Sunday, May 09, 2010

I think this is supposed to be an attack ad?

I love the incredulous way the announcer reads the quote "evolution...best explains the origins of life" like someone was making the case for UFOs bringing Lizard People to run our government. Only in Alabama (and about half of the other states and every Republican primary) can you be mocked for saying something reasonable.


I was flipping through the Sunday paper today and came across a special Mother's Day interview with Sarah Palin. It was her usual drivel that isn't even worth mentioning except for her quote about teaching her kids "Alaska values" then goes on to list hunting, fishing, four-wheeling, and gold-panning. Gold panning? What the fuck? I've never been to Alaska but I have to guess that most people don't actually teach their kids gold-panning unless they want them to portray some yokel miner for tourists, right? I mean, gold-panning? Was she serious?

The other thing that amused was the glossy insert they put in there. One is the "USA Weekend" and the other is "American Parade" or something like that. Anyway, both of them have this section where people write in with questions about celebrities. I don't have the section in front of me but I'll summarize the questions I remember and answer them how I would have.
"I read that John King is replacing Lou Dobbs on his CNN show. What can you tell me about him?"
Yeah, google.com. Try it.

"I really love what's her name on Cold Case. Has she done any other TV or movies?"
IMDB. Seriously.

"I really love the Andrews Sisters. What are they doing now?"
Jeebus, are you 105? The Andrews Sisters? They haven't had a hit since WWII, have they? Two of them are dead and one of them is clinging to life in a nursing home. Wikipedia.

I mean, really, isn't this just Google for people that have no clue how to use it? I've decided I want to get a question answered but I'm struggling to come up with something inane enough to actually have a chance.

Junction City, KS, is just a weird place. I stopped at Subway and in the parking lot there was a pickup with no fewer than 5 metal and decal Transformers logos and a back window sticker that said "To Destroy and Enslave." I would have taken a picture but I was afraid it would turn into a robot and crush me. In addition was a new Mustang with lots of decals about "German engineered, French engine, American muscle" which didn't make a ton of sense to me and then the other door had something about "mama's ride" and class or some other crap. Like I said, weird place.

Update: OK, one more political ad. Here's John McCain getting all Mavericky. I like the nice touch of bringing in the skinhead and the "one of us" lingo.

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