpike as the cars merged into two lanes. Was her current (and supposed increase in back pain) due to the accident or a pre-existing condition? The actual case isn't really exciting enough to go into but there were a few highlights. We had to endure lots of testimony from this cheesy chiropractor via a video-taped deposition and at the end of it this woman on the other side of the woman to my right leaned over to her and whispered "good looking, doctor." If you're into dopey looking guys with too much gel in their hair who are trying way too hard to act like they're some expert, I guess.

But, the best was the yokel who went into way too much detail about his recent legal troubles involving interference with public acts (because he refused police orders to leave the scene of a domestic disturbance until he got his ciggs from inside), his phone (he keeps it wrapped in saran wrap to keep it clean), and any other random thing that crossed his mind (To himself while everyone else is sitting in silence: "oh, I've got to see if I can change that appointment. Yeah, I could do it Thursday, I guess. Or should I just do it next week?").

The first day he wailed on the dish of lifesaver candies on the table. As we were leaving the bailiff is telling us how we're going to have coffee and donuts in the morning and do we need anything else? "Yeah," the guy shouted. "More Lifesavers!" Uhh, ok. So, this morning we have a full dish of candy that he is again wailing on in addition to the donuts and the coffee AND apple juice. During deliberations he's going after that candy again and immediately grabbing a Dr. Pepper. He was debating with himself about whether he should have another soda or whether he'd had enough sugar already when he leaped up. "I gotta go to the bathroom." Unfortunately the bathroom was waaay to close to our deliberations because I could hear every detail of whatever foul deeds were occurring in there. It was all I could do to break out a "hey, how 'bout a courtesy flush in there?" Also, you don't really see many people rocking the green courderouy pants with the slightly different shade of green courderouy shirt anymore.

With all of that said, I'm sure people are telling stories about me around their dinner table tonight because I was one of the 3 people holding up the process at the end arguing over money. It's not that I felt she deserved a ton of money or anything but in a civil case you have such a low burden of proof that I thought it was probable that a portion of her future medical expenses were due to the accident but it wasn't to be. I wasn't necessarily completely tied to the idea but I wasn't going to give in that easily to these people just because they wanted to go home. Justice must be done, dammit! However, we didn't exactly pull a "12 Angry Men" because we caved after like half an hour.

And that was pretty much it. A day and a half out of the lab and something like $50. That's not a bad deal, I guess.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did Mean Green join you in your unpopular opinion to slow things down so as to ingest more high fructose corn syrup? That would have been strategic.

I enjoyed the post, thanks.


4:17 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Heh, no, my guess is that he'd satisfied that addiction and was more worried about getting a smoke in. When the bailiff came to check on our progress this guy mumbled something about that.

10:22 PM  

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