Wednesday, March 18, 2009

OMG

These clips of the audio version of Bill O'Reilley's work of fiction, "Those Who Trespass", might be one of the best (worst) things I've ever heard in my life.

I'm actually stunned that these exist on so many different levels. First, he actually wrote this shit? Some of these quotes are laughably bad. Second, can you imagine actually listening to an entire book like this as he reads it to you? What's with the inflections when he says, "Off with those...pants"? "Say, baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe...up." That just sounds like he's reading one of his lame ass talking points or whatever he calls them.

I can't get past the fact that Papa Bear is reading these dirty, dirty lines to me. And he wishes he were a lesbian!

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