Friday, July 09, 2010

The "King" Decrees

Well, two-time MVP, zero-time champion LeBron James announced his decision to head to Dwyane Wade's Miami Heat. I kind of watched the special but it was muted for almost all of it. I did see the absolutely ludicrous "DecisionWater" ad and the even more ludicrous scene of announcing the decision in front of the Greenwich, Connecticut Boys and Girls Club. Possibly the richest and whitest in the country? They did manage to stock the cooler full of LeBron James' endorsed VitaminWater which was nice. Hopefully the kids got to drink some before it was loaded back into the props truck. The ESPN media seemed pretty disinterested in actually asking any follow-up questions when LeBron would say something about how much it hurt to leave Cleveland. Umm, so why did you leave? And why did you do it in an hour-long TV special? Nah, that's against the bottom line. We're still a legitimate journalistic enterprise that happens to have huge financial interests in creating storylines and broadcasting the games and athletes we cover. Don't screw that up by pissing off the bread winners.

The only benefit, in my eyes, is that the egotism and greed on display was so brazen that people had to pay attention. Will Leitch sums up the disgusted feelings something like this can evoke much, much more eloquently than I could have. We may scoff at a self-proclaimed "King" with no titles who deems it necessary to bring the spotlight to him without a second thought to how that might look to or affect the fans in his home state who have cheered and defended him for years but it's a product of a culture that has coddled and deified him for years. Cover of Sports Illustrated as a high schooler? He has more in common with a child star like Lindsey Lohan than some of the great athletes he's been compared to.

Oh well, here's to finding a new villain in the Big Three and the rest of the scrubs left to fill out the roster. Honestly, as a basketball move going to Chicago might have made more sense. That's a young team with some room to make a few more moves. Miami is so handicapped by three huge contracts that they're already shipping out Michael Beasley. (Yeah, T-Wolves! Kind of a no-risk move for them other than continuing to stack up players at the same position.) Miami looks good on paper but D Wade isn't going to give up control of the team easily and maybe LeBron is cool with that (which would be weird but maybe he's just not built to be The Man). No matter how you slice it Miami is just the boring, totally lame choice. There's no storyline other than following Wade and Bosh. Not exactly the stuff of legend.

Finally, how about Cleveland's owner unleashing this bomb? The complete child-like outrage is hilarious enough but the fact that he chose to go with Comic Sans font takes it up a notch. For a font that's been used inappropriately possibly more than any other this might be one of the all-time worst. Come on, how can I take you seriously when you're font is just so damn playful and obnoxious?

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