Thursday, May 21, 2009

More awesome moments from the K (in person!)

I went to the game with my dad tonight and had some moments that really entertained me. What better place to share them than here.

First, were these two Missouri fans.

It's kind of hard to see but the guy with the mullet is sporting a "Missouri Tigers" polyester jacket that I'm sure he's owned at least since the early 80's. Both his hat and shirt were emblazoned with the Mountain Dew logo but I think the shirt had some Nascar tie-in as well. The other guy was just wearing a Missouri hat and of course cut the sleeves off his shirt so everyone at the game can admire his guns. Just to reiterate, all stereotypes about Missouri are true.

After the third inning a bunch of families upgraded their seats. Some kid, probably 7 or 8 was climbing over the seat behind me and managed to kick me right in my spine. Uh, thanks. Then he decided to kick the back of my chair for 3 innings until his dad finally noticed and told him to quit.

This kid and his sister went from alternately annoying me and amusing me because they were both actually pretty big baseball fans. The boy got really excited because one guy had a 1.000 OPS and his sister asked him what OPS was. "Umm, on-base plus, umm....scoring." WRONG!

Then the girl asked if Zack Greinke was playing 2nd base. At this point I lost it and turned around saying, "NO, you idiot! Greinke is the best pitcher on the planet and they're not going to risk injuring him to play him at 2nd base! Jeez, you're a moron." By the time she'd stopped crying I decided that it was actually pretty impressive for a 5-year old to even know that Greinke played for the Royals so I apologized. Then one of them said that David Wright was pitching for the Royals now and I told her how many things were wrong with that statement. First, David Wright plays for the Mets so the Royals would have to trade for him. Second, he plays third base so there's no way they could turn him into a pitcher that fast. Third, I'm pretty sure not even the Royals would be dumb enough to try to do that. Clearly, you're thinking of Jamey Wright who already got yanked by the time I finished my list. Duh.

I like to hear the vendors come up with something new to hawk their wares, like, a unique way to say "Jumbo Peanuts" or something, but one of these guys was really creeping me out. He walked around with five different types of candy and yelled "Candyman!" in a really high-pitched voice. Then he would stop and talk to little kids using the same voice. The kids were legitimately freaked out by this so he kept saying, "It's just like I told that other girl, you can't be bashful around the candyman" in the same high-pitched voice. Pretty sure he's a pederast.

I feel like there was one more thing I wanted to write about but I guess that's it for now. In the end the Royals blew it in the most frustrating fashion. Defensive mistakes kept leading to runs and they failed to bring in the tying run with the bases loaded and one out in the 9th. Kerry Wood has just walked at least 2, maybe 3 guys and Teahen goes up to the plate swinging at the most ridiculous crap then watches strike 3 right down the middle. Way to go. But, the great thing about being a Royals fan is you're always just 4 games or fewer away from a Greinke start, or, in this case, tomorrow.

2 Comments:

Blogger Shawn said...

You did not actually yell at a five year old girl. Refuse to believe it, and I'm calling you out on it.

1:17 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Well, certain interactions may or may not have been exaggerated (read: made up) for comedic effect.

The other thing I was going to write about was the trashy couple in front of my who took at least half a dozen pictures of themselves throughout the game. Yep, that shot in the 6th inning looks exactly like the one in the 2nd inning. Maybe I'm just a bitter, lonely old man.

12:35 PM  

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