Thursday, July 09, 2009

American Soccer Hooligan Weekly

I'm sure Gold Cup talk is going to put my audience to sleep since it's barely holding my attention. Kind of hard to go from Spain and Brazil to Grenada and Honduras, right?

But, I thought it was really hilarious that the Mexicans announced that the much-anticipated World Cup qualifier on August 12 has now been set for a 3 PM Central Time kickoff. Really? A Wednesday game and you're going to set it to the middle of the afternoon local time? My first thought was that I was pretty pissed I wouldn't be able to go to the Red Lyon and watch it but my second thought was that these guys must really be freaking out about losing this game if they're going to resort to gimmicks like this. Is it supposed to be too hot for the US or what? Are they just supposed to freak out because OMG IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!!

It's just lame. It reminds me of high school when we were playing our biggest rivals from 10 or so miles away. Our coach came up to us before the game and said, "there's a rumor that they're going to warm up on their own field and then bus over right before the game. If they're resorting to stuff like this we know we're in their heads. Don't worry about it and let's just blow them away."

They did exactly what he said they were going to do. I can still picture their bus pulling up and them getting off in their pads. It was just such a transparent and pointless move because we proceeded to kick their ass and held out locker room door open just so they could hear us celebrate as they walked by.

This whole moving the game time around deal is the same lame crap this pathetic high school tried to pull. Just play the game and leave your ridiculous mind games at home. We already have to play in your smog choked hell-hole of a stadium dodging urine bombs the entire time and have never won there so what are you worried about? Are you going to be bring in every crappy car in the country to try to get that extra layer of smog hovering? Sending infected pigs across the border the week before? I guess not much would really surprise me coming from a team that refuses to shake hands every time the US wins.

I know I sound like an asshole but they field a team full of thugs that refuse to give the US a modicum or credit anytime they win and eventually it just turns me into Lou Dobbs ranting about our border security or Cartman licking the tears off Scott Tenorman's face.
"It hurts us here," said Jose Luis Luviano, 21, punching his chest. "There has to be an end to this disgrace where [Americans] treat us like rats and idiots."
Umm, no.

Clearly they struggle mightily to lose to the US on US soil (or Korean for that matter) so I can only imagine what a home loss will do to their psyche. Really hope we can win this one and find out...

Umm, just to be clear because there are so many people that actually hate Mexicans as a "race", this is all in the spirit of a soccer rivalry and I don't really want to identify myself with Lou Dobbs in anything. I just want them to lose every match they play and to bathe in their tears.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, I bring up that Scott Tenorman episode all the time and no one ever knows what I'm talking about.

Your tears are delicious to me,

4:23 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Heh, that is a classic episode. Absolutely hilarious watching him explain to everyone the extreme lengths he's going to in order to get his revenge.

12:01 PM  

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