Monday, February 22, 2010

Vintage Missouri

There was an absolute classic crime story in the KC Star today.

There's no way I can do the story justice so you really need to go read it. The comparison to a Coen brothers movie is too perfect. I think my favorite part is when he convinced them they were going to start a biker gang without any actual, you know, bikes. Yikes, way to go Missouri.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Super Bowl Thoughts

First, the commercials:
Nice to see the '85 Bears Shufflin' Crew, or, as I like to call them, the biggest gimmick team in sports, sell out again . This time they even managed to work in Jim McMahon wearing a thong. Thanks for that image, guys. I tried to make fun of my Bears fan friends about that and blew the joke which was disappointing.

Indie rock was all over the place. It was like listening to my playlist at work. I caught Arcade Fire, Grizzly Bear, the Heavy, and Kasabian for sure but there may have been others.

Apparently the hot trends in advertising are people in their underwear, encouraging men to be all manly and stuff, and trying to make me go to your website to see the full commercial. No. I won't do it.

Someone at the party I attended works for Motorola and said they sent out an email announcing no raises for anyone this year followed the next day by an email bragging that they bought a Super Bowl ad. He seemed a little annoyed when he saw that his raise went to pay for Megan Fox in a bathtub.

Who knew going into tonight that the Chiefs would get a win and the chance to hoist the Lombardi Trophy? Brian Waters won NFL Man of the Year and Hall of Famer Len Dawson got to carry the trophy to the stage. Unfortunately, that's about as close as they're going to get for a while.

Was I the only one who thought the best part of the half-time show was clearly the stage? Let's hear it for LEDs! Surrounding them with that was approximately 800 billion times cooler than making a bunch of people off the street wear the same color of t-shirt and run onto the field to pretend they're excited to see rock stars in their 60's lip sync a medley of their greatest hits. I like the Who and they weren't bad for the most part but is it possible to get somebody who didn't peak decades ago? What's going to happen when all of these bands actually can't perform anymore?

I was browsing through the list of Super Bowl halftime shows and I'm pretty sure this one from '91 is my favorite description:
New Kids on the Block, Disney characters, Warren Moon, 2,000 local children, audience card stunt
OK, maybe the Who isn't so bad after all.

Gotta love the Saints onside kick attempt. He'd be raked over the coals if it didn't work but they were going to need some breaks if they were going to pass the Colts. I'm disappointed we didn't get a cut to that Playboy skank after her 4th string receiver husband booted the ball. CBS was surprisingly restrained with only one cut to the Manning luxury box that I remember and none to that chick or the Kardashian.

Loved the dude with the Superdome shaved into his head picking off Favre's last pass and the game-clinching pass tonight. Those are two pretty impressive picks.

The studio guys for CBS...yeesh. I'll listen to what Cowher says but I don't think Marino or Boomer bring much to the table and I usually have no idea what Sharpe is trying to say at all. I will say they have taken fake-laughing to a level I didn't think humans could possibly reach.

While watching Brees and son on the field after the game, one of those guys said that winning a Super Bowl was the most precious moment a father could share with his son. Damn, thanks for nothing, dad.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Tea Bags gathering

I decided I wasn't going to write about the National Tea Bagger convention because, honestly, who has the energy to keep up with these nutjobs? If you're willing to pay Sarah Palin $100,000 to come speak at your event, well, I just can't respect that.

Thinking about Sarah Palin reminds of this wingnut I knew from school who posts crazy shit on Facebook, such as raving about Palin's book. She's so far out there that I have to question whether it's actually legit and not a joke. She actually joined a group promoting an amendment to the Constitution allowing George W. Bush a third term in office! She's one of the 30% or so that saw 8 years of Bush and thought, "ya know, I think we could use another four of this." Good grief.

Recently someone was encouraging her to go to some reception/gala event by bragging that the guest speaker was the fake prostitute involved in the "sting" of ACORN. I guess the other conservative intellectual heavyweights like Joe the Plumber weren't available but they legitimately seem excited about hearing what this woman had to say. I'm guessing it's a lot of "ACORN is stealing our votes and taking our jobs and giving them to illegal immigrants who sell them in order to pay for the abortions of welfare scammers. Socialist."

The fact that she was excited to see this woman was funny but the all-time classic happened either right before the inauguration when she forbid the grade schoolers in her classroom from saying "Barack Obama" because the kids were talking about him so much. I felt bad for the kids but I'm pretty sure she teaches at one of those fundie schools that doesn't actually have any accredidation so I'm pretty sure the kids are screwed already.

Where was I? Oh, right, the Teabaggers I'm not talking about. I was reading about their convention at the Opryland in Nashville and there was just too much comedy to pass up. You know the Basement is all about easy, cheap jokes at the right wing's expense. You know this.
Scores of tea party activists from as far as Hawaii arrived in Nashville on Thursday, energized by signs that their cries last year had been heard and that that political tide is turning against Obama and congressional Democrats. Someone hung a poster of Palin from a balcony overlooking a garden atrium at the Opryland complex. In the hotel lobby, a few delegates sat on luggage and read copies of the Declaration of Independence.
LOL, really? "Damn, look at this line. Guess I'll whip out my Declaration of Independence. I know I read something about the prohibition of closet Kenyan-born Muslim socialists serving as president in there somewhere."
And outside the convention hall, entrepreneurs sold souvenirs: sterling silver tea bag necklaces ($89.99), bags of "Freedom Coffee" ($9) and T-shirts emblazoned with a bald eagle ($20).
Yeah, I'll give them a tea bag pearl necklace for half that price, we just need to head upstairs to my room...
The convention host delivered a meandering welcome speech without notes, saying he misplaced them. Former congressman Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.) offered a fiery defense of Judeo-Christian faith and traditional American values, but there was no prayer or Pledge of Allegiance to open the convention -- nor was there an American flag in the convention hall. (Skoda blamed the oversight on the hotel staff.)
WHY DO YOU HATE JESUS AND AMERICA!??????!?!?!?!
Despite her fee, Palin said she will not "benefit financially" from the event. "Any compensation for my appearance will go right back to the cause," she wrote in an opinion article published in USA Today. Palin did not specify how she would distribute her earnings.
Benefit financially? What gave you that idea? That's what campaign funds are for. But, seriously, if that money is going "right back into the cause" why not just decline the money so it could "stay right in the cause"? Also.
Tea Party Nation, a social-networking site, is organizing the convention. Although it is a for-profit corporation, founders Judson and Sherry Phillips have said that any profit will be funneled back into the movement. "We have made the best of a tight budget and scaled back the price of attending this convention as much as we could without putting TPN into bankruptcy," Sherry Phillips wrote recently in an e-mail to members.

Still, other prominent voices in the movement remain furious. Erick Erickson, editor of RedState.com, a conservative blog, wrote that the convention "smells scammy." Two tea party groups, the American Liberty Alliance and the National Precinct Alliance, withdrew from the convention in protest, as did two featured speakers, Reps. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) and Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.).

"It didn't sound 'tea party' to me," said Anthony Shreeve, 27, a tea party organizer from Tennessee who is boycotting the convention. "It sounded more like a regular Republican fundraiser."
Michelle Freaking Bachmann pulled out from this? Yikes, it must be a scam if even her never-met-a-crazy-ass-statement-I-wouldn't-say-to-get-my-wingnut-ass-on-TV face isn't showing up.

Sadly, the Republicans will probably succeed in channeling this craziness into electoral victories in the fall while Democrats continue to pretend they have someone negotiating in good faith, but, ehhh, they're still crazy.