My Life in the Basement

Eh heh heh heh eh heh

2011-12-02T19:15:00.001-06:00

Weird. It's like the exact same laugh every time.

Err-or. Does not compute. Commence laugh sequence.

2011-11-16T12:45:00.001-06:00

The Brutal Truth

This hit on a lot of the thoughts I had about the scene surrounding Saturday's game and going forward as well as the real underlying issues.

It is not a failure of our institutions so much as it is a window into what they have become — soulless, profit-driven monsters, Darwinian predators with precious little humanity left in them. Penn State is only the most recent example. Too much of this country is too big to fail.

scorncob

2011-06-01T15:17:00.002-05:00

The overwrought moralizing from sportswriters has been a source of annoyance to me for years. I thought Steve Rushin wrote a nice column about it that hit on some of the main reasons why I have a little more trouble getting worked up over steroids or whatever other controversy is the topic of the day.

Anyone who feels real moral outrage when reading the Sports section has almost certainly skipped the News and Metro sections. The murderers given a single paragraph on 2C, The Hague-bound war criminals on 1A, would leave the most self-righteous reader too demoralized to moralize on, say, the Miami Heat. A man taking his talents to South Beach is, in the context of a single day's newspaper, a comical diversion, a performance-art piece of slapstick self-absorption.

Crossover

2011-05-25T17:53:00.000-05:00

Really enjoyed this. I remember hearing about Hardaway's crossover as a kid and learning what it was. AI's was definitely one of the best though.

Osama

2011-05-01T23:05:00.003-05:00

A couple of scattershot thoughts on the killing of Osama bin Laden. Just a few things that crossed my mind.

I'm not the type of person to celebrate the death of anyone but I'm not shedding any tears over someone who orchestrated, encouraged, and inspired so many terrorist attacks that led to the death of thousands in all corners of the world. The idealist in me thought it would be a great representation of what I think the US should be if we captured him and brought him in front of a fair trial. It's unlikely that ever could have happened but I think it would have been a good symbol.

Do you think that conversation with Pakistan was a little awkward?
"Huh. So, you say he was sitting in a compound 40 miles from our capital the entire time? That's so crazy! I mean, you'd think we'd have noticed something like that."
"Uh, yeah..."
"No, but seriously, we really need just like 20 or 30 million dollars for some new military stuff. You know. Gotta keep up the fight against Al Qaeda! Am I right?"

Something like this makes a threatened government shutdown look dumb. It makes the birther "controversy" look dumber than I ever thought possible.

I'm not sure whether reading my Twitter timeline was worse than watching the network coverage. At one point the CBS reporter said something to the effect of, "Obama was briefed this morning. He played 9 holes of golf this afternoon. Maybe it's surprising he played golf at all but I guess perhaps that's why he only played 9 holes." My Twitter feed was mostly death certificate jokes, gloating, and other useless snark.

Despite all of that there were a couple of lines that made me laugh at the time:
"FOXNEWS REPORTS: Obama Administration Kills Homeless Religious Man with Kidney Disease"
"So he wasn't in a cave after all? Fucking poser!"
"So, who'd Trump fire tonight?"

Fox News did manage to put "Obama bin Laden" in their caption more than once. Fair and Balanced!

I've been thinking about how the cynic in me believes that our leaders like to have a convenient enemy to point to for a variety of reasons. Bin Laden is gone but there will always be somebody else. Al Qaeda was always more than one guy but it's also less than they have been portrayed in our media. While eliminating a powerful symbol may not finish off al Qaeda or "terrorism" in general, my hope is that this serves as some sort of catalyst to end these seemingly endless wars once and for all. Already some of the talking heads were beating the drum that there are still more terrorists out there we have to kill and I expect that line will continue over the next few days if there is actually any momentum towards withdrawing more troops.

A great way to help balance the state budget

2011-04-21T17:58:00.003-05:00

Eliminate the wingnuts. Turns out Kansas has spent over $500,000 defending insane former AG Phill Kline from ethics charges stemming from his various crusades. Thanks, Phill. You're the gift we can't get rid of. More hearings are scheduled for this summer.

Speaking of wingnuts, 48% of Iowa Republicans believe Obama was born in Kenya while 26% aren't sure. Yeah, no way they're electing someone sane as their candidate in '12. It's going to be horrifying (and maybe a little amusing) watching them try to out-crazy each other before attempting to walk it all back after they get the nomination.

Blockquoting

2011-04-12T18:06:00.004-05:00

These numbers about the electricity usage to grow marijuana indoors kind of blew my mind.

A new study estimates that indoor pot-growing operations in the United States burn about $5 billion worth of electricity annually, or roughly 1 percent of national power consumption. That’s enough electricity to power two million average homes.

The electricity use of the typical grow operation approaches 200 watts per square foot, on par with the power usage of a modern computer data center, Evan Mills, a staff scientist at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory and author of the study, said in a statement. (The study was completed in his free time and without federal funds, Dr. Mills added.)

The study estimated that a single joint contains the equivalent of roughly two pounds of carbon dioxide emissions, the equivalent of running a 100-watt bulb for about 30 hours on the California grid.

1% of consumption for the entire United States??

Budget cuts...

The entire list of shit what got cut is darkly amusing, like watching a cartoon salami with teeth discover his own body is delicious and then devouring himself. Gas prices skyrocketing and our tiresome dependence on foreign oil keeping us involved in our tiresome wars? Well, fuck you, you public transportation-using pussy: "the bill eliminates new funding for High Speed Rail and rescinds $400 million in previous year funds, for a total reduction of $2.9 billion from fiscal year 2010 levels."

The Rude Pundit is typically rude about some of the more absurd and short-sighted budget cuts that were the victim of the latest standoff. How great is it that we live in a country where, G.E., our largest corporation paid exactly $0 in taxes last year but we are cutting $600 million from community health centers and $1 billion for TB and AIDS prevention? Again, G.E. reported $14 billion in worldwide profits and paid $0 in taxes but we're looking at cutting into Medicare and Medicaid. Sorry, poor people, better not get sick because we're sooo serious about the budget deficit that we're going eliminate your doctor visits and cut taxes for the Koch's. It's bad enough when this shit happens under somebody like Bush but under Democrats? I'm sure car salesmen loved selling to Obama because we once again managed to end up with more cuts than were in the initial Republican offer. How is that possible? Dude, please stop with the grand unifier stuff because they're humiliating you every time.

The Civil War...

Today, the war’s centrality in American history seems both assured and tenuous. Each generation, the social critic Lewis Mumford once said, re-examines and re-interprets that part of the past that gives the present new meanings and new possibilities. That also means that for a time an event, any event, even one as perpetually important as the Civil War, can face the specter being out of historical fashion.

But in the end, it seems that the War of the Rebellion, the formal name our government once gave to the struggle, always invades our consciousness like the childhood traumatic event it was — and still is.

Used up your New York Times articles yet? Ken Burns wrote a good one on the 150th anniversary of start of the Civil War.

On a positive note, there's some good music out this week. I've enjoyed previews of the new stuff from Panda Bear, Low, and tUnEyArDs and am also planning on checking out the new TV on the Radio. Anybody listening to anything good?

Arming the world

2011-03-23T22:12:00.002-05:00

This video seemed appropriate after I read this about the US and Europe selling weapons to Libya over the last few years. We sold about $50 million worth of stuff to them during the Bush years and only congressional intervention stopped a $77 million deal from going through earlier this year. That may sound bad but Europe was in for about $450 million last year alone!

I wish i could say this is unbelievable except we've seen it all before time and time again. We loved sending shit over to the Taliban when they were using it against the Soviet Union and Iraq was definitely our buddy when they were fighting Iran. Who could have predicted we'd end up fighting them later???

So, we're selling stuff to Gadhafi earlier this year and now suddenly he's a ruthless dictator that we must eliminate? Well, no shit, he was the same ruthless dictator 6 months ago and everyone knew it. We'll bomb the hell out of them, make some new enemies, spend insane amounts of money, and hope that we end up with a Libya that's slightly more tolerable than the current one (at best). Oh yeah, and the military-industrial complex rakes in obscene profits by selling weapons to both sides. Same old story.

This is totally badass

2011-03-04T13:37:00.002-06:00

Check out this story of a bald eagle who crashed through the windshield of a semi in Idaho and survived. The eagle was recently released back into the wild.
I'm trying to imagine driving around when suddenly AMERICA! happens right up in your face at 65 miles per hour. Bam!

Eagle versus semi truck? American Exceptionalism FTW!

It's a golden age for the paranoid and delusional

2011-03-02T14:38:00.003-06:00

Hey, everybody, gather 'round! That crazy guy's on the teevee again.
Which one?

Time to play everyone's favorite game..."Sheen, Beck, or Qaddafi?"

I didn't do so hot but I started doing much better one I started giving a certain talk show credit much less credit than I originally thought he deserved.

Update: I started to feel bad because I'm a little sick of the feeding frenzy surrounding the Charlie Sheen thing. I mean, the guy is obviously really messed up right now but that makes for great television so everyone is tripping over themselves to put him in front of a camera so they can see what batshit crazy thing he has to say now.

Then there's Glenn Beck. I'm positive he's mentally ill but I'm not exactly sure what we should do about him.

One link is not a chain

2011-02-25T10:19:00.001-06:00

What your favorite classic rock band says about you.

Derbysieg!

2011-02-16T21:57:00.002-06:00

FC St. Pauli is the hottest team in the Bundesliga since the return from the winter break. Somehow they stole a win from their crosstown rivals Hamburger SV. I just thought I'd mention that and share these two pics.

Floyd vs. Eustachy

2011-02-16T09:40:00.002-06:00

Here's a nice column on former Iowa State coaches and friends Tim Floyd and Larry Eustachy facing off tonight.

I guess the column is fine but I don't understand how you write something that long with the angle that Eustachy bought Floyd's house and not mention The Commercial.

"Larry! What are you doing?"
"Yard work?"

And how is that not on YouTube?

Another great debate

2011-02-15T08:23:00.003-06:00

The Iowa Senate is now debating whether pre-school = Nazi indoctrination.

On the one hand:

“As Senator McCoy pointed out, the Chinese are taking 2- and 3-year-olds and educating them. And as a student of history, I also know the Nazis, the Soviets, a whole variety of groups, a whole variety of countries, take their children because it’s not just up to age six they’re so malleable."

And on the other side:

Democratic Sen. Tom Courtney said he recently visited Black Hawk Preschool in Burlington where a teacher named Rachel was trying to give about 40 kids a head start on kindergarten.

“Didn’t see any Nazis,” said Courtney, who lives in Burlington. “Didn’t see any indoctrination.”

Ehh...but how can we be sure?

Clueless

2011-02-10T21:19:00.003-06:00

From Maryland (via Daily Kos)

Women are reacting with outrage over the comments made by two Frederick County commissioners Tuesday advising Head Start mothers to stay married and not hold jobs outside the home.

Commissioners Kirby Delauter (R) and C. Paul Smith (R) said during a meeting that the best way to help their children succeed in life is to stay married and stay home with their children. Both men touted their wives and the sacrifices they made by not holding jobs outside the home.
...
On Tuesday, commissioners voted 4-1 to pull $2.3 million in county funding from the Head Start program as of March 1.
...
"As many of you know, I had a lot of kids and my wife stayed home at a significant sacrifice in those early years, because she knew she had to be with those kids," said Smith, who is the parent of 12 children. "I know everybody isn't able to survive doing that, but clearly if we can strengthen marriage, we can decrease the number of children we have to reach."

Smith, an attorney, said his comments were fitting since the board had just issued a proclamation earlier that morning supporting the institution of marriage.

"I think it is very significant that we did make this Marriage Week announcement today because that is the best long-term way to help our children," he said.
...
"I'd just like to say that I have four kids that graduated from Frederick County Public Schools," he said. "My wife is college educated and could go out and get a very good job. She gave that up for 18 years, so she could stay home with our kids and we gave up a lot to do that. I agree with Commissioner Smith. The marriage thing is very important."

Delauter told the parents that they should not rely on the government to educate their kids.

"I never relied on anyone else to guarantee the education of my kids," he said. "My wife and I are the ultimate decision makers on the education of our kids."
...
"He asked me my opinion, and I said that part of the deterioration of our country is the government raising our kids," said Young, who referred to "latch-key kids" who are forced to be home alone while their parents work. "Then there are those parents that don't take responsibility for their kids."

Gray, who was unable to be interviewed on radio, said he thinks Delauter and Smith have no idea how some families struggle to live.

"I think they failed to understand how other people live," Gray said. "One [Delauter] owns a construction company and the other guy [Smith] is a lawyer. I guess they had the means to do it [marry women would could stay home]. There are a lot of people that can't."

That pretty much sums it up. I'm sure their lectures on the value of stay-at-home moms will more than make up for the $2.3 million they're cutting from Head Start. Truly disgusting.

The Mayor and some Chiefs talk

2011-01-08T11:43:00.002-06:00

Before the season I was worried that Iowa State was going to be a historically bad team (I mean, they were bringing back 3 or 4 guys from a team that pretty much sucked anyway) but they're off to a 13-2 start which is apparently the best since the 2000-01 team (unhhh JT). Granted the schedule has been pretty much a joke but they've still got road wins against Iowa and Virginia which is a decent accomplishment. Apparently people are starting to notice because there was actually a pretty good writeup about the Mayor in the New York Times today.

The whole thing is such a ridiculously "Iowa" story that I would love to mock it except it's actually kind of awesome. Blond-haired, blue-eyed, former ball boy, star player marries his high school sweetheart and returns from an NBA career to lead his alma mater. Is it too early to put him on the Iowa Mt. Rushmore next to Kurt Warner?

Anyway, here's another article from the alumni magazine that covers pretty much the same territory except it contained this gem:

eating at the now-defunct Happy Joe’s

Worst. Pizza buffet. Ever.

Hey, the Chiefs are back in the playoffs. The last time I saw them win a playoff game I was wearing glasses and braces so it's been a while. Not surprisingly, Berman and Jackson still had the same shtick. I still have a vivid memory of watching Keith Cash spike the ball on Buddy Ryan's face after his TD (around 3:00 in the video).

My expectations are lower this year but it's worth noting that a loss will give the Chiefs an NFL-record 7 game playoff losing streak. That's pretty epic.

I'd feel a lot better if they were playing the Jets instead of the Ravens and I hadn't watched the Raiders D crush Cassel for four quarters and they had a more consistent defense and they didn't have a track record of completely melting down in the playoffs but...you never know.

This week in Lawrence and beyond

2011-01-06T22:34:00.003-06:00

I have a couple of thoughts to share and this has been the place for that. We'll start in Lawrence.

State Representative Anthony Brown, a Republican from Eudora (small town about 10 miles down the road) caused a bit of a stir when he decided that a chamber of commerce breakfast in Lawrence was the appropriate time to start punching hippies and bashing the town and university.

"KU and Lawrence are not very well-respected," said Brown.

He said many people across the state see Lawrence as too liberal. Brown said he sees signs in local businesses that read "Free Republic of Lawrence."

"That needs to change," he said.

State Rep. Barbara Ballard, D-Lawrence, however, defended her hometown as one that recognizes equal rights for all.

"Maybe Lawrence is the conscience of the state," Ballard said. "Every community is different. Ours is different," she said.

Well, thanks for your input, Anthony. See, the thing is, most of us kind of like living in Lawrence and like that it is the way it is. Of course we also tend to hold crazy, extremist views like maybe it isn't Lawrence that should change but maybe legislators that would punish a town and a university financially because many of those living there happen to hold an opposing political viewpoint should change. Maybe they should stop trying to cut off their nose to spite their face. Lawrence is one of the places in this state that's actually growing at a decent rate and one of the few places that attract young people. If Kansas has any hope in the future we're going to need to produce an educated workforce that actually has an interest in staying in the state. Perhaps accepting those that choose to live in places like Lawrence and treating them as equal partners in the state would be the better option instead of trying to figure out ways to exterminate them. But, what do I know? I live in Lawrence.

I recognize that the viewpoint that he expressed is out there (people have asked me what it's like to live here as if it's someplace that's not a three hour car ride from my hometown or we don't have three farm stores and a John Deere dealer) but what's frustrating is that people holding that viewpoint are rarely actually here or focus on the one weird thing that made them uncomfortable when they were here. Even if Lawrencians did suddenly decide not to be so liberal in an attempt to win the respect of everyone else in the state (?) would any of them actually notice? What I really find most amusing about the situation is that I see as much or more Kansas pride in Lawrence than I ever have anywhere else. Yes, there are the "20 Square Miles of Reality Surrounded by Kansas" shirts but there's also a certain attitude of defiance in the state flags hanging from porches, the band names referencing the state motto, and the ever-present "Free State" moniker that says this state has a populist history that lives on in Lawrence even if the rest of you have forgotten. I don't think anything Anthony Brown says is going to change that.

Anyway, I'll get off my Kansas soapbox but, seriously, screw that guy.

The Lawrence Public Library unveiled their new logo to a mostly...confused reaction. Hey, it's a box with a circle in it. I don't get it. Maybe Anthony Brown was on to something... But, really, props to Billy Pilgrim for taking time out of starring in Slaughterhouse-Five to give us this.

Did you hear about the homeless guy that could sing or had a great voice or something? I haven't actually watched the video but I gather that the Cleveland Cavaliers hired him to do stuff for them. The rest of you homeless that don't have the type of skills that can go viral? Well, stop getting in the way of this feel-good story, ok? We're not worried about you right now. By the way, the Cleveland Cavs owner made his money peddling subprime loans to people who couldn't afford them but I'm sure giving this one guy a job will make up for playing a role in nearly wrecking the world's economy and helping to send millions more to the unemployment line.

I was fortunate enough to attend my very first Chiefs game last weekend. I was unfortunate enough that it was about 30 degrees and they got crushed by the Raiders. So, Chiefs-Raiders in the cheap seats was quite the, uh, experience. I'm fairly certain most of the Raider fans around us don't actually know anything about football they just enjoy showing up places and pissing everyone off in the name of getting attention. Seriously, I get that you're a Raider fan you can stop waving your blanket in my face now.

Things that happened at the game near me:
1. Drunk girl throws empty beer bottle at the most obnoxious Raider fans near us. Proceeds to pass out on her boyfriend's(?) lap for the last 2.5 quarters while he he shows off to his friends by making lewd gestures with her head.

2. Super fat drunk guy behind me slams about $60 worth of stadium beers and spends the game dropping f-bombs on all of the other fans because they won't stand the entire game (my theory is that he was too fat to actually sit in his seat). He blames the fans every time Oakland scores. One particularly profane rant leads the super fat old guy to stand up and yell at him.
"YOU! YOU! SHUT YOUR MOUTH! MY GRANDKIDS ARE HERE AND I'M TIRED OF LISTENING TO YOU. You better quit that cursing and shut your damn mouth before I step up there and kick your fat ass." Yes, he cursed twice in an anti-cursing rant and I wish I could have a transcript of what they actually said because there's no way I can come close to doing it justice. They start going back and forth. Threats are issued. Old guy starts up the stairs when fat drunk guy's friend steps in to defuse the situation. Fat Drunk Guy continues to mock "grandpa" but actually stops cursing for the most part.

3. Raider fan: "Yeah, 6-0 in the division. Suck on that!"
Chief fan: "We're still going to the playoffs and you're not."
Raider fan: "Who care about that?"
Chief fan: "Umm, everyone else?"

So, yeah, loved the tailgating, loved the stadium atmosphere, didn't so much love everyone around me. In the words of my friend on the way home, "Why do drunk rednecks love football so much?" I still would have loved to go to the playoff game but I think I'll save my $60 and enjoy it in warmth and HD.

Music 2010

2010-12-13T23:25:00.008-06:00

These are my favorite albums of the year. I have no idea if they're "the best" or not because there are lots of albums I didn't buy, didn't hear, or bought and didn't appreciate for whatever reason. I just want to talk a little bit about what I liked and why. They're kind of ranked from 20 to 1 but don't get too hung up on the order. After the "top 20" I have a few other things I thought deserved some mention. I'd love to hear some feedback on any of it. What did you like? What did you hate? Do you just want to call me a pretentious Pitchfork sniffing snob? Anyway, here they are:

Cee Lo Green - The Ladykiller
"Fuck You" was one of the best songs of the year and Cee Lo is definitely an interesting dude.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU

Vampire Weekend - Contra
Not as good as their first but I enjoyed it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkUQ-OBazbc

Salem - King Night
Ha, this is some scary, scary stuff. It's kind of like electronic music chopped up and then filtered through a horror movie. It does some of the old "screw" stuff on some tracks with rap vocals. Pass the purple drank?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IvoN4YUF4o

Surfer Blood - Astro Coast
I'm putting a link to The Turnpike episode of their show because it was so much fun for me. It was absolutely wall to wall at Replay and there was a ton of sweaty, sweaty energy at the place.
http://www.lawrence.com/turnpike/videos/920/

Best Coast - Crazy for You
I kept seeing great reviews of this album then listening to the songs and thinking "they all sound exactly the same." Well, kind of, they may be somewhat simple but she does such a good job of selling them and getting to the heart of it that eventually it clicked for me. It just sounds good.
Kinda cute moment from the show I was at even though the sound isn't the best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBdKQv26ty0

The Black Keys - Brothers
Another really good album from them. Moved into more of a soul thing than straight-up blues but I liked it a lot.

Caribou - Swim
Just some really cool electronic music. I hadn't listened to any of their older stuff but I really dug what they did with this. I don't know exactly what the hook was on "Odessa" but it was great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiSa7THgxrI

Beach House - Teen Dream
This album is like being in a giant nostalgia cloud that's warm and full of soft, shimmering lighting. Which is kind of exactly what their concert was like. Really beautiful in a strange way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-wfb25WmV4

Tallest Man on Earth - The Wild Hunt
I was going to try to write this without mentioning Bob Dylan but I can't. A man and a guitar doing those types of songs with a voice like that and it's the first thing that comes to mind. What's good is that despite that comparison TMoE can reinterpret them in new way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qdM8WdTfH4

Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
Another really good Gorillaz album. It had a few more weak spots than previous albums (or maybe I eventually just ignore those) but they're still managing to find ways to do new, interesting music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhPaWIeULKk

The National - High Violet
I think this ended up being a little underrated because it followed The Boxer, which was so popular among the critics. I thought this song was fantastic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfySK7CLEEg

The Walkmen - Lisbon
Just a consistently really good record. Does a great job setting up a certain atmosphere and seems like a band that's maturing beyond their angry side.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4BHHMhPMu0&feature=related

Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
Easily my most-anticipated album of the year. Arcade Fire takes on the Suburbs...kind of. I'll agree that it generally points out some of the shittier things about the suburbs that have all been said before but I thought it also was really nostalgic for them, or at least what they represented, and went after the same types that reflexively opposed a lot of those same things. I thought the album had some great moments but there are parts where it does tend to drag just a bit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rH_7_XRfTMs

Sufjan Stevens - The Age of Adz
A weird, wildy interesting album. Just when you're starting to get in a groove or enjoy some really beautiful stuff he drops in blaring horns or trilling notes or some other annoyance. At one time I declared parts of the album to be "almost unlistenable" but then I went to see his sold-out concert where he basically sat down and explained his ideas and goals and process in words, really amazing video imagery, and some kind of terrible dancing. But it totally worked. With a new perspective I listened to it for a week straight and love it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTsDcjHj54M&feature=related

Sleigh Bells - Treats
I really feel like "Rill Rill" was one of the catchiest songs of the year and could have induced thousands of people to buy this album then never listen to anything else on it when they realized that nothing else on there sounds anything like it. If you don't like loud music you'll probably hate this but Sleigh Bells found a way to combine some of the loudest music out there with some really beautiful melodies tucked away.
Rill Rill: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLRnmQ-4Yp0
Tell 'Em: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kJ05P-71gY&feature=related

Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
A brilliant album that basically came out of nowhere for me. It's not that I haven't enjoyed Kanye in the past it's just that I basically thought he was a decent rapper, brilliant producer, and kind of an asshole who was moving in a direction I wasn't interested in. For someone who can be amazingly oblivious to the rest of the world and how it perceives him versus how he perceives himself he actually some great moments of introspection. Plus, it's Kanye, so...hooks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L53gjP-TtGE

Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
I spent most of the year thinking this was the best hip hop album I'd heard in a long time and I still feel that way. Big Boi was always a little overshadowed in Outkast but this really works for me in a way that none of Andre's solo stuff has.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWsvkW6rKkQ

Janelle Monae - The ArchAndroid
I read someone describe her as basically the George Clinton at his peak of this generation. Amazingly audacious concept album from an extremely talented performer. She hits about every genre possible on this album and manages to pull off almost everything.
This is such an amazing video if you stick with it and listen to the lyrics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqmORiHNtN4

LCD Soundsystem - This is Happening
James Murphy does human relationships with all the awesome dance-rock and oddly funny lyrics you would expect. "Drunk Girls" isn't my favorite song on the album but it has a weird video so here ya go:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xT6cdfP_cM

And my favorite album of 2010:
Titus Andronicus - The Monitor
This album got stuck in my head early last spring when I first previewed it online and basically never left it. It's a sprawling, exhilarating, ambitious as hell (so much so it includes it's own "Suggested Further Reading" list) punk album that uses the Civil War and about a thousand other references to look at the internal conflicts people can face when they attempt to go against the dominant culture. Or at least that's kind of how I interpreted it but it's also about dealing with intense emotions, something they clearly evoke on this album. The lyrics are witty, the music is powerful, and I'm a sucker for someone who swings for the fences on something like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08fqHr_KGPY

Deserves a mention for a great song or a great EP that doesn't quite qualify as an album:
Gayngs - Relayted "The Gaudy Side of Town"
You should be using this to seduce someone right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m2pBzdlmHw

Wye Oak - My Neighbor/My Creator "I Hope You Die"
Saw them twice this year and think they're poised to break out. She has a great voice and the other guy plays keys and drums at the same time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgkd2lFI9X8

Cults - "Go Outside" Released a couple of songs out of nowhere that were really good. The hype machine is at work...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHhEBqRTXdk

Carolina Chocolate Drops - Genuine Negro Jig
Best new bluegrass album I heard (which admittedly wasn't many).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRX91eF_cY0

Freddie Gibbs - Str8 Killa "National Anthem (Fuck the World)
Is it lame to still listen to gangsta rap? Maybe. But when he hits that verse at double speed....the dude has some talent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed4GJX8nf_g

Girl Talk - All Day
I always liked Girl Talk but it was always a little too frenetic for me to actually listen to. This album could "breathe" a little bit more and I thought it was amazing.

I was going to link to the last track which is phenomenal but I won't because you can't appreciate it fully unless you go through the entire album. Ha, I'm serious. Download it for free here instead:
http://www.illegal-art.net/allday/

Aziz Ansari - Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening. Funniest comedy album I heard assuming Patton Oswalt didn't actually release his this year.

Worst album: Katy Perry - Teenage Dream. Granted I haven't actually listened to it and I think she's pretty good looking but I think her music that I have heard is brutal and she ripped off her album name from Beach House.

Most memorable shows I can think of right now and didn't mention earlier:
Sweatiest dance party: Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybees

Biggest event: Scion Garage Fest - King Khan would have won sweatiest dance party but he can't since he was part of this whole event which was amazing. Four venues, tons of people, lots of good bands. Great time.

Best crowd: Surfer Blood - Should have been a bigger venue and the fact it was in the Replay made it that much better.

Best discovery I'd never heard of before - tUnEyArDs opening for Dirty Projectors and Xiu Xiu in different shows. Very unique thing going on. I mentioned Wye Oak already so they didn't win but they were probably my favorite.

Loudest show: A Place to Bury Strangers/The Big Pink. After APTBS's set the crowd basically stumbled outside en masse just to get their bearings after 20 minutes of strobe and soul-crushing noise. Amazing experience.

Best Show: Janelle Monae. This girl is a performer! Maybe it helped that she was a local KCK girl performing in front of her family but she can sing, dance, create a show like few people I've seen.

Best local bands: the Kinetiks, Hospital Ships, Rooftop Vigilantes, Cowboy Indian Bear, Hello Biplane, Fourth of July, the Dactyls

Like I said, there was a lot of stuff I listened to that I liked but didn't mention because I forgot or just didn't feel like writing. Let me know what you think.

Cyclone basketball

2010-12-11T00:56:00.004-06:00

I'll give a quick shoutout to the Iowa State basketball team after their 75-72 road win over Iowa tonight. I ended up watching all but the first 10 minutes of the game which was the first time I'd seen them play this year. I didn't recognize half of the players and they looked absolutely brutal at times (more like a junior high team sometimes) but they actually made some plays and won the game to go to 8-2 on the year. The Big 12 season is going to be rough but I like the style of basketball they play and they play hard even though they have a ton of holes.

It would be easy to pick on all of the things that left me shaking my head in disgust but I had already decided this was essentially a throwaway season with the way things shook out and, yet, here they are blowing out the teams they should and keeping things close in the ones they've lost.

And as a sidenote the Register ran a single quote for each game of the series since 1984. There were some funny ones in there and I enjoyed thinking back to all of the games I watched. Unfortunately they missed one of the best when Eustachy, speaking of Carver, said something like, "God, I hate this place. I just want to throw up." So, true. It's such a worthless basketball venue yet ISU seems to struggle there in recent years. I laughed when there was actually discussion on whether Iowa's students would show up because they weren't giving them free pizza this year.

Kinda spot on

2010-12-09T11:42:00.003-06:00

Maureen Dowd being all Maureen Dowd-y on Palin's hunting trip and Obama.

The caribou that waited too pliantly in the cross hairs is doomed to become stew for Palin and an allegory for politics. The elegant animal standing above the fray, dithering rather than charging at his foes or outmaneuvering them, is Obambi. Even with a rifle aimed at him, he’s trying to be the most reasonable mammal in the scene, mammalian bipartisan, and rise above what he sees as empty distinctions between the species so that we can all unite at a higher level of being.

So, I watched the clip of her big hunt and it really is pretty ridiculous. She's totally freaking out and her dad is yelling at her. Meanwhile, the caribou they show is just standing there while she blasts shot after shot at it. Then she's talking a big game about how you have to field dress the dear and pack it out of there. Yeah, right. I liked how they didn't actually show her doing anything other than trying to decide which knife to use.

But, yeah, dude, Obama! They're trying to (figuratively) kill you. Do something!

MLitB Sports Exclusive

2010-12-08T18:24:00.002-06:00

I have exclusive video of Chiefs' QB Matt Cassel's emergency appendectomy today.
Thank you, knife.

This is all pretty typical Chiefs. Hey, why not have some bizarre injury right at the most crucial point in the season? However, if we really want to go old-school KC we need Brodie Croyle to come in and lead to team to a few victories. In the mean-time the local media can go nuts debating whether you go back to Cassel or stick with the hot hand. Inevitably whatever choice Haley makes in that situation will blow up in his face in the playoffs leading him to lose his job within 2 years. See Bono/Gannon '97 and Green/Huard '06 for reference.

Extraordinarily tender and extremely mild

2010-12-08T17:28:00.000-06:00

Andrew W.K. covers "Silent Night"

eh...

2010-12-07T15:41:00.005-06:00

Hey, Obama's awesome "compromise" on wage freezes gets him another awesome compromise...tax cuts for everybody! Whew! I was worried that Wall Street was going to have to pay their bonuses early this year. The rest of you get a subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club. That's the gift that keeps on giving throughout the entire year, Clark.

Even conservative Democrat Mary Landrieu called the plan "almost morally corrupt" and this:

"It's what I'm calling the Obama-McConnell plan. We're going to borrow $46 billion from the poor, from the middle class, from businesses of all sizes basically to give a tax cut to families in America today, that despite the recession, are making over a million dollars. I mean, this is unprecedented. Unprecedented. I want to repeat that," she said. Landrieu added, however, that she had yet to make a decision on the final package and was speaking strictly about the extension of tax cuts for the wealthy.

I'm really at a loss for what exactly Obama thinks he's doing here. Yeah, it makes sense for some tax cuts for those that are struggling but that's not the rich and you know that people are going to be whining about the deficit and the spending and all that crap which will inevitably mean cutting programs that help the poor, etc. It's frustrating that to read stuff like this:

“Take a tally, look at what I promised during the campaign,” Mr. Obama said, displaying a rare flash of emotion as he wound up the question-and-answer session. “There’s not a single thing that I have said that I would do that I have not done or tried to do. And if I haven’t gotten it done yet, I’m still trying.”

The only time he shows any emotion seems to be whenever he's talking about how those on the left don't appreciate him enough.

Anyway, I get that I'm probably further to the left than any president that will be elected in my lifetime but it's frustrating when we abandon certain principles without a fight and especially when we do so on issues that are actually very popular among the general public. Moving on.

The news out of NASA about the bacteria allegedly surviving on arsenate and not phosphate sounded cool but the claims (mostly by the media but also by the scientists) are pretty wildly overstated. The always excellent Carl Zimmer lays out the major problems.

I read a story about more people going back to rabbit ears for their TV with some interest. This is what we've been doing and once in a while we'll have problems with our reception (our setup consists of a digital converter box and coat hangers bolted down to a piece of wood...seriously) but overall it works pretty well. With ESPN3, Hulu, Netflix (DVDs and streaming) there isn't much that we miss out on watching that we're interested in. Sometimes it's a pain in the ass missing something or having to catch up on a series several months later but when compared to sending $60 a month to a shitty cable company monopoly it seems to be worth it.

Finally, whether you agree with WikiLeaks or not (and I can understand arguments against them) I think it's important to know and consider what they are trying to accomplish. In a democracy our governments should be open to the people and if our current (or future) wars are based on lies these secrets should be exposed. I would prefer if we consider those issues rather than screaming that these people should be executed. Here's an Australian op-ed written by Julian Assange that's worth reading.

World Cup fever

2010-12-01T22:32:00.001-06:00

In case you hadn't been following things FIFA will announce the 2018 and 2022 World Cup sites on Thursday morning. Most of you will read this after the announcement but I'll go ahead and present the pros and cons of all bidders.

2018
England
The birthplace of the sport and spiritual home of hooligans everywhere. Hasn't hosted since 1966 which is also the last time they won. The pressure on their team would be beyond anything we could imagine and a loss would crush them beyond belief. That's almost a good enough reason to give it to them right there. Unfortunately the bid lost points when the English media began to expose the rampant corruption present in this process. Apparently pointing out that FIFA is a blatantly corrupt organization loses you points with that same blatantly corrupt organization. The England bid committee knows this obviously and responded by calling the reports "unpatriotic." Ah, I see.

Russia
Possibly the co-favorite with England but Putin decided not to travel and is already decrying the process as an "unfair competition." Translation: England is doing a better job bribing than we are. What? You're Russia! Have one of your gajillionaire oligarchs step up and win this thing.

Portugal/Spain
This seems like it would make a lot of sense but I feel like the residents of these countries were too busy relaxing to actually put a bid together. I feel a special kinship with Portugal ever since the Kansas City Wizards became Sporting Kansas City in an attempt to cash in on the lucrative Sporting Lisbon brand. Or something.

Belgium/Netherlands
Possibly not a real bid.

2022
United States
Come on, how do you not give it to the USA? We have an embarrassing assortment of bomb-ass stadiums already built, we have sponsors lined up to throw money at this thing, every country present already has a built-in fan base...what's not to like? OK, so the sport still ranks 5th or so on the common fans interest index but it really is making progress and a 12 build-up to a World Cup would probably lead to the biggest sporting event ever to happen to this country. If I remember right the '94 Cup still has the highest attendance numbers and is one of the most profitable. Come on, FIFA, CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME...CREAM! GET THE MONEY DOLLAR DOLLAR BILL YA'LL!

Qater
Hey, 110 degrees Fahrenheit and a country-wide ban on alcohol? How have you not hosted a tournament before this? Yeah, I get that they love to throw money around like it's sand in that country but, really? Qater? Apparently their plan is to build the stadiums (with AC) then dismantle them and move them to poor countries when they're done. Why give in this? Oh, right, because they've already been caught trying to trade votes and they have enough money to buy the rest.

Australia
They give less of a shit about soccer than the US does but they've never had a Cup in that area. Plus, the US and Europe get to watch all of the matches at ridiculous times.

Japan
Didn't we just do this?

South Korea
See Japan with the bonus of North Korean artillery attacks.

So, there you go. My money is on the favorites England and the USA but if I had to pick an upset it would be Russia followed closely by Qater.

Twofer Tuesday

2010-11-30T19:38:00.002-06:00

OK, this video might was too ridiculous to pass up. I used up all of my real outrage below so I'll just generally mock this.
Wow, mixed message much?

"You're not going to hook up before you're married?"
"Nope."
"For real?"
"Nope. Oh, except for when I actually already did and got knocked up. But that was really hard and had nothing to do with me becoming a celebrity on all of these popular TV shows and never actually taking care of my kid."

"Hey, kids, don't have sex!"
"But if you do have lots of it!"
"But only with a condom!"
"Because you'll need it with all the anonymous partners you meet in clubs!"

"Here, B Palin, have a condom."
"No, I don't need it because I don't have sex. Even though I already did have sex and got pregnant. Good girls don't need condoms because they made a virginity pledge and those are for life or something so there's no reason why they would ever need a condom around."

Also, doesn't Candie's make clothes for strippers?

Obama craps on supporters in attempt to impress wingnuts

2010-11-30T18:13:00.004-06:00

I get a lot of spam email from Obama and the Organizing for America people asking me to do this or that or donate, as I'm sure a lot of you do as well. Most of the time I skim it to see what they're saying but the one I found in my inbox today really rubbed me the wrong way. It began with Obama's announcement that he was freezing the pay of nearly all non-military federal government employees for two years in an effort to cut the deficit.

There are lots of reasons why this is a horribly dumb idea and I could write snarky rhetorical questions until my fingers fall off but I don't have time to properly vent so we'll summarize:
1. In the end it means nothing. It's a drop in the bucket (something like 0.05% of federal spending).

2. Economically it's the exact opposite of what they should be (and claim to be) doing...creating jobs and consumer spending. Claiming that governments need to cinch their belts just like families do is a nice soundbite but horrible economic policy. Totally different ballgames.

3. Politically it's dumb. Once again, Obama is negotiating against himself before the negotiations actually begin. Dude, please stop. Every time you offer your hand in good faith they stab you with a fork. It's not happening. If you had to do this why not as part of some deal where the tax cuts for the richest of the rich are allowed to expire or unemployment benefits are extended? At least we would have something to show for it.

4. You're shitting on the people that supported you. Federal employees are typically Democratic voters because usually Democrats don't try to pull shit like this. Not to mention the unions. The number of Democratic votes in the 2010 election was pretty close to the same as it was in 2006 but huge numbers of people that voted for you in 2008 stayed home. Are they going to be there in 2012? Maybe address a few more of their concerns.

5. Don't send your supporters bullshit emails asking them to carry your water on crap like this.

A decade of irresponsible spending led to a projected $1.3 trillion deficit that President Obama inherited upon taking office -- putting America on an unsustainable fiscal course.

From Day One, this administration's top focus has been growing the economy and putting Americans back to work -- and that will never change.

The economy is growing again, yet all across America families and businesses have been tightening their belts. The President knows their government must do the same.

Yesterday, he announced a proposal to freeze pay for non-military federal employees for two years -- a plan that will lead to $60 billion in savings over 10 years. It's one of many tough choices the President has made to cut costs in the upcoming budget to begin to put our nation's fiscal house in order. And it follows directly from this administration's dedication to stretching federal dollars and reining in the long-term deficit.

Now, if you listen to some talk radio hosts or a few of the talking heads on cable news, you'll hear a very different assessment of our fiscal policies. These voices ignore the irresponsibility of the past while pinning the blame for "reckless spending" solely on this administration. It would make a good fairy tale if it weren't so dangerously untrue.

But these voices -- as loud as they are -- are spreading bunk. Cutting costs and spending responsibly has been a cornerstone of this administration's record. And we need your help to get the truth out there.

I'm supposed to write a letter to editor talking about what a great move this is? Hell no.

No shit they're attacking you with lies...IT'S WHAT THEY DO! They're going to do it if you freeze everybody salaries or whether you don't. You know it's not actually having any real effect on the deficit and certainly not compared to the impact of extending tax cuts for the rich or continuing to send cargo planes of cash over to Iraq and Afghanistan. So, why do it? How come middle-class federal employees have to "tighten their belts" while asking the rich to make some sort of sacrifice is off-limits.

The 3rd quarter of this year just happened to be Corporate America's most profitable quarter ever. Ever! Yet, the corporate taxes are killing our ability to compete or something. Wall Street bankers are deciding it's ok to start "swaggering" again (which apparently means renting dwarfs for bachelor parties?) but, dammit, those struggling rich people need to be able to spend more and with those progressive income tax rates who even wants to make money any more? Won't anyone think of the trickle-down effects for the dwarves???

Anyway, no, Obama, I won't be writing any letters celebrating your commitment to fiscal responsibility as long as that commitment only asks struggling working (and currently non-working) class people to sacrifice and not those that can actually afford it.

Scratch another one off the Bucket List

2010-11-07T01:11:00.002-05:00

I think I'm destined to see Iowa State lose football games in every single absolutely gut-wrenching way possible. Having already seen them lose on a blocked PAT I thought we had that one taken care of but missing on a fake PAT in overtime...now THAT'S new. It's nice that after all these years they're still finding new ways to crush my soul.

As far as the call? I like going for it there. The defense looked gassed and as the underdog I think you're better off shortening the game as much as you can. I'm not crazy about asking your kick holder to make the biggest throw of the game in ridiculous wind. The guy was wide open and he couldn't make the throw. Would they have been better off lining up for one play? Questionable but at least you can go through Arnaud or to Robinson then. Maybe they should have just kicked and hoped for another stop. After hearing people bitch for years about McCarney playing "not to lose" (much of it justified) I don't want to hear crying about a coach that will try to win there.

What sucks the most is that that was pretty much the last chance ever for ISU to beat Nebraska. Ugh. Great, amazing, awesome effort by the team but it's frustrating that I keep thinking about the overthrow against K-State and the underthrow against Nebraska. Much like the destinies of the '04 and '05 teams were changed by missed kicks this season may turn on missed throws.

I watched the end of the game in the Bill Snyder Family Stadium (possibly one of the dumbest names ever) parking lot while I caught much of the rest on the big screen and the radio. I was there as a guest of my uncle to see K-State-Texas which was a lot of fun. K-State just absolutely owns Texas. 3 straight wins and a total beatdown today. At one point it was 31-0 and K-State had 0 passing yards! 0 passing yards! For the day they were 2-4 with 9 yards. Just absurd.

But, yeah, Texas is not good. Their QB is brutal (5 picks but 2, maybe 3 were tipped balls) and the team doesn't really look like they give a shit at this point. Kind of not sad at all for me to see.

Win or lose, Nebraska still sucks

2010-11-06T09:08:00.004-05:00

Today is most likely the last Iowa State-Nebraska football game for a long time, if not ever which is too bad. Sure, they may be self-congratulating pompous assholes but every conference needs a villain and they were a great one. Mostly due to the self-proclaimed "greatest fans in college football" who are more than a little too wrapped up in their football team and will turn on them in an instant ("hey, that 20 year-old kid cost us a football game. wanna go heckle him as he walks out to his car?). Yeah, it's easy to applaud the other team when you're beating them 70-3...assholes. And for a fan base that is supposedly "so knowledgeable" don't they seem to boo, like, every single call that goes against them?

This game always seemed to be played on one of those dreary, just-starting-to-get-cold fall days in Ames and I seemed to spend most of them with my shirt off and some timely slogan written on my chest in magic marker. Ah, the memories. Number one stunnas. Crowd-surfing after touchdowns. The guy who set up a stage in the tailgating lot and performed his original song with a repeating chorus of "fuck Nebraska." Frank Solich is a might midget. Rushing the field in '04. Watching the 2nd half of last year's win with my bro-in-law and cackling with every recap of the numerous turnovers and every stunned fan they showed. For my money there isn't a better "stunned fan" shot than the Huskers. They usually have someone crying or some corn fed loser over reacting.

As much as I hate them I love to hate them even more. The fact that they are coached by Bo Pelini, a man that is almost a caricature of every asshole football coach to ever walk the sidelines, makes it that much easier. So, farewell, cornholers. I have to admit I'll miss having you jerks around.

Who is Randy Moss?

2010-11-05T12:40:00.002-05:00

I'm not always sure how I feel about the FreeDarko style of sportswriting that tries to capture the essence of a player or sport through deeply thought out analogies to jazz or politics or art cinema or some other high brow pursuit. On the one hand, it's kind of awesome but on the other hand, you just spent hours writing that, let's just watch some football. But, yeah, who am I kidding? I love this over-analyzation shit.

Anyway, here's a long piece that manages to compare the game of football to socialism and Randy Moss to Ayn Rand/John Galt fetishists. Boom, roasted.

Return of the Shrub

2010-11-03T11:58:00.002-05:00

It appears that old George Bush, Jr. is prepared to emerge from whatever basement he's been drinking himself into oblivion for the last 2 years, err, eating pretzels but definitely not drinking. Eating pretzels? Nah, too chokey. Staring into space? Sure, we'll go with that.

Anyway, he first appeared at the World Series hamming it up with the team he used to own. In some ways it was a hopeful metaphor: The team that he ran into the ground was finally emerging from the shadow of his leadership to compete for a championship. It only took just slightly more than a decade for them to recover but I'm not sure how long that translates in Nation Years. Apparently, the voters of this country feel that 2 years of Democratic control was enough for them to fix it and have now chosen to give the Republicans another shot. Hey, anytime you have a chance to double-down on a collection of policies that have nearly ruined the country you have to do it, right?

So, apparently Bush has furrowed his brow and attempted a little introspection for the first time in his life in order to come up with a book about his presidency. What's that saying about a thousand chimps at a thousand typewriters? Inevitably this means we're going to see his smirking face everywhere we turn for the next few months. If we learned anything from the Bush years (and clearly most of the country didn't) it's that if you put this guy in front of a camera or pen and paper he's going to say something a) moronic, b) outrageously offensive, c) both. The gaffe tour is already beginning as news leaked of what he considers the worst moment of his presidency. September 11? You kidding me? Gold mine. Realizing he started a war based on fraudulent and faulty intelligence? Of course not. Watching New Orleans drown? Getting closer. It was when Kanye said he didn't care about black people.

“He called me a racist,” Bush tells Lauer. “And I didn’t appreciate it then. I don’t appreciate it now. It’s one thing to say, ‘I don’t appreciate the way he’s handled his business.’ It’s another thing to say, ‘This man’s a racist.’ I resent it, it’s not true.”

Lauer quotes from Bush’s new book: “Five years later I can barely write those words without feeling disgust.” Lauer adds, “You go on: ‘I faced a lot of criticism as president. I didn’t like hearing people claim that I lied about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction or cut taxes to benefit the rich. But the suggestion that I was racist because of the response to Katrina represented an all-time low.’

President Bush responds: “Yeah. I still feel that way as you read those words. I felt ‘em when I heard ‘em, felt ‘em when I wrote ‘em, and I felt ‘em when I’m listening to ‘em.

Lauer: “You say you told Laura at the time it was the worst moment of your presidency?”

Bush: “Yes. My record was strong, I felt, when it came to race relations and giving people a chance. And it was a disgusting moment.”

Lauer: “I wonder if some people are going to read that, now that you’ve written it, and they might give you some heat for that. And the reason is this — “

Bush [interrupting]: “Don’t care.”

Lauer: “Well, here’s the reason. You’re not saying that the worst moment in your presidency was watching the misery in Louisiana. You’re saying it was when someone insulted you because of that.”

Bush: “No, and I also make it clear that the misery in Louisiana affected me deeply as well. There’s a lot of tough moments in the book. And it was a disgusting moment, pure and simple.”

Did you catch that? All of his worst moments were about people criticizing him!!!! It's all about him! Not about all the shitty stuff that he did...just that people called him out on it! This man is insane, scary, pathological, clueless, etc.

But, seriously, the line about how he didn't like it when people said he cut taxes to benefit the rich? That's satire, right? I mean, he's not that clueless. Err...

Anyway, I'm going to try to avoid this asshole as much as I can but I know he's going to keep popping up with shit like this that sends me over the edge. But, hey, let's elect even crazier and dumber Republicans because that'll fix this mess that was entirely Obama's fault!

On a related note here is a great, short piece on the Teabagger's anger showing up now.

Worst. Opening. Ever.

2010-11-02T08:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I think that went pretty well.

The Rehabilitation of LeBron

2010-10-25T18:44:00.003-05:00

It begins.

Nike broke out the big guns in this inevitable 90 second ad and even included a wink to Chuck and his notorious Nike commercial from years ago. Gotta admit it's kind of a funny commercial and has a point that he can do what he wants even if whatever that is is probably warped by his massive ego and the hero worship that built it. It's not exactly going out on a limb to predict that the Heat and LeBron are going to be in Beast Mode this season and I'm kind of excited to see it in a way I haven't been excited about the NBA in a long time...or ever? On the eve of the new season "The Decision" seems like it happened ages ago. Sorry, Cleveland, sucks for you but we're moving on.

Full disclosure: I drafted LeBron #3 overall in the 2010 "Pull Your Socks Up" Fantasy NBA Draft yesterday and we're planning on crushing everything in our path this season.

Are you not entertained?

2010-10-24T10:58:00.003-05:00

Paul Rhoads celebrating with the fans after knocking off Texas, ISU's first win against the Longhorns ever, first win against a ranked team since 2005, and first road win against a ranked team since 1990! When you consider that the team had lost their last two games by a combined score of 120-27 and this borders on miraculous. Except, not really.

The ESPN Big 12 blog captured part of why Rhoads is such a great fit for ISU with this quote:

"When you’re sitting here on a Sunday night like I was hours ago and you’re looking into the eyes and faces and body language of 105 guys that are trying to do what you ask them to do, but not being met with a lot of success right now, you’re challenged as a leader," Rhoads said on Monday. "You’re challenged to motivate, you’re challenged to teach, but that’s what I was hired to do."

Apparently he found a way to motivate the team which means they are still buying in and working hard. It says a lot about his passion that national media members were already looking forward to the postgame locker room video which cyclones.com helpfully provided. It's kind of interesting that Chizik, with his 5-19 record at Iowa State, is about to take his team to #1 in the BCS rankings. It's definitely not easy to win at ISU and I think it takes a certain mindset and awareness of the challenges you'll face but Rhoads seems to have it.

But, the bottom line for today is that after a horrifying offseason that had ISU athletics staring into an abyss the Cyclones can still manage to bite the hand that threw them the life preserver.

A bit of election stuff

2010-10-21T22:49:00.002-05:00

I guess it takes an election to get me out of blog hibernation but I thought this was an interesting and insightful commentary on Kansas politics in the NY Times. Brownback as governor scares the shit out me because he's basically running on a "slash the budget" agenda when there's nothing but bone left to slash. Then there's the whole uber-conservative Christian thing. It feels like we've at least had a Democratic governor to keep their thumb in the dike holding back the flood of crazy aching to break through but with this huge wave barreling towards us I'm worried there's not going to be anyone left standing. My only hope is that, as the article suggests, it might give some of the moderate Republicans a nudge from a party that consists of a large collection of activists that openly loathe them for ideological impurities.

Many of the political ads have me shaking my head but one I saw tonight really made me cringe. Steve Six is a Democrat and the current Attorney General of the state. The ad criticized him for standing up against the health care bill that Obama was "forcing upon us." Six made the decision that he wasn't going to waste the state's nonexistant money by joining a doomed lawsuit fighting for the state's right to prevent its citizens from gaining the benefits included in the new health care law. Of course it's the only logical decision when one looks at it objectively but the ad criticized him for putting his partisan beliefs ahead of the people. Ugh. Bizarro World.

Hmm, with a batshit crazy governor and legislature teamed up I might have to start blogging again. I felt bad when I made a joke about the miners being trapped underground for so long and then they were up before I managed to write more than a post or two...

I'mma let you finish but this is one of the best videos of all-time

2010-08-30T17:59:00.003-05:00

In fact, it's so far away from any other video I've ever seen I'm not sure you could call it a video. It's what they say is an interpretation of "We Used to Wait" by the Arcade Fire. I don't want to give too much away but you put in your childhood address in and it creates a customized video for you that you later get to customize even more with lots of browser windows opening and closing. From what I read this was built using HTML5 and some other stuff. It seems like it only works in Google Chrome but it's very impressive to me (a really awful former programmer).

True and Valient like the Bad Romance

2010-08-30T16:48:00.002-05:00

See more funny videos and Music Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Bad Romance exactly as Lady Gaga hoped it might one day be played...on the Bells of Iowa State. The beginning is kind of brutal but they really get it going during the chorus.
Got this via friend and fellow alum, Nkem.

"Does anyone know who U2 is?"

2010-08-24T17:04:00.005-05:00

Iowa State sent me 3 or 4 emails today in an attempt to keep me connected to the University and what they're doing in the hopes that I'll donate part of my fat (and non-existent) engineering salary to them. Sometimes there are a few interesting links and today I was anxiously reading through the article explaining how the value of my undergrad degree has diminished as the University plunged a full two spots in the US News and World Report rankings. Choke! How can anyone take us seriously now that we somehow have come up short in whatever arbitrary statistics they're using to judge universities this year? Don't we have people working on how to game the system to our advantage? Is there an online voting portion we could rig?

Anyway, that wasn't what was interesting. What was interesting was the link I saw to this article on thescientist.com profiling an ISU mechanical engineering professor who has developed a camera system that can collect and reconstruct high resolution 3D data in real-time. Apparently this could be really beneficial in biomedical fields and boring stuff like that, but, it can also be used for totally rad stuff like Radiohead music videos and U2 concerts!

Aside from the cool technology I really enjoyed his quote about the Radiohead video:

"We couldn't understand why they wanted to mess with our system," he says. But he was pleasantly surprised by the final product. "We are engineers," he adds. "We have no idea how art works."

Too perfect.

Good news bad news

2010-08-22T19:56:00.004-05:00

The good news is 33 miners in Chile are still alive after being trapped and missing for 17 days. The bad news is it's going to take four more months to get them out!

So, what do you do when you're stuck underground for four months? According to the article they rigged up some lights so I suppose that might help a little bit but I can't help but think of a Chilean woman sitting down with her kids in a few months. "The good news is your daddy's home. The bad news is he's a mole person now."

While I was reading that story I noticed another one off to the side with the title, "Iran unveils long-distance bomber drone that aims to deliver peace and friendship." "Wow! That's awesome," I thought. "They're going to deliver peace and friendship from long-distance? This is a welcome change." Then I read the article and it turns out it's actually "an ambassador of death" with very-limited peace and friendship delivery capabilities. Talk about your all-time misleading headlines.

Hey, now that we've hung that "Mission Accomplished II: Electric Boogaloo" banner in Iraq we've got a slot open for another war, right? I mean, those 50,000 soldiers still hanging out there can't have that much advising to do...

Breaking: Lots of dumb people live in America

2010-08-20T20:01:00.003-05:00

While I've been up to my balls in literature about Parkinson's disease I do still manage to stick my head up and take a glance at the outside world once in a while. Much like the groundhog I see my shadow and it's 6 more weeks of studying.

Today I noticed there's been some muttering about a new poll showing that around 24% or so of Americans think Obama is a Muslim. No problem, we'll just ban him from Ground Zero and be on our way. Oh, he's not actually a Muslim?

Not surprisingly the news media folks like to ask the question, "what does it all mean, Basil?" To me, it doesn't mean much. Bush bottomed out at around 30% approval rating, correct? So, that, right there, provides a baseline of people ignorant or stubborn enough to ignore 8 years worth of evidence that this man was a complete disaster as our president. When you look at it in those terms Obama is doing pretty good, right? 24% can't name the country the United States fought for its independence. 18% think the sun revolves around the Earth. 48% of Americans think God created humans exactly how we are within the last 10,000 years!

Clearly stupid people are everywhere and clearly a minority of people in this country will never accept Obama as president. Why, then, do we need endless headlines linking "Obama" and "Muslim" just because we've, once again, proved that there are lots of dumb people out there?

I hate to end on a negative note (not true) but here's a funny satire piece, "20% of Americans Think Obama is a Talking Car"

And Tom Logan, an electrician from Pittsburgh, added: "He sleeps in a garage and his full name is Barack Mitsubishi Obama."

A White House spokesman said last night: "The president has been in cars. Many of his relatives and even some of his friends can drive cars. The president actually quite likes cars.

"But he's not a car."

Helen Archer, an estate agent from Bloomington, Indiana, said: "I wouldn't necessarily choose a car as president, but if he is a car then I'd certainly prefer him to be one that can talk.

"The last thing this country needs right now is one of those silent, menacing cars like Christine or Herbie."

Terror Babies!!!

2010-08-14T09:44:00.002-05:00

Representative Louie Gohmert and Anderson Cooper having a spirited conversation about the latest threat to our great nation...TERROR BABIES!

It's a great video if you enjoy clueless Republicans trying to gin up some baseless fears by ranting about God knows what. Why does Anderson keep attacking the messenger here?!? WHERE ARE THE TERROR BABIES, ANDERSON???

Exits

2010-08-10T19:23:00.003-05:00

Some people know how to make a great exit while others can't ever quite figure them out.

The flight attendant who said "To the passenger who just called me a motherfucker, fuck you. I've been in this business 28 years, and I've had it" before grabbing a beer and exiting down the emergency slide may have had one of the best exits of all-time.

Then there's anybody even remotely involved in the Sarah Palin soap opera. Levi and Bristol back together? Or not? What will Sarah think? Then there's Sarah and crew stopping to argue with an Alaskan couple who hung a "Worst Governor Ever" sign on their building. Palin told the couple she quit being governor so she could fight for free speech which is hilarious considering her security tore down the banner after she left. And finally, Levi says he's going to run for his mom-in-law's old job as mayor of Wasilla. The current mayor had some advice: "I think it would be wise for him to get a high school diploma and keep his clothes on."

One last Palin-related note: the testimony of the 4Chan founder in the email hacking case is kind of amusing.

And the term "rickroll" you said it tries to make people go to a site where they think it is going to be one thing but it is a video of Rick Astley, is that right?
Yes.
He was some kind of singer?
Yes.
It's a joke?
Yes.

Ohhh, jokes. I get jokes.

White House on the attack

2010-08-10T07:40:00.003-05:00

Finally, the White House is showing some fire and going on the offensive against their critics. Yeah, take that...liberals? I wrote most of this post this morning and didn't get it posted until later but this is about as ridiculous as it gets.

The White House is simmering with anger at criticism from liberals who say President Obama is more concerned with deal-making than ideological purity.

During an interview with The Hill in his West Wing office, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs blasted liberal naysayers, whom he said would never regard anything the president did as good enough.

“I hear these people saying he’s like George Bush. Those people ought to be drug tested,” Gibbs said. “I mean, it’s crazy.”

The press secretary dismissed the “professional left” in terms very similar to those used by their opponents on the ideological right, saying, “They will be satisfied when we have Canadian healthcare and we’ve eliminated the Pentagon. That’s not reality.”

Of those who complain that Obama caved to centrists on issues such as healthcare reform, Gibbs said: “They wouldn’t be satisfied if Dennis Kucinich was president.”

Yes, anyone that criticizes from the left is just a crazy drugged-out liberal socialist hippie. This is the kind of thing that usually comes from the Limbaugh's of the world but way too often comes from Democratic politicians as well. I won't argue that we could take a lot from the Canadian health care system but I'd be happy if they were actually interested in fighting for some of it. The fact that they use it as an example of some pie in the sky liberal fantasy says a lot about where they were on the issue. Then there's the "eliminate the Pentagon" BS which typically refers to anyone who dares question the wisdom of any of our current wars or the continuation of many of the worst Bush policies on detainees.

Although maybe he's not talking about me?

Gibbs said the professional left is not representative of the progressives who organized, campaigned, raised money and ultimately voted for Obama.

Progressives, Gibbs said, are the liberals outside of Washington “in America,” and they are grateful for what Obama has accomplished in a shattered economy with uniform Republican opposition and a short amount of time.

Jesus, can we hit any more conservative talking points? Real Americans like the president, what's wrong with the rest of you assholes?! Wait, I thought the Teabaggers were the Real Americans. Where are the Fake Americans?

Larry Berman, an expert on the presidency and a political science professor at the University of California-Davis, said he has been surprised that liberals aren’t more cognizant of the pragmatism Obama has had to employ to pass landmark reforms.

“The irony, of course, is that Gibbs’s frustration reflects the fact that the conservative opposition has been so effective at undermining the president’s popular approval,” Berman said.

“And from Gibbs’s perspective, and the White House perspective, they ought to be able to catch a break from people who, in their view, should be grateful and appreciative.”

I think a lot of the problem stems from this supposed "pragmatism" and the conservative opposition to anything Obama has tried to do. The problem isn't the pragmatism it's that he doesn't really get anything in return for the compromises. What's pragmatic about stating up front what you're willing to give up when it doesn't get you any Republican votes in the end? If Democrats are going to pass everything on their own anyway we may as well get a better bill or at least negotiate from a position of strength.

Anyway, I get that they would be frustrated at some of the criticism from the left but that's kind of how it works when a group of people does so much to elect you. Obama claimed it was up to us to "hold him accountable" but now he's not so much interested in any of that stuff. Apparently it's some sort of brilliant strategy to go after the people you're hoping will show up in the November elections instead of the ones claiming you're a Kenyan socialist.

1 Strike

2010-07-31T01:27:00.003-05:00

One of the quirks I like about baseball is how you can be one pitch away from ending an inning or a game but missing that pitch can mean starting all over with a new batter or extra innings. It's kind of like getting to a match-point in tennis. You're right there but if you don't get it you could have a lot more work to do.

Anyway, there were two examples of that tonight. The first was the Cubs, who were trailing the Rockies 5-2 in the 8th inning with 2 outs and 2 strikes. One good pitch and they have one inning to pick up those three runs. Unfortunately, they missed that pitch which led to the Rockies ripping off a stunning 11 straight hits and a 12 run inning. Whoops.

Then there was the much-maligned Royal, Alex Gordon. Alex was billed as "The Next George Brett" from the moment he was drafted and has always struggled to live up to those crushing expectations. He's just back from his latest stint in AAA so he could learn to play in the outfield instead of 3rd. Why does that make any sense at all? You tell me. There was a vintage "Royals Moment" the other day when their outfield consisted of a former 3rd baseman (Gordon), a former pitcher (Ankiel), and a fairly useless utility player (Bloomquist). Royals Fever...Catch It!

So, Gordon is up at the plate, bottom of the 9th, 2 men on, down by 1, 2 strikes, 2 out and he jacks a walk-off homer. One nice moment in what has probably been a pretty crappy season. It was the type of moment people like to dream will reinvigorate his career but, well, it's the Royals so let's just enjoy it for what it is.

Small town scandal!

2010-07-28T22:24:00.003-05:00

Had to pass along this amusing scandal from Tonganoxie, KS, just down the road from Lawrence. It involves a mayor, pornographic emails, sibling conspiracies, Bingo halls, a touch of racism, and a last-minute conversion to Christianity. I'd also recommend watching the video for the first scene of the mayor inside of City Hall to give you an idea of the class of this whole operation. In my personal opinion if you're going to hire Larry Flynt to be your mayor you should learn to expect the occasional smut. Am I wrong?

Sadly, the mayor resigned today.

We can't stop here. This is Bat Country

2010-07-24T11:32:00.005-05:00

Well, it's primary election season in Kansas which is always an entertaining moment to take a peak into the batshit craziness of the Republican Party...if you dare. Sadly, many of the important races are still decided in the Republican primary but it's tough to know who to root for. Usually the race is between two archetypal candidates. The first is "The Moderate", who still retains some of the "common sense midwestern values" (or whatever vague generality they use in their commercials). This candidate will almost always cruise to victory in the general election. The second candidate is "The Uber-Conservative." You'll find them at the Tea Party rallies ranting about how The Moderate wants to let illegal immigrants abort your baby then tax all of your money away to fund ACORN's secret plot to install Kenyan presidents along with simultaneously placing the country under sharia law and embracing "San Francisco values." The Moderate responds by claiming they've always loved the Tea Party and they really do dislike brown people more than the other guy and he's running a negative, disrespectful campaign. You think I'm exaggerating but you haven't seen Jerry Moran vs. Todd Tiahrt for Senate. The fact that one of these ass clowns will replace Sam Brownback who will slide into the Governor's Mansion makes my skin crawl. Come home, Kathleen Sebelius!

At first glance you'd think I'd rather have the Moderate win but, despite their reputation, this candidate is usually only slightly less crazy than the Uber-Conservative and will cruise to victory. The Uber-conservative can be counted on to say something horrifying enough that the middle-of-the-road voters recoil in disgust and vote for a moderate Democrat. I'm not sure I see a strong enough candidate to knock off either one of them so...go Moran, I guess?

The congressional race to replace Moran and Secretary of State race have taken things to a new level of craziness as we debate the issues that really matter to Kansans. How to fund education? Investing in coal versus wind power? Hell no! We wanna know if Obama is a damn Kenyan!

First up is the front-runner for the Republican nomination in the 1st, Tracey Mann. He had garnered the endorsement of the two largest newspapers in the district and was surging in the polls before he went on the radio and said "I think the president of the United States needs to come forth with his papers and show everyone that he's an American citizen and put this issue to bed once and for all." This led to both newspapers retracting their endorsements which "mystified" the campaign who claimed it was all a big misunderstanding!

"Tracey has seen sufficient evidence to prove Obama is a citizen," DeVantier said, explaining that Mann had seen that evidence some time ago, and not in the past few days. "He believed Obama was a citizen when he said that on the air."

Clearly! How could anyone get the idea that he might have any question about Obama's citizenship? It's not like he has a pattern of making statements like this. Oh...wait.

KSAL's Bryan Jennings, who asked the question, said he brought up the issue because Mann had questioned the president's citizenship at a June 21 candidate forum in Elkhart.

The Salina Journal obtained a copy of video from that forum, which shows Democratic candidate Alan Jilka answering first, saying he didn't think the question of Obama's citizenship merited the time it would take to respond.

Mann was next up, saying he disagreed with Jilka, and that "I would say that he should show his birth certificate to really resolve this thing one way or another."

The newspapers seemed to be caught off-guard by this whole thing:

Editor and publisher Tom Bell, who wrote the Journal's endorsement, said he, too, plans to withdraw his endorsement.

"I am pulling my endorsement and will have another editorial early next week," Bell said Thursday.

He said he will take another look at the five remaining Republican contenders.

If this is an important enough issue to merit that response, why didn't Bell ask Mann his opinion of Obama's citizenship status before making the endorsement?

"I never dreamed it was necessary to ask this of any of the candidates," Bell said. "I thought it was so far out of the mainstream."

Ha! I'm curious how long Bell has been in this state. Has he been paying attention?

Surely not to people like Kris Kobach, running for secretary of state, who has chosen to base his entire campaign on the complete non-issue of "voter fraud." He's a law professor and a big wheel in the anti-immigration crowd to the point that he was one of the main authors of the infamous Arizona law. He even brought in that asshole sadist sheriff from Arizona, who's always on Fox News, to campaign for him. Anyway, he also decided to jump into the birther "controversy" with both feet.

Sigh. Like I always say, it's all fun and games until the assholes are elected.

UPDATE: At least we aren't "debating" freaking secession yet like they are in Tennessee. Yikes. What has happened to us?

"I hope that the American people will go to the ballot box in 2010 and 2012 so that states are not forced to consider separation from this government," he told the Hotline.

Who the hell do they think voted for Obama? Maybe that's where Kobach gets his hard-on for voter fraud. Newsflash, dipshit: the people voting for Democrats are "American people" just like the ones voting for Republicans. Seriously, you don't actually have a God-given right to control the country.

The "King" Decrees

2010-07-09T00:49:00.003-05:00

Well, two-time MVP, zero-time champion LeBron James announced his decision to head to Dwyane Wade's Miami Heat. I kind of watched the special but it was muted for almost all of it. I did see the absolutely ludicrous "DecisionWater" ad and the even more ludicrous scene of announcing the decision in front of the Greenwich, Connecticut Boys and Girls Club. Possibly the richest and whitest in the country? They did manage to stock the cooler full of LeBron James' endorsed VitaminWater which was nice. Hopefully the kids got to drink some before it was loaded back into the props truck. The ESPN media seemed pretty disinterested in actually asking any follow-up questions when LeBron would say something about how much it hurt to leave Cleveland. Umm, so why did you leave? And why did you do it in an hour-long TV special? Nah, that's against the bottom line. We're still a legitimate journalistic enterprise that happens to have huge financial interests in creating storylines and broadcasting the games and athletes we cover. Don't screw that up by pissing off the bread winners.

The only benefit, in my eyes, is that the egotism and greed on display was so brazen that people had to pay attention. Will Leitch sums up the disgusted feelings something like this can evoke much, much more eloquently than I could have. We may scoff at a self-proclaimed "King" with no titles who deems it necessary to bring the spotlight to him without a second thought to how that might look to or affect the fans in his home state who have cheered and defended him for years but it's a product of a culture that has coddled and deified him for years. Cover of Sports Illustrated as a high schooler? He has more in common with a child star like Lindsey Lohan than some of the great athletes he's been compared to.

Oh well, here's to finding a new villain in the Big Three and the rest of the scrubs left to fill out the roster. Honestly, as a basketball move going to Chicago might have made more sense. That's a young team with some room to make a few more moves. Miami is so handicapped by three huge contracts that they're already shipping out Michael Beasley. (Yeah, T-Wolves! Kind of a no-risk move for them other than continuing to stack up players at the same position.) Miami looks good on paper but D Wade isn't going to give up control of the team easily and maybe LeBron is cool with that (which would be weird but maybe he's just not built to be The Man). No matter how you slice it Miami is just the boring, totally lame choice. There's no storyline other than following Wade and Bosh. Not exactly the stuff of legend.

Finally, how about Cleveland's owner unleashing this bomb? The complete child-like outrage is hilarious enough but the fact that he chose to go with Comic Sans font takes it up a notch. For a font that's been used inappropriately possibly more than any other this might be one of the all-time worst. Come on, how can I take you seriously when you're font is just so damn playful and obnoxious?

This is embarrassing

2010-07-06T21:23:00.003-05:00

LeBron Watch 2010! Or the only thing that could make me nostalgic for Favre Watches 2008 and 2009.
Apparently this has gotten so big that ESPN.com is citing an ESPN the Magazine report quoting anonymous sources saying that ESPN (the channel) is hosting a one-hour special so LeBron can announce what team he will sign with. ESPN is breaking news about it's own programming from anonymous sources! Yes, seriously.

LeBron James is planning to announce the team with which he will sign during a one-hour special on ESPN Thursday night, ESPN The Magazine's Chris Broussard has learned through independent sources.

ESPN would only confirm that active discussions for the special are ongoing. But sources tell Broussard that representatives for James contacted the network, proposing that James makes his announcement during a 9 p.m. ET special.

Based on the stuff I've seen real journalists do when it comes to the really important things like war and politics none of this surprises or really even bothers me at all other than to just roll my eyes. ESPN likes to try to maintain some sort of journalistic integrity but they're still relying on these athletes and broadcasting deals to bring in viewers. They benefit just as much as LeBron does by hyping this up into the big story of the summer. No doubt LeBron is a great talent but wasn't everybody just killing the guy for disappearing in a key playoff game? Has he won anything yet? Does he think he's really done anything to deserve a full hour of ego stroking before he announces what team will have the privilege of playing him tens of millions a year to play basketball?

Those sources said that James' representatives requested they be allowed to sell sponsorship for the one-hour special, with the proceeds going to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, and that ESPN agreed to the proposal but had not been told what James has decided.

Proceeds will also go to Nike, Vitamin Water, McDonald's, LeBron's ego, the Walt Disney Corporation, LeBron's entourage, LeBron's entourage's entourage, and Stephen A. Smith.

The article continues by talking about Chris Bosh and LeBron:

The Cavaliers are hopeful that will change, because in Cleveland, Bosh can meet two of his top priorities: playing with James, and getting a six-year, $125 million contract.

If Bosh joins a team without doing a sign-and-trade, he will be able to sign only a five-year deal worth $96 million. He is determined not to leave that $29 million on the table, sources told Broussard.

Atta boy, Chris. Not that I blame him at all (I mean, when billionaire owners are crying poverty in order to get more tax breaks there are certainly worse scumbags out there) but it all seems more than a little absurd. Although perhaps not nearly as absurd as the Timberwolves signing freaking Darko Milicic to a $20 million deal! Yeesh, that's a post for another time.

Weekday Sports!

2010-06-23T18:32:00.007-05:00

"The motherfuckers don't even work! That's why they're out at the fuckin' game! They ought to get a fuckin' job and find out what it's like to go out and earn a fuckin' living. Eighty-five percent of the fuckin' world is working. The other fifteen come out here."
Cubs Manager Lee Elia

Who doesn't love some weekday sports? A big weekday sporting event is a great excuse for the 85% of us who normally don't make it to Wrigley every day to take some time off of work and duck out to a local bar or at least gather around a TV or computer. Today was about as wild of a sports weekday as I've ever seen. Obviously most of it revolves around the United States salvaging their World Cup hopes with a 91st minute goal. However, there was also a big hockey trade, rumors of an even bigger basketball trade, and the Brian Bannister and the freaking Royals handed pitching phenom Stephen Strasburg his first loss ever, 1-0. Oh yeah, and throughout ALL of that was a freaking ten hour tennis match at Wimbledon! A match so ludicrous that it's 5th set alone (which still isn't even finished) would have crushed the previous record for longest professional match. Fantastic stuff.

First, we gotta talk some US soccer. The Cardiac Kids do it again. I watched the Slovenia match by myself in my buddy's Omaha, Nebraska apartment. That fact did nothing to dampen my enthusiasm as I did enough cursing and celebrating for an entire roomful of people. Their propensity to give up early goals bit them again. Onyewu may be built like a mountain but he moved like one in this match as he apparently has no concept of not allowing his man acres of space to set up a shot or find a teammate. Anyway, a great second half led to a result and set up a situation where all they needed was win and they were in (although it should be noted that they were robbed of the winning goal by a completely mysterious and nonsensical call of some sort by the referee who looked about as lost and confused as I would have if they called me down from the stands).

So, today the US managed to not give up an early goal but there were still some nerve-wracking moments as Algeria did manage to hit the bar early on. Onyewu was replaced by fan whipping boy Jonathan Bornstein which made me nervous but the back four managed to hold the line today. The finishing of goal chances was as atrocious as it usually seems to be for the US but that's always great for ratcheting up the tension.

That tension in matches like this is one of the absolute best parts of soccer. It starts to build slowly then grows as one (or both) teams start to throw everything they have at the goal. For the team holding a lead every bounce of the ball is a tiny moment of fear and every shot is pure terror. For the team trying to score it's a feeling of being trapped in a box waiting to explode while ruing every missed chance and cursing every mishit ball. There are no timeouts to break up any of this and the clock is always ticking. Then to make things even more intense they're going to add a certain amount of time to the game and you have no idea if that will be enough or too much or when the final three whistle blasts will arrive.

I was still somewhat confident up until the 80th minute because the US was just getting so many chances that I really felt like they were going to get one eventually. Algeria either couldn't get the ball to the box or made the bizarre decision that they were going to play for 0-0 or hope for a lucky counterattack but they didn't really threaten the goal nearly as much. From 80-85 I was getting nervous but still thought the goal was coming. Around 85 I'm really intense and starting to curse, which, in our lab, is barely even noticed, and I'm thinking we might be screwed. I remember looking at the clock at 88 and realizing that we were really in deep shit. 89-90 and I'm already thinking about how brutal it is to bomb out of the Cup like this. 91 I'm freaking out that Algeria almost scored when I see Howard launch the ball like he's Peyton Manning and suddenly Donovan is streaking down the field. Passes it ahead, they try to the cross and I lose the ball for a moment so it looks like Dempsey kicked it right into the goalie who is covering it up. Suddenly the ball is out and I see it moments before Donovan flies in a buries it in the back. Relief, release, screaming, high fives, holy shit, they're through.

It was just such an amazing, emotional moment. All of that tension has been building and building and you know you're a minute or two away from huge disappointment. Suddenly a glimmer of hope, another soul crushing moment when the ball bounces out, then pure, unadulterated joy. And hey, thanks to the wonders of digital video we can relive it all over the country. Las Vegas. San Diego. Seattle (maybe the best because the camera was still so you can see the expressions on the faces). Washington D.C. Portland. Lincoln, Nebraska (another great one and the best at showing the tension and anticipation building.) Hey, how about from inside the stadium? Love it.

You've got to love this team. I think American soccer players are typically tougher than players from other countries because they had to grow up with people questioning them on the sport and the diving. It seems they are often personified by bloody moments like McBride in the Italy game in '06 or Dempsey in this game. They're definitely personified by guys like Donovan who has to be one of the best-conditioned athletes in the world. As maddening as their early miscues are they always seem to find a way to claw their way back into it, a virtue that has led to two of the more entertaining games in at least this World Cup, if not any of them.

So, they end up as winners of their group. In fact, I read in Grant Wahl's piece that they set the World Cup record for fewest total minutes with a lead for a group winner: 2. 2 minutes in 3 games! The previous record was Netherlands in '94 which had a total of 21 minutes. Crushed it! The benefit of the win is a date with Ghana on Saturday (ABC lucks out again and should draw massive ratings) and a potential quarterfinal pairing with the winner of Uruguay-South Korea. There are definitely no easy games at this stage of the tournament but would you rather be playing Germany then the winner of Argentina-Mexico? Yeah. It's going to be tough but I think they have a decent shot to reach the semis. It will be fun to see what they can do.

Other thoughts:
I think Bob Bradley's been making the right calls. In qualifying the US seemed so conservative all the time so it's nice to see them come out of their shell a bit (even if it's mostly been forced by circumstances). Also, his son is playing fantastic. He's earning himself a fat paycheck from somebody after the tournament is over.

The US was screwed again today on the disallowed Dempsey goal. Loved the shot of a pissed-off Bill Clinton sitting there while Sepp Blatter blathered in his ear about something. Bill should talk him into some better officiating. I'm sure he did some lobbying for a US World Cup in 2022.

I'm totally digging the British announcers. Maybe it's the "Keep Calm and Carry On" influence but they even manage to relax me over the din of vuvuzelas and are opinionated but not obnoxious about it. They have been willing to hammer the refs while still managing to reel in John Harkes who has also been doing a great job but can go overboard for the US at times.

Speaking of vuvuzelas, I can't help but crack up at the Deadspin videos showing them ruining great moments in history. I have no idea why it's so funny to me.

Well, what do you think? Anybody hopping aboard the US soccer bandwagon?

The Big....Something

2010-06-06T18:07:00.000-05:00

There's been no shortage of speculation about how the college sports landscape will look in a few years and and as an avid college sports fan I've read too much of it. So much that I've experienced the gamut of emotions including fear, anger, and eventually somewhat of a zen-like acceptance. I suppose up until this point I held out hope that the Big 12 would find a way to remain viable even if they were to lose 1 or 2 teams to the Big 10+1 but the news that the Pac 10 was set to offer a spot to 6 teams pretty much shocked me into the reality that I had always suspected but hoped was untrue. The Big 12 is proper fucked.

In my mind the undoing was a conference leadership that has consistently bowed to the interests of the moneyed few at the expense of the rest of the conference. It's a leadership group that has lacked anything even remotely resembling a vision for the conference beyond mediocre TV deals that maintain the status quo. It's why other leagues are making waves and raiding this league while our commissioner is reduced to saying he's "comfortable" the league will still be together in a few years. Uhh, you're the only one, buddy. Every move Beebe has made has been laughably transparent and toothless. Granted the Big 12 faces some demographic, geographic, and historical issues that others don't have to deal with but keeping things "comfortable" seems like the primary goal of the last several years.

While a conference with better leadership and parties that are equally invested in the success of the league may have been able to adapt and survive a large part of me questions whether it's even worth it. It's not like it's any big secret that there are lots of lots of hands dipping into a very large pool of money surrounding the NCAA and pointing out the hypocrisy of this same group of people waxing poetic about the mythical "student-athlete" has been done to death. However the greedy bastards have become so brazen in recent years as to even make me turn my head in disgust. These assholes have their pockets stuffed with cash already and are clawing for even more but to what end? I'm fully convinced that college athletics is in an arms race that is suicidal or perhaps homicidal by the richest of the rich. Will it finally be enough when we have four 16-team super conferences? Across the country legislatures are cutting the budgets of state universities putting more and more of the burden on students but we're still focused on squeezing every last penny for fucking sports. Ugh.

I kind of assumed that when the cards were down Iowa State would be the ones at the table that didn't have a hand to play and everyone knew it. I mean, when your team is consistently treated as second class in your own tiny state the rest of the country isn't exactly going to be clamoring to bring you aboard. When the ACC was raiding the Big East a few years ago the University of Virginia threw Virginia Tech a lifeline and said no expansion without them but there's no way in hell the University of Iowa would do anything like that. "Uh, good luck with the whole no-conference thing Iowa State, it's just that we really could use a few million more dollars. I'm sure you understand." It's absolute insanity and so completely unnecessary. Doesn't a lot of it seem wrapped up in pride and ego and proving once and for all who the top dogs are?

The prospect of Iowa State, KU and K-State ending up homeless in all of this makes me want to puke and has me questioning why I even want to keep following this charade and pumping money into the system.

Unleashing some outrage

2010-06-03T20:49:00.005-05:00

I'm outraged, dammit! Let me tell you about it.

First, there's this oil well thing. It's hard to find anybody that comes out looking even remotely decent in this thing. The BP execs are typical scum of the Earth who should immediately be fired and when the golden parachute inevitably opens and they are rehired by some other oil company we should garnish their wages for eternity. "I want my life back." Yeah, well, we want the "very big ocean" back.

Palin decided that she was going to blame the environmentalists for this one. According to her twisted logic the people that don't want any more drilling made other people drill in the ocean by blocking drilling in the arctic...or something. I shouldn't have even mentioned her moronic ass.

NPR had a story with a bunch of people in the Gulf who have been hit hard economically by the spill but the twist was they wanted to drill more oil. Why is it that actually taking some drastic steps to reduce our oil consumption seems to be the only things not on the table?

Obama. I'll preface this by saying that I'm more than a little skeptical of the GOP's sudden interest in federal intervention in disaster areas and in protecting the environment but could Obama's team have their head up their ass any more on this? There's a couple of things I think could be happening. One is they really don't want to step in too much because they can see the writing on the wall that this thing isn't stopping anytime soon and want to avoid the majority of the blame. Makes sense but it's all going to blow back on them anyway so they may as well own it now and try to get something done. If they actually believed what BP was telling you then they're fucking stupid. These people have nothing but their own self-interest at heart. The people in this administration should be smarter than that. Or maybe they fell for the "Beyond Petroleum" BS these people have been spinning for a while.

It pissed me off to no end that all of this drilling could occur without any sort of plan to fix a problem like this. I had a bunch of other "outrage" to add to this post but after seeing the pictures of the oil-covered birds and barrels upon barrels of oil washing onshore it all seems pretty meaningless now.

A few thoughts before The End of Lost

2010-05-23T16:21:00.004-05:00

If you aren't caught up to this point you should probably just quit reading and go rent the DVDs. You don't have time to get caught up but you might find yourself watching four or five episodes at a time.

In the lead up to this final episode I've been attempting to keep my expectations in check. Basically, I don't want a six year journey to feel tainted because of the choices the creators made in the last 150 minutes. Really, any show that has me this excited for a final episode has already succeeded. I've had a good reminder of the exhilarating highs the show has produced over the years when a work friend of mine started in on Season 1 last week. Every day he would come in, "Dude, I watched four episodes last night..." and then start going into the twists and turns and his theories that were sometimes correct and oftentimes as laughably wrong as most of mine were. While I may tentatively agree with this NY Times piece that the first season was the show at its best and that the speculation I referred to above is a big part of the success of the show I think the author is way too harsh on the rest of the series.

This mythology may be a major driving force behind the show and provides for most of the speculation I've enjoyed but if there wasn't the character development of the bonds we've made with them the mythology behind it all would ring hollow as it does on many of the other serialized shows that have crashed and burned in Lost's wake. I'll admit that outside of a few stellar performances (the actors playing Locke, Desmond, Ben among the most notable) the acting has been average at best and the show has fallen victim to lazy story writing or meandering plot lines and never really fully developed a quality female character but the positives more than outweigh the negatives. Watching the characters struggle and grow we feel their triumphs are well earned.

I think back to episodes like "Through the Looking Glass" and "The Constant" and moments like "we're going to have to take the boy", Locke pounding on the hatch until the light comes on, "Not Penny's Boat", and any number of Ben Linus moments and I think of TV at its best. Regardless of whether their vision of an ending is as "good" as something else I've imagined it's still been a fun ride.

And if it really does suck? Well, what good is the internet if not a place to vent misplaced righteous indignation?

How I spend way too much time and money on concerts

2010-05-20T17:03:00.001-05:00

This was a post I started several weeks ago and never finished. I was reminded of one of the bands today and decided to go ahead and finish it. Basically, it's a recap of a bunch of concerts I went to in a few week period in March. Along with the relevant information I'll include whether I saw Paul Shirley, former Iowa State/NBA basketball player and current writer/music elitist/Haiti hater/6'9" guy at the back, at the show.

Surfer Blood / Turbo Fruits
3/13 Replay Lounge
Paul Shirley: Yes
The Replay is one of the smaller venues in town and mostly hosts newer bands hitting up the midwestern college towns. Surfer Blood was on their way to Austin for SXSW (where they were definitely at the center of the "buzz band" vortex as chronicled here) and the Replay was the only place in town they could find to play or they kind of blew up after they booked but people were definitely stoked about it. They may not have technically been over the fire code because of all of their patio space but it was impossible to even get across to the bar or the bathroom. I was able to look past all of that because both bands put on a great show. By the end it was a huge mass of sweaty, fist-pumping humanity. Thanks to the wonders of Lawrence.com streaming the local public access TV show "The Turnpike" you can see some of the highlights and get an idea of just how freaking crowded it really was.

Xiu Xiu / tUnEyArDs
3/29 Jackpot Music Hall
Paul Shirley: No
Xiu Xiu has been around for a while but I wasn't all that familiar with most of their stuff but I'd heard enough to be intrigued and have gotten to know someone who was in the band several years ago. tUnEyArDs (really obnoxious with the capitalization...) was fascinating to watch and listen to when she opened for Dirty Projectors earlier this year so I decided to check this show out. I think I wrote about tUnEyArDs once before but it's basically one woman setting up loops of beats or backup vocals and singing over them with a lot of traditional African influence. It was a little bit different seeing her this time as she seemed a bit more low-key but I'm still a fan.

Xiu Xiu was completely awesome. They had all kinds of weird shit to make music with. I mean, they had two gongs, three or four cymbols that were smaller than the palm of your hand, and even played one or two songs by doing...something, on a program called Korg DS-10 as I later learned, on a Nintendo DS. Anyway, I didn't always "get" what they were doing on every song but the passion that he put into them was infectious.

Beach House / Bachelorette
4/6 Granada
Paul Shirley: Yes

This show was originally at the much smaller Jackpot but was moved to Granada which was a good idea because there was a pretty massive crowd on hand which got to witness a really good show.

Bachelorette's accent had me thinking she was Swiss maybe but turns out it's New Zealand. She was pretty sick apparently and had to restart one of her songs but won points from me for drinking shots of Jaeger throughout the show to get over it. Musically there were some similarities to Tuneyards (not capitalizing anything this time) in that she set up a lot of loops herself then sang over them. I liked it. Plus she had a big video screen with cool stuff going on behind her.

Beach House was pretty much what you would expect. Their album is called "Teen Dream" and pretty much everything they did evoked a trippy dream about prom or something. Weird shimmering rotating diamonds on the stage, lots of fog, lots of dim colored lighting. I thought they were going to fight with whoever the lighting guy was for not turning down the overhead stage lights as much as they wanted. The lead singer reminded me of Alice Cooper in shoulder pads (check out the pics here) but, hey, she was way more ironically hip than anyone else there. This was a great show to just chill and take everything in.

Shearwater / Wye Oak / Hospital Ships
4/8 Bottleneck
Paul Shirley: No
This was what I might call the surprise of the stretch of shows. I was somewhat familiar with Shearwater but probably wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for my friend, Spencer, who was touring with Hospital Ships. They were making their triumphant return to Lawrence as their US/Canadian tour rolled through town. Hospital Ships generally plays as a collection of really talented musicians revolving around Jordan Geiger. This might have been one of the larger iterations that I've seen but I liked it and they played a couple of songs that rocked out a bit more than usual.

Wye Oak was my big surprise. I hadn't listened to them at all but thought they put on a fantastic performance. And, like Beach House, they're from Baltimore. Turns out The Wire lied to me and it's more than just drugs and drunk cops. I'm realizing I'm saying the same thing about every band I've seen ("really good", I'd be a terrible reviewer apparently) so I'll point out two notable things, one about each member of the band. They guy played drums with his right hand and keyboard with his left hand...AT THE SAME TIME! I guess he would have been fun to watch but most of my attention went to the singer who had the gorgeous voice and cute face that makes all the dorks in the audience fall in love with her. Oh, one more thing. Check out their cover of "Strangers" by the Kinks that they did for the Onion's AV Club. They did this at the show and killed it just as much as they did on the video. Great song, great band.

I liked Shearwater a lot but I made a comparison between the way the lead singer sang some of his songs and a medieval minstrel and it was kind of hard to get over that at times. It's kind of impossible to describe unless you see it. That said, they were awesome and write some pretty amazing songs.

The Big Pink / A Place to Bury Strangers
4/10 Bottleneck
Paul Shirley: Yes
Wow. It's hard to even know how to describe what this show was like.

First, it was a completely bizarre crowd. There were the expected indie hipsters in skinny jeans and the metalheads in black t-shirts but there was also this group of women that looked like they just stepped off the set of Real Housewives of OC or something. You know the kind I'm talking about? Lots of makeup/fake tan/fake boobs/dressed young but like, 40? Then there was this group of people that were kind of like the fratty/party types. They all had on those cheap plastic Mardi Gras beads and showed up yelling and high fiving their friend "RUSSELL!" whose name had to be screamed apparently. It just sort of seemed like they were at the wrong show. Some of these people will show up in the story later but I wanted to set up the scene now.

APTBS starts off with lots of fog and lit only by some projectors behind them. It made a pretty cool effect and they had some nice designs they would use later. Their whole deal was pretty much to hit you with a wall of sound and then drop another wall on top of that one. I've been to loud shows but I'm not sure many have been louder than this (and I expected this but still managed to forget my ear plugs at home which I really regret). I guess I'd describe them as sort of an electro-rock band that was kind of like New Order but cranked up to 11 in every manner possible. The last 20 minutes or so was nothing but fog, strobe lights, and utterly destroying us with their guitars. All of that was completely disorienting and the band members would disappear for a while and then reappear even though they were 10 feet in front of me. It was just an incredibly intense environment and it was hilarious to see everyone around me almost staggering outside after their set just to get away from everything. The passers-by all seemed a little shocked by the huge crowd of zombies shouting in each others ears.

Speaking of that crowd... The fratty partiers were up front really rocking out and dancing to all of this. There were two couples who rarely, if ever, left the embrace of the other and there was lots of making out throughout the show. Behind them there was this Bro-type with a chinstrap beard and the jorts that go down to your shins. He was drinking High Life but every time he would drink it was a full head tilt back so the bottle is sticking straight into the air for a full second or two. I saw this right away and thought, "ok, the show is starting and he doesn't want to hold it so he's just going to slam this one" but within 30 seconds he had another bottle and was doing the same thing. Throughout the show he was constantly going up to complete strangers and putting his arm around them or getting a fist bump and always, always nodding his head with the beat in the most exaggerated way possible with one hand in the air in the shape of a gun also moving with the beat. Anytime he noticed someone that looked like they were enjoying the show he was immediately in their face showing them how much he was enjoying it too. It was like if you had to mime someone saying "YEAH! KILLER SHOW, BRAH! SO TIIIIIGHT!" it would be this guy. He tried to get one hipster kid to fist bump him and the guy totally shut him down and I thought they were going to fight over it. Not surprisingly, after chugging High Life for hours, this dude did get into a little pushing match with Fratty Party guy and then Handlebar Mustache guy who tried to calm him down.

He also spent some time trying to grind on Real Housewife #1 (Fake Boobs) before Real Housewife #2 (the Crazy one) totally cock blocked him and pointed to some young guy who was possibly the prey for this cougar or her son. Not sure which. The Crazy one got her name for spending the first 2 songs of the Big Pink's set standing in the 2nd row and staring at the crowd or someone in the crowd? Really weird. Handlebar Mustache guy wasn't having it and kept telling her to turn around but she kept staring at him until he started ignoring her. Why these people were here? I have no idea. I will give fratty party crew credit for singing along to every song so at least I know they were serious fans. In case you thinking I'm making it up, The Pitch commented on the exact same weird crowd vibe in their writeup of the show.

Ugh, let's get back to music. During APTBS's set I remember thinking, "holy shit, I can't believe this is the opener. The Big Pink has a lot to live up to." And they did...pretty much. It's kind of an unfair comparison because it's just impossible to duplicate the intensity of the first set so even though they played great it didn't feel like the show ramped up like they usually do. And the thing is they were a total kick ass rock band as well but it felt a lot different than if another band had opened. Actually, they complemented each other pretty well. It's tough to make a lot of what they do on their record sound great on a stage but they did a really good job, for the most part. I love their song "Velvet" but it was missing some of the synth/reverb stuff which disappointed me a little. They closed with Dominos (which they killed and was a great finish) and no encore (which usually I don't mind but would have liked to see another song or two, so I guess they succeeded there).

The Ettes
4/10 Replay Lounge
Paul Shirley: No

Yes, my friend John and I are such live music junkies that we say, "yeah, those bands blew out every one of our senses but, eh, it's still early, let's go see another show." Not too much to say about these guys. Kind of a punk/twang outfit based in Nashville now. I thought it was some decent stuff. The singer reminded me of Loretta Lynn backed by a punk band but John wasn't feeling it.

So, anyway, way too long (and probably really boring) and way too many shows. On the horizon I have the Black Keys in KC and Caribou/Toro y Moi and who knows whatever else comes around. If you're curious, Paul Shirley wrote about two of the same shows (and a few I wish I went to but had to skip due to other shows or the whole poor, insanely busy grad student thing) in this post and whines because Rogue Wave told him to fuck off over the whole Haiti thing.

I think this is supposed to be an attack ad?

2010-05-09T19:54:00.003-05:00

I love the incredulous way the announcer reads the quote "evolution...best explains the origins of life" like someone was making the case for UFOs bringing Lizard People to run our government. Only in Alabama (and about half of the other states and every Republican primary) can you be mocked for saying something reasonable.

I was flipping through the Sunday paper today and came across a special Mother's Day interview with Sarah Palin. It was her usual drivel that isn't even worth mentioning except for her quote about teaching her kids "Alaska values" then goes on to list hunting, fishing, four-wheeling, and gold-panning. Gold panning? What the fuck? I've never been to Alaska but I have to guess that most people don't actually teach their kids gold-panning unless they want them to portray some yokel miner for tourists, right? I mean, gold-panning? Was she serious?

The other thing that amused was the glossy insert they put in there. One is the "USA Weekend" and the other is "American Parade" or something like that. Anyway, both of them have this section where people write in with questions about celebrities. I don't have the section in front of me but I'll summarize the questions I remember and answer them how I would have.
"I read that John King is replacing Lou Dobbs on his CNN show. What can you tell me about him?"
Yeah, google.com. Try it.

"I really love what's her name on Cold Case. Has she done any other TV or movies?"
IMDB. Seriously.

"I really love the Andrews Sisters. What are they doing now?"
Jeebus, are you 105? The Andrews Sisters? They haven't had a hit since WWII, have they? Two of them are dead and one of them is clinging to life in a nursing home. Wikipedia.

I mean, really, isn't this just Google for people that have no clue how to use it? I've decided I want to get a question answered but I'm struggling to come up with something inane enough to actually have a chance.

Junction City, KS, is just a weird place. I stopped at Subway and in the parking lot there was a pickup with no fewer than 5 metal and decal Transformers logos and a back window sticker that said "To Destroy and Enslave." I would have taken a picture but I was afraid it would turn into a robot and crush me. In addition was a new Mustang with lots of decals about "German engineered, French engine, American muscle" which didn't make a ton of sense to me and then the other door had something about "mama's ride" and class or some other crap. Like I said, weird place.

Update: OK, one more political ad. Here's John McCain getting all Mavericky. I like the nice touch of bringing in the skinhead and the "one of us" lingo.

New video - Spence

2010-05-05T18:47:00.002-05:00

The current and former Lawrence Fucking Kansas residents reading this will appreciate the new video from Spence, filmed on location all over town. Hey, it's my coffee shop. Hey, that guy serves me beer at the Taproom. Hey, that guy with dreads is 1/3 of Cowboy Indian Bear.

Kids in the Hall foretell the coming of Glenn Beck

2010-04-30T09:36:00.004-05:00

I got this from Nate's Facebook and wow, is it amazing. It's an hilarious sketch from 1994 featuring Dave Foley as a dead ringer for the Glenn Beck of today.

The sketch was an absolute classic but his crack about rehab during the interview might have been my favorite moment.

I thought this was America

2010-04-14T22:06:00.005-05:00

Got this story of a beer run gone awry via Jason's Facebook page:

One man’s treasure is another man’s trash.

This was true for two city employees who were alerted to hundreds of cases of recently expired beer dumped in the city landfill.

On April 1, N.H. Scheppers Distributing Co. of Columbia dropped off 1,500 cases of expired beer at the landfill. The unusually large load consisted mostly of cans of Budweiser and some Michelob Ultra, said Scheppers President Joe Priesmeyer, and was delivered in two shipments.

The first half was destroyed by landfill crews upon delivery. The second load, roughly 700 cases, remained intact.

Margrace Buckler, the city’s human resource director, said after the second load was dropped off, two employees of the city’s Solid Waste Division came to the site with a city-owned pickup and loaded up as much beer as they could carry away — about 50 cases.

Buckler said it is likely that at least one landfill employee played a role in the matter.

“Someone needed to tell them that it was there,” she said. “The assumption is that someone made a phone call.”

Suspicion didn’t arise until a week later when rumors spread, Buckler said. Management looked at security tapes and saw the city-owned vehicle entering the landfill empty and leaving with the beer.

The two employees were confronted Monday. One resigned, and the other awaits a meeting with Director of Public Works John Glascock and could face disciplinary action. Their names are not being disclosed.

What??? The day we can't rescue discarded beer from a city landfill without losing our jobs is the day Obama has truly destroyed America's freedom with his socialist beer policies. Teabaggers unite! To the barricades!

Golazos all around

2010-04-10T10:52:00.003-05:00

In an effort to spread the gospel of soccer I feel compelled to share two pretty remarkable performances from the Champion's League this week. First up is Arjen Robben's sick goal to knock out Manchester United and send Bayern to the semis. This is just amazing pinpoint accuracy from Ribery dropping the corner kick right on his foot to Robben catching it perfectly a foot off the ground to squeeze it between the goalie and the post. Bonus points for mocking the ManU fans for being so quiet by apparently going into some sort of seizure.

Then there's Lionel Messi, for Barca, who scored 4 goals on the way to knocking out Arsenal. His goals can be seen from about the 1 minute mark on. The 3rd and 4th ones are my favorites because it's like, "alright, if you come out to challenge me I'll just send a volley a couple of inches above your hands" and then to follow that up by embarrassing a couple of defenders before sending one into the goalie's hands. Obviously that's not going to fly so he may as well embarrass the goalie too by rocketing one through the 5 hole. Bonus points for Barca's use of wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man behind the goal.

Wha?

2010-03-26T22:20:00.002-05:00

You may have noticed it's been a little quiet around here lately. You know I've been beyond busy when an unprecedented level of right wing craziness is on display and coinciding with one of the most entertaining NCAA tournaments of all-time (which coincides with my worst bracket of all-time) doesn't bring me to the Basement. Anyway, too much has passed to even attempt to comment on at this point but I read a quote on Kos from this Washington Post article and thought it was too perfect not to pass on.

The call to arms was issued at 5:55 a.m. last Friday.

"To all modern Sons of Liberty: THIS is your time. Break their windows. Break them NOW."

These were the words of Mike Vanderboegh, a 57-year-old former militiaman from Alabama, who took to his blog urging people who opposed the historic health-care reform legislation -- he calls it "Nancy Pelosi's Intolerable Act" -- to throw bricks through the windows of Democratic offices nationwide. [...]

In the days that followed, glass windows and doors were shattered at local Democratic Party offices and the district offices of House Democrats from Arizona to Kansas to New York. [...]

Vanderboegh was unapologetic in a 45-minute telephone interview with The Washington Post early Thursday. He said he believes throwing bricks through windows sends a warning to Democratic lawmakers that the health-care reform legislation they passed Sunday has caused so much unrest that it could result in a civil war.

Yeah, pretty much your typical nutjob running around in fatigues imagining himself defending "the real America" from all of the socialist assholes. I wonder how these guys find time to do all of this stuff. I mean, what do they do for money?

Vanderboegh said he once worked as a warehouse manager but now lives on government disability checks.

Oh...of course. HE CASHES CHECKS FROM THE GOVERNMENT!

Hilarious. What a fucking asshole. If this guy wants to live out teabagger fantasies maybe he should start by breaking out his own windows.

Vintage Missouri

2010-02-22T18:14:00.003-06:00

There was an absolute classic crime story in the KC Star today.

There's no way I can do the story justice so you really need to go read it. The comparison to a Coen brothers movie is too perfect. I think my favorite part is when he convinced them they were going to start a biker gang without any actual, you know, bikes. Yikes, way to go Missouri.

Super Bowl Thoughts

2010-02-07T22:05:00.006-06:00

First, the commercials:
Nice to see the '85 Bears Shufflin' Crew, or, as I like to call them, the biggest gimmick team in sports, sell out again . This time they even managed to work in Jim McMahon wearing a thong. Thanks for that image, guys. I tried to make fun of my Bears fan friends about that and blew the joke which was disappointing.

Indie rock was all over the place. It was like listening to my playlist at work. I caught Arcade Fire, Grizzly Bear, the Heavy, and Kasabian for sure but there may have been others.

Apparently the hot trends in advertising are people in their underwear, encouraging men to be all manly and stuff, and trying to make me go to your website to see the full commercial. No. I won't do it.

Someone at the party I attended works for Motorola and said they sent out an email announcing no raises for anyone this year followed the next day by an email bragging that they bought a Super Bowl ad. He seemed a little annoyed when he saw that his raise went to pay for Megan Fox in a bathtub.

Who knew going into tonight that the Chiefs would get a win and the chance to hoist the Lombardi Trophy? Brian Waters won NFL Man of the Year and Hall of Famer Len Dawson got to carry the trophy to the stage. Unfortunately, that's about as close as they're going to get for a while.

Was I the only one who thought the best part of the half-time show was clearly the stage? Let's hear it for LEDs! Surrounding them with that was approximately 800 billion times cooler than making a bunch of people off the street wear the same color of t-shirt and run onto the field to pretend they're excited to see rock stars in their 60's lip sync a medley of their greatest hits. I like the Who and they weren't bad for the most part but is it possible to get somebody who didn't peak decades ago? What's going to happen when all of these bands actually can't perform anymore?

I was browsing through the list of Super Bowl halftime shows and I'm pretty sure this one from '91 is my favorite description:

New Kids on the Block, Disney characters, Warren Moon, 2,000 local children, audience card stunt

OK, maybe the Who isn't so bad after all.

Gotta love the Saints onside kick attempt. He'd be raked over the coals if it didn't work but they were going to need some breaks if they were going to pass the Colts. I'm disappointed we didn't get a cut to that Playboy skank after her 4th string receiver husband booted the ball. CBS was surprisingly restrained with only one cut to the Manning luxury box that I remember and none to that chick or the Kardashian.

Loved the dude with the Superdome shaved into his head picking off Favre's last pass and the game-clinching pass tonight. Those are two pretty impressive picks.

The studio guys for CBS...yeesh. I'll listen to what Cowher says but I don't think Marino or Boomer bring much to the table and I usually have no idea what Sharpe is trying to say at all. I will say they have taken fake-laughing to a level I didn't think humans could possibly reach.

While watching Brees and son on the field after the game, one of those guys said that winning a Super Bowl was the most precious moment a father could share with his son. Damn, thanks for nothing, dad.

Tea Bags gathering

2010-02-05T22:27:00.003-06:00

I decided I wasn't going to write about the National Tea Bagger convention because, honestly, who has the energy to keep up with these nutjobs? If you're willing to pay Sarah Palin $100,000 to come speak at your event, well, I just can't respect that.

Thinking about Sarah Palin reminds of this wingnut I knew from school who posts crazy shit on Facebook, such as raving about Palin's book. She's so far out there that I have to question whether it's actually legit and not a joke. She actually joined a group promoting an amendment to the Constitution allowing George W. Bush a third term in office! She's one of the 30% or so that saw 8 years of Bush and thought, "ya know, I think we could use another four of this." Good grief.

Recently someone was encouraging her to go to some reception/gala event by bragging that the guest speaker was the fake prostitute involved in the "sting" of ACORN. I guess the other conservative intellectual heavyweights like Joe the Plumber weren't available but they legitimately seem excited about hearing what this woman had to say. I'm guessing it's a lot of "ACORN is stealing our votes and taking our jobs and giving them to illegal immigrants who sell them in order to pay for the abortions of welfare scammers. Socialist."

The fact that she was excited to see this woman was funny but the all-time classic happened either right before the inauguration when she forbid the grade schoolers in her classroom from saying "Barack Obama" because the kids were talking about him so much. I felt bad for the kids but I'm pretty sure she teaches at one of those fundie schools that doesn't actually have any accredidation so I'm pretty sure the kids are screwed already.

Where was I? Oh, right, the Teabaggers I'm not talking about. I was reading about their convention at the Opryland in Nashville and there was just too much comedy to pass up. You know the Basement is all about easy, cheap jokes at the right wing's expense. You know this.

Scores of tea party activists from as far as Hawaii arrived in Nashville on Thursday, energized by signs that their cries last year had been heard and that that political tide is turning against Obama and congressional Democrats. Someone hung a poster of Palin from a balcony overlooking a garden atrium at the Opryland complex. In the hotel lobby, a few delegates sat on luggage and read copies of the Declaration of Independence.

LOL, really? "Damn, look at this line. Guess I'll whip out my Declaration of Independence. I know I read something about the prohibition of closet Kenyan-born Muslim socialists serving as president in there somewhere."

And outside the convention hall, entrepreneurs sold souvenirs: sterling silver tea bag necklaces ($89.99), bags of "Freedom Coffee" ($9) and T-shirts emblazoned with a bald eagle ($20).

Yeah, I'll give them a tea bag pearl necklace for half that price, we just need to head upstairs to my room...

The convention host delivered a meandering welcome speech without notes, saying he misplaced them. Former congressman Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.) offered a fiery defense of Judeo-Christian faith and traditional American values, but there was no prayer or Pledge of Allegiance to open the convention -- nor was there an American flag in the convention hall. (Skoda blamed the oversight on the hotel staff.)

WHY DO YOU HATE JESUS AND AMERICA!??????!?!?!?!

Despite her fee, Palin said she will not "benefit financially" from the event. "Any compensation for my appearance will go right back to the cause," she wrote in an opinion article published in USA Today. Palin did not specify how she would distribute her earnings.

Benefit financially? What gave you that idea? That's what campaign funds are for. But, seriously, if that money is going "right back into the cause" why not just decline the money so it could "stay right in the cause"? Also.

Tea Party Nation, a social-networking site, is organizing the convention. Although it is a for-profit corporation, founders Judson and Sherry Phillips have said that any profit will be funneled back into the movement. "We have made the best of a tight budget and scaled back the price of attending this convention as much as we could without putting TPN into bankruptcy," Sherry Phillips wrote recently in an e-mail to members.

Still, other prominent voices in the movement remain furious. Erick Erickson, editor of RedState.com, a conservative blog, wrote that the convention "smells scammy." Two tea party groups, the American Liberty Alliance and the National Precinct Alliance, withdrew from the convention in protest, as did two featured speakers, Reps. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) and Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.).

"It didn't sound 'tea party' to me," said Anthony Shreeve, 27, a tea party organizer from Tennessee who is boycotting the convention. "It sounded more like a regular Republican fundraiser."

Michelle Freaking Bachmann pulled out from this? Yikes, it must be a scam if even her never-met-a-crazy-ass-statement-I-wouldn't-say-to-get-my-wingnut-ass-on-TV face isn't showing up.

Sadly, the Republicans will probably succeed in channeling this craziness into electoral victories in the fall while Democrats continue to pretend they have someone negotiating in good faith, but, ehhh, they're still crazy.

Scott Meets Family Circus

2010-01-29T15:26:00.002-06:00

Longtime readers of the Basement will know that I'm a huge fan of the Family Circus and an even bigger fan of anything that makes fun of the Family Circus. Apparently Scott Meets the Family Circus has been around for a while but I just saw it on HuffPost. Apparently it takes Family Circus cartoons and inserts a guy named Scott, or his buddy Dante, who get to say everything we'd like to say those half-witted pumpkin-headed brats. My favorite part is when he puts Billy in his place.

Chris Matthews with some great SOTU analysis

2010-01-28T00:23:00.002-06:00

I've been swamped with my grant writing stuff lately so I didn't get a chance to actually watch Obama's speech tonight and I still have something to say about Paul Shirley's second biggest meltdown (he wrote about #1 here in case you were curious what it was) at some point but I had to throw this video of Chris Matthews out there because it's too hilarious not to. Oh, Chris never fails to bring the awkward. Transcript via NY Times:

I was trying to think about who he was tonight. It’s interesting; he is post-racial, by all appearances. I forgot he was black tonight for an hour. He’s gone a long way to become a leader of this country and past so much history in just a year or two. I mean it’s something we don’t even think about. I was watching and I said, wait a minute, he’s an African-American guy in front of a bunch of other white people and there he is, president of the United States, and we’ve completely forgotten that tonight — completely forgotten it. I think it was in the scope of the discussion, it was so broad ranging, so in tune with so many problems and aspects and aspects of American life. That you don’t think in terms of the old tribalism and the old ethnicity. It was astounding in that regard, a very subtle fact. It’s so hard to even talk about it. Maybe I shouldn’t talk about it.

To sum it up:
I completely forgot that he was black for the entire hour so to show how much we've all moved on from focusing on his blackness I'm going to talk about nothing but the fact that he's black and not really mention anything he said because we're all clearly focused on that and definitely not noticing that it's a black guy up there talking. He's black.

Bad signs

2010-01-24T00:59:00.002-06:00

I was looking through my Google Reader feed tonight and decided to check out what brilliant writer Matt Taibbi was ranting about lately. The MA Senate election? Goldman Sachs robbing us blind? Nope, the Kansas City Royals signing Rick Ankiel.

Apologies to my non-sports-reading readers, but I just spotted this — what the hell is going on in Kansas City? Is Dayton Moore trying to collect every sub-.300 OBP player in baseball?

Last year the Royals drew 457 walks. There are currently about 450 Siberian tigers left in the wild. Anyone want to bet which ends up being more rare in 2010? This isn’t just wishful thinking, but I really think the Tiger is going to bounce back. Yuniesky Betancourt’s batting eye, not so much. Again, apologize for the non-political aside, but this stuff just makes me scratch my head.

When even Matt Taibbi is turning his acid pen on Dayton and the Royals you know things are bad. There really are some mind boggling stats out there. As Joe Posnanski helpfully points out there were 7 "every-day" players in all of baseball that had an adjusted on-base plus slugging of worse than 80. The Royals were on pace to start FIVE of those players. Jeebus.

I say they were because they just signed Ankiel to apparently start over Brian Anderson or Scott Podsednik, both of whom just signed a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, I'm confused too. Honestly, I think their outfield defense was so bad last year they are adopting the softball strategy of sticking four guys out there. I hope they announce that move at the same press conference they unveil their slogan for the season: "Hey, at least Greinke's pitching in thirtysome games this year!"

White Men Can't Jump (but they sure can make a two hand bounce pass)

2010-01-20T12:02:00.003-06:00

Apparently there's a group trying to start a "whites-only" professional basketball league in the South (the South? really?). You can't make this stuff up.

The All-American Basketball Alliance announced in a news release Sunday evening that it intends to start its inaugural season in June and hopes Augusta will be one of 12 cities with a team.

"Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league," the statement said.

Yeah, I know I'm definitely concerned with the fact that BOTH parents of the players I cheer for are of Caucasian descent.

Don "Moose" Lewis, the commissioner of the AABA, said the reasoning behind the league's roster restrictions is not racism.

No, of course not. Where would anyone get THAT idea?

"There's nothing hatred about what we're doing," he said. "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."

Ah yes, fundamental basketball. This guy should be promoting the WNBA (uh, and that W is for "women's" not "white") or something. I'm pretty sure that if being white was all it took to play "fundamental basketball" my pick-up games at the Rec wouldn't consist mostly of people lobbing passes over the head of the guy that never managed to get back on defense or trying to drive in the middle of four defenders and losing the ball.

Lewis said he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball instead of "street-ball" played by "people of color." He pointed out recent incidents in the NBA, including Gilbert Arenas' indefinite suspension after bringing guns into the Washington Wizards locker room, as examples of fans' dissatisfaction with the way current professional sports are run.

"Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?" he said. "That's the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction."

Don't even get me started on "street-ball" and what that usually means to people like this guy but if it's not about race then why is he limiting it to only white people? There are plenty of non-white players who are "fundamental" and during my time at Iowa State I saw two player flip off the crowd. One was Drew Gooden from KU and the other was Tim Heskett, a white guy from OU. He's clearly not made for this league with that no-fundamentals street-ball style of his, I don't care how pasty he is. Won't someone think of the children?

Either way it's pretty embarrassing that somebody is trying to do this in 2010. Can't he just cheer for Duke or something?

Coco Update

2010-01-14T23:27:00.002-06:00

I think I've made my stance on Jay Leno pretty clear over the years so you can guess where I stand on Conan vs. Jay. The only positive I see out of this is that Conan is finally unleashed and has been pretty hilarious from what I've seen. Gawker compiled the relevant moments from tonight's broadcasts. If you love incredibly awkward moments involving people ripping on Jay Leno then may I recommend watching the clip of Jimmy Kimmel going on Jay's show tonight? Hilarious. I'm estimating that brings my total viewing time of his early show to 6 minutes and 5 seconds. Do people always rip on him to his face like that? Who knew it could be so comical?

Crises, Real and Imagined

2010-01-14T22:50:00.004-06:00

Quarterlife crisis.

This phenomenon, known as the “Quarterlife Crisis,” is as ubiquitous as it is intangible. Unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion and anxiety about working, relationships and direction is reported by people in their mid-twenties to early thirties who are usually urban, middle class and well-educated; those who should be able to capitalize on their youth, unparalleled freedom and free-for-all individuation. They can’t make any decisions, because they don’t know what they want, and they don’t know what they want because they don’t know who they are, and they don’t know who they are because they’re allowed to be anyone they want.

I can recognize some of that in my life and in the lives of others I know. I went to grad school, I guess. Does this have any validity? Some, I suppose, but I'm not sure it's an entirely new phenomenon even if it manifests itself in different ways.

Then there are people with real problems that don't involve whining about "life decisions." How ridiculous is it that after Haiti's 1804 slave revolt led to their independence from France they had to pay $150 million francs in reparations, a debt they didn't retire until 1947? "Yeah, see, here's the deal. We're no longer getting all of this money by enslaving your people and pillaging your land so you're really going to have to start paying us back for that. kthx." According to this Times of London article at the turn of the 20th century 80% of their budget was going to paying down the debt and they were the only slaves in the world that had to do so. It also details the exploitation, this time at the hands of American corporations among others, that continued until the 1970's and lays out a lot of the corruption and other issues that led to the crushing poverty that existed even pre-earthquake. Kind of puts Quarterlife "crisis" in perspective...

So, some stuff happened today

2010-01-13T18:00:00.003-06:00

I was away from the internet for most of the day (horrors!) and came back to find out some stuff happened.

I knew about the earthquake in Haiti but didn't see pictures or coverage until now. Man, does Haiti get shit on or what? It's always been a pretty oppressively crappy place to live before they started getting slammed with hurricanes and the largest earthquake in centuries.

Arcade Fire has done a lot to raise the issues of Haiti among their crowd (portions of their Neon Bible tour proceeds went to charities there and they handed out fact cards or whatever at the show). They released a statement with a link to Partners in Health, a pretty cool charity that is already on the ground helping people there if you're into doing good deeds and whatnot. Also here's a list of places you can donate through text messaging if that's easier. Here's a link to their song "Haiti" if watching a video with footage of happier times is more your thing.

Of course the usual assholes (Limbaugh and Pat Robertson in particular) climbed out from their rocks to make sure everyone remembers they're complete assholes when it comes to stuff like this. I won't write what they said but I'm sure you can find it.

In other news my hometown police chief was charged with 14 counts of sex crimes against children. Scumbag. The locals made the usual "completely shocked" comments and even breaking out a cringeworthy "this never happens in small towns" to the Wichita and KC papers. Uhh, yeah, it does.

According to someone I know the last time this police force made the news they were firing an officer who posted youtube videos of himself in his underwear performing karate moves. No idea if that's true or not and I'm sure not going looking for that video.

I never thought I would say that a piece that briefly discusses Roger Ebert's sexual history would be an interesting read but, thanks to Erin GG, I found out that this one was pretty interesting. Check it out.

Jay Reatard died. I was never entirely on board with him but I generally liked what I heard.

Yikes, this is a depressing blogpost. Why did everything that happen today have to suck?

Finally, here's a story from ESPN on the "other" basketball team in Lawrence, Haskell Indian Nations University. It's long but worth a read.

Some stuff

2010-01-09T15:45:00.002-06:00

It's a story that didn't get much mention here but the Togo national soccer team was ambushed by a local rebel group with machine guns on their way to a match in Angola as part of the African Cup of Nations tournament. Four people were killed including one player. I though Michael Cardillo had a good take on the issue saying that the entire tournament should be called off. It seems like there's a tendency to just shrug about stuff like this when it happens in Africa but it's pretty messed up.

On a better note here's a kind of cool stop motion video from 2 guys who walked 26 miles of Yonge Street in Toronto in 14 hours.

Genres

2010-01-09T01:34:00.002-06:00

For whatever reason I've been having a lot of talk about genres the last few days. For some reason people want to classify everything into a little box so they can deal with it or dismiss it or whatever but it's kind of getting out of control. So much so that the NY Times is talking about it and Hipster Runoff is making shirts about it.

So, I hear that dubcore is a big trend this year and I have no idea what that means. In the course of reading about genres I find crabcore which might be one of the worst genres ever and is based on breakdowns and hardcore and dancing like a crab and I'm not really sure what else defines it. Apparently it came from this video because they look like crabs when they play. Brutal.

Tonight I went to see a few bands from Omaha and one from Lawrence play at the Replay. They played what I would consider to be punk music but they all dressed like indie hipster kids. Is this perhaps a new genre? Indiepunk? I have no idea because it's too damn exhausting to try to keep track.

I don't really have a point to all this besides amusement about the whole thing. I guess I'm going to try to create a new genre that's way hipper than anything you listen to.

False alarm, God didn't kill James Inhofe

2009-12-22T17:41:00.004-06:00

Check out this crazy who called into CSPAN in tears (video here) because his local teabagger group had been praying that Senator Byrd would die before the health care vote. He wasn't crying because Byrd had died or anything but because he noticed that Republican Senator Inhofe had missed the vote and they were worried God had double-crossed them and killed the wrong guy or something. The man then accuses the Republican Senator from Wyoming for not praying hard enough to kill Byrd.

You mean God isn't into killing Senators to prevent a vote that in order to make sure that millions of people are still left without access to health care? What kind of God is that? Doesn't he know they're praying for this?

Unfortunately I don't think this will even make This Modern World's yearly multi-part wrapup of the year in wingnut insanity.

And for the Lost fans

2009-12-18T19:23:00.002-06:00

Art inspired by Lost. Yeeeeah. I've got admit there's actually some really cool stuff here. Stuff like the "Lost Showdowns" set was fun to go through to come up with the content they were depicting and other stuff was just badass art.

Marmaduke is an asshole teenager

2009-12-18T18:45:00.003-06:00

I'm not sure that I hate anything quite like I hate the comic strip Marmaduke. It's like, here's this dog and he's a total asshole and no one does anything about it except try to make audible observations about exactly how he's being an asshole or explain exactly why he's being an asshole in some which usually boils down to he's acting like an entirely inconsiderate human would. And it's not even funny and the dad looks like Hitler. Maybe I'd enjoy it more as a biting satire of modern culture that asks who the real tyrants are by using an alternate history where instead of attempting to exterminate the Jews and take over Europe Hitler got an asshole dog. I may be on to something here.

Anyway, for some reason this comic continues to exist and they even decided to turn it into a live-action movie because...well, the Garfield movie made so much money, I guess? Certainly not because people other than morons find the strip funny (no offense to any Marmaduke lovers that might be reading this, of course. You just have a really shitty sense of humor). Morons do love to spend money on movies like this.

So, USA Today, continuing their great investigative journalistic tradition (and by investigative journalism I mean celebrity puff pieces), ran a piece on this upcoming flick and let me tell you it sounds fucking fantastic.

"We've approached the movie like a John Hughes movie with dogs," Dey says. "The dog park is like high school for dogs. To make this kind of movie, you really have to understand that it is the dog's world and we just live in it."

The kinds of rich characterizations Hughes embodied in teenage stars such as Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller's Day Off translate to the Marmaduke story lines, Dey says, including one theme about "the vulnerabilities" of Marmaduke.

"Marmaduke is a teenager, and he's trying to find his way in the world," Dey says. "It's a boy-meets-girl story, a coming-of-age and cautionary tale. My job as director is to try to place the audience inside this world."

Yes, I'm sure the rich characterizations translate great into a story about an asshole dog.

Dey asked the trainers to get the dogs to do tricks few other dogs, and certainly no other Great Danes, have done before in movies. Mike Alexander is the top trainer of Marmaduke, whose family moves from the Midwest to Orange County, Calif., where a favorite pastime is surfing.

"I asked him if he could teach the dog to surf," Dey says. "Mike said he didn't know if he could even get the dog in the water. The Danes he's worked with in the past have not wanted to go into the water."

So a plot point is Marmaduke, who hates water, being forced to enter a surf competition to save face for his owner.

ZOMG! A surfing dog?!?! That certainly doesn't sound like any trick I'VE ever seen a Great Dane perform! And yet "Avatar" is getting all the credit as the groundbreaking movie of the year? I don't get it!

"Mike started to work with him," Dey says. "I was amazed. I actually went out with him when he was training him in the water. I saw him get on a wave and ride. That was unbelievable. I don't think anyone's seen a Great Dane surf before."

*shaking head* I never thought I'd live to see the day. What a world we live in.

In one session in which Marmaduke, played by the Great Dane George, is doing promotional shots for the film, the trainers stick small bits of peanut butter around the inside of a commode he's supposed to drink from. No problem. It works well! He trots right over to the commode, and he doesn't mind doing this trick several times until he gets it right.

Uhh, no comment on this one. Yikes.

So, I, for one, can't wait. Just your typical John Hughes movie where the protagonist has to win a surfing contest to win back respect. Sounds like a can't miss film.

Oral Roberts? Is that anything like Anal Johnson?

2009-12-16T22:44:00.003-06:00

Remember when the guys that did Super Troopers followed it up with Club Dread and we all went to see it and it was really lame? Yeah, that dumb line is pretty much the only thing I remember from that movie and only because I once knew a guy a few years ago who said it all the time for basically no reason at all.

Anyway, the real Oral Roberts is dead and the guys at Terrace Agenda dug up this hilarious clip of Oral laying down some sexual knowledge. Absolutely classic stuff. It's amazing how he can find new ways to pronounce "orifices" and "anus" but can't quite bring himself to say "penis."

I feel like while I'm on the topic of evangelical Christians I should mention the jackass sitting next to me at the coffee shop tonight. I was trying to get some grading done but it was nearly impossible because I had to keep listening to what this dude was saying.

They appeared to be a typical hipster couple you'd expect to be sitting in Henry's talking about literature or whatever but it didn't take long to figure out that the guy was kind of a moron. He was discussing his writing class and how this one guy kept writing about this mundane things and he couldn't stand it but "the professor kept saying how good this guy was at taking mundane things and making them interesting and important. I don't know, that's just not for me. For me the point of being a writer is to make things interesting." Uhh, I have no idea what that means.

When the talk turned to movies he told this girl about the "totally awesome" movie trailer he saw that day where apparently Denzel Washington is in possession of the last Bible on Earth and everyone is trying to get it and he has to defend it with a sword. I know nothing about this other than that's basically the description he gave but, seriously? Is that real?

Then they started talking about how they're both into being Christians and the talk turns to volunteering for something and how this guy wants to go into "Teach for America." So, for some reason I feel like Teach for America is kind of bullshit because these people don't actually have teaching degrees yet they're sent off to failing schools as if sending people with less training is somehow a good idea. And if these people are so into teaching inner-city kids why don't they just get a real teaching certificate and go get a job there instead of dropping in for a year and slapping it up on their resume?

So, the girl brings up AmeriCorps and the guy says, "oh, I could never do that?"
"Why?"
"Well, they aren't selective at all. I mean, you don't even need a college degree to do that."
"Yeah, but you're still helping people."
"But, I mean, I just think Teach for America would look a lot better on my resume for grad school. Plus they don't really pay you at all. I mean, why should I have to be destitute to do that?"
"Well, I think part of that is to understand the way that the people you're helping are living."
"But, why should I have to be poor to do that? I mean, I knew one guy that did it and he qualified for food stamps. I mean, you're really poor."
Then the conversation turned into how he didn't think it was selfish to only want to do this in an "awesome place like Seattle."
The girl said, "well, you have to go where the people are."
"Yeah, but, I mean, help is needed everywhere."

Alright, so, you're a Christian and your main goals in helping people are to go somewhere cool where they pay you a lot and it looks good on your resume. Awesome. This type of stuff went on and on and it took a lot of strength not to turn to the guy and tell him that I hope he failed at everything as I left.

I heard Sidney's Hairdressing College has a great class coming in

2009-12-15T16:23:00.002-06:00

I love the "Steam Room." Too perfect.

On the plus side maybe ISU would actually make the tournament again.

Saints win, Rednecks rejoice

2009-12-10T20:38:00.003-06:00

Supposedly this guy made a bet that if the Saints lost to Washington his buddies could shoot his TV. I was skeptical that anyone would be dumb enough to make that bet but after watching the video...eh, I could see it. Whodat!

Football thoughts

2009-12-06T02:31:00.002-06:00

I have to say I really enjoyed Alabama dominating Florida. I had a feeling Bama would win but I didn't see an offensive explosion like that. It's nice that there's only one more game of the Tebow lovefest. I mean, come on, the Bible verses on the eye patches and heading off to third world countries to convert and circumsize the heathens? Give me a break. I was amazed by the statistic they showed that as a starter he is now 2-6 in games that Florida trailed in the 2nd half. After hearing references to all of the comeback wins that Horseface Elway had I guess I figured people might point out that Tebow can't lead his team from behind. Seriously, 2-6? Complete frontrunner.

Speaking of 4th quarter comeback drives I had to laugh about Mack Brown giving tons of credit to Colt McCoy for their winning drive. OK, they started off on the 40 because Nebraska kicked it out of bounds. Then he throws a short pass that the receiver turns into a big gain and Nebraska gets a 15 yard horse collar penalty. McCoy is then sacked twice and almost blows the game by strolling to the line and rolling out before decided to toss the ball 20 yards out of bounds where they need replay to determine they actually have a second left to try a field goal. The stuff of legends indeed. Plus, every time they showed him it looked like he was about to puke so I'm sure that was really inspiring for his teammates.

That had to be one of the ugliest championship games I've ever seen. It seemed like UT's entire offense was to run fly patterns down the sideline and have McCoy throw it a yard out of bounds and NU's was basically to wait for him to throw a pick then just kick a field goal. Not exactly a banner year for the Big 12.

I was rooting for Texas just because fuck Nebraska but it would have been awesome to see them try to hype an Alabama-TCU national title game. Cincy wasn't really that impressive today but still a nice comeback and most of it due to their kick returner who had a hell of a day. Cincy's coach seems like kind of a dick. Mangino replacement?

That 2 point conversion that Fresno State had to beat Illinois has to be one of the most ridiculous plays I've ever seen. What's really amazing to me is that the lineman wasn't even past the line of scrimmage and still managed to catch the ball off the deflection and run it in.

Results of the "Write Like Sarah Palin" contest

2009-12-05T21:04:00.002-06:00

I thought these selections from Slate's contest were pretty funny.

I particularly enjoyed these:
"Here's a little news flash for your Department of Media: Superman's parents chose life and he was adopted in small-town USA by real Americans who run our factories, harvest our meat-bearing animals, and wave Old Glory down at the courthouse and the churches, not in Washington D.C. by cynical power-brokers and liberal scientists."

"Reaching the peak of Igikpak, that majestic mount, feeling the smooth Alaskan wind rustle against my cheeks, watching over this vast yet tender land that epitomized so much of America's resplendent pulchritude, and slowly squeezing the trigger on the wolf cub I'd been tracking through my crosshairs, I suddenly felt in my heart something I had always known to be true: the capital-gains tax must be eliminated."

"In the soft periwinkle glow of the proud Alaskan morning, I awoke from my sweet slumber and sauntered over to the window to gaze longingly at that mysterious, mystical land in the distance that is Russia."

Awesome correction

2009-12-04T16:36:00.001-06:00

Saw this on Deadspin.
From the Washington Post:

A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number.

Tiger Tiger Woods Ya'll

2009-12-01T16:59:00.003-06:00

I finally found some Tiger Woods coverage that I could stand. At least stick around until the scene at 0:58. Hilarious.
Besides the fact that everyone loves a good sex scandal I think the media is really digging this because Woods has basically been a robot his entire career. I mean, this is basically a regular weeknight for John Daly, right? The fact that something this bizarre would be happening with Tiger is really throwing people for a loop. Now ESPN is now going to TMZ for sources and the cops keep showing up to ask him questions about what is basically a minor 1 car accident. Bizarro world.

Classic Greinke

2009-11-18T13:02:00.002-06:00

From the KC Star:
So, have you thought much about the Cy Young since the season ended?
"Not really. I’ve been playing this ‘World of Warcraft’ game."

Pretty slow sports day

2009-11-17T23:54:00.003-06:00

Let's recap what happened in this area today.

Zack Greinke won the Cy Young award with all but 3 first place votes. Clearly a well-deserved award for one of the best seasons in the last decade. I'm proud to say I got to see him pitch 2 of his worst games all year.

Dwayne Bowe was suspended four games for performance enhancing drugs which was apparently a diuretic he took during training camp in order to lose weight. During camp the media made a big deal about how the Chiefs had lost a combined 700 pounds or something ridiculous like that. Uhh, hope the rest of that was legal. Of course losing Bowe for four games won't matter much because apparently we'd rather go to Lance Long more often.

Larry Johnson, recently cut by the Chiefs, signed with the Bengals today who happen to play KC in December. Larry went to Twitter to describe how he wanted to destroy KC then. Alright, but it might take a little more than the 2.7 yards per carry you've got so far this season.

Mark Mangino may be fired within the week? Apparently some players are in an open mutiny that has led to closed door meetings between the AD and players and the AD and coach. The rumor mill is flying and I've heard he did everyone from choke a guy to poking someone in the chest. I think rumors that he ate Toben Opurum are false even if that might explain why he never sees the field when he's clearly the best back they have. Hell of a football season for KU. I remember before the ISU game I predicted that they'd probably beat the Cyclones but I could see them finishing the year at 5-7. Everyone laughed at me but, well, they almost lost that game and are 5-5 right now with games against Texas and Mizzou left. I had a friend back in college who predicted the Vikings would blow out the Chiefs when they played in '03 and the Chiefs were pretty good. KC was like 12-2 at the time and I thought he was crazy but then it happened. He said something like, "I don't just predict these things for no reason" in the most condescending way. It really pissed me off at the time.

So, yeah, Mangino. The LJWorld says it's because he has a history of berating people like the student employee who ticketed him for parking in a loading zone for the 23rd time (insert Mangino is so big he deserves his own loading zone joke). My favorite Mangino temper story is the time he got tossed from his son's high school football game for going after the refs. This dude really does have anger control issues. Jason Whitlock says it's because he's fat.

KU basketball almost crapped the bed against Memphis. On Friday they blasted a Hofstra team that hung with UConn today but their offense was absolutely brutal tonight. Way too many turnovers and missed shots. Collins went out with cramps a few times leaving Reed to run the point which seemed like an adventure. After the game Bill Self didn't seem too pissed and acted like maybe this was a good thing for the team. They've still got a boatload of talent but they've got a ways to go before people start thinking undefeated seasons.

They busted a cockfighting ring in rural Douglas County today. Really? There are cockfights around here? I had no idea.

So, yeah, not much going on here. In non-area news Lucca Staiger set the Iowa State single-game record formerly held by Dedric Willoughby by hitting 10 of 16 threes against Drake tonight in a 20 point win. I've got to admit that I haven't seen them play yet but I'm cautiously optimistic that they might have an NCAA tourney team here.

File this under "Who Could Have Predicted?"

2009-11-11T17:23:00.001-06:00

18-49 year-olds don't want to watch Leno's crappy primetime show. My faith in humanity is somewhat restored.

Do you mind if all I do is post links?

2009-11-04T23:14:00.002-06:00

A friend sent along this tragic news from just up the road from me. Apparently someone was horribly maimed and it wasn't Glenn Beck. Dammit. WHY?!?! If I had to pick my favorite part has to be the guy calling him a "fat, dumb Mormon fuckface" but the signs are pretty classic too. Oh, Glenn Beck.

Turns out the guy that had Timmy Floyd's back in the casino rumble was former coach and Mike Bibby's dad Henry Bibby. Awesome.

Damn, I really did have one more thing to post but I can't find it...

Good to see Tim Floyd is staying busy

2009-11-03T20:40:00.003-06:00

Check out this video of former Idaho, New Orleans, Iowa State, Chicago Bulls, New Orleans Hornets, and USC (did I miss anybody?) basketball coach getting into the middle of a fight at some casino in California. Apparently he's enjoying his time off from coaching. Living off the money he buried in his back yard? Unless Eustachy got to it first...

It kind of looks like he's auditioning for the job of the bald bouncer on the Springer Show. It's a classic "I'll let the fight go on for a while then saunter over just when things about to get really out of control" move. I'm pretty sure the women are auditioning for a role on the show too. Vegas has the odds at 2-1 this was a fight that somehow involved a baby daddy.

I also love that crazy chick who tries to go WWE on him with the chair while the other guy just holds it over her head. She's persistent.

What season is it?

2009-10-30T19:27:00.001-05:00

It's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers!
My mom loves some decorative gourds in the fall so I imagine her thought process is something like this. Probably more swearing though.

Some reading

2009-10-28T18:06:00.002-05:00

A couple of things I found interesting today:

A long, but very informative and persuasive story in WIRED on how parents that choose not to vaccinate their children based on pseudoscience put us all at risk. It's nice to see somebody take an unequivocal stand against the type of BS the anti-vaccine crowd likes to spread. Not surprisingly the author is receiving death threats.

The World Cup will be played in South Africa next year. Not surprisingly this will line the pockets of a few while the poor suffer. One of the sites has been particularly plagued by corruption and the stadium is in sight of a slum with no running water or electricity. The local officials took over the area school for their offices forcing the children to learn in a storage containers with no AC. Glad we have our priorities straight.

Why do I feel like this guy wants my gravel?

Finally, go Phillies.

weekend update

2009-10-25T21:51:00.003-05:00

I spent the weekend in my hometown hanging out with family and future family which was a good time. It was actually kind of odd to be home because even though it's only been a few months since I was there a lot has changed. They're expanding the highway that we used to get pretty much everywhere from my house (thank you, Obama money!) which will be cool. The weird part comes when you drive down a highway and they bulldozed every house or tree that used to serve as a landmark. Oh yeah, and most of the side roads are closed so you'll have to drive 5 miles out of your way to get home. Progress!

Then once I actually get home they cut down the row of trees on one side of our road in order to move all of the power lines over to that side, and all of the pine trees in our old apple orchard are dead, and we have a new fence, and a remodeled bathroom. To quote Biggie, things done changed.

Much of the talk amongst the family revolved around my sister's wedding planning which is completely understandable if not slightly mind-numbing for me. It all sounds great and they're going to do a great job with it but it seems like kind of a shame that I probably won't even notice the subtle effects that shade of green has on the cream in those centerpieces. Hopefully someone else will.

Outside of the family time the highlight of the weekend had to be Iowa State beating Nebraska in Lincoln for the first time since the late 70's. ISU was without their #1 QB and their #1 running back (one of the best in the conference) but still found a way to win. On yeah, that way was Nebraska turning it over 8 freaking times. What makes it even more hilarious was that 4 of those turnovers were inside ISU's 5 yardline. Apparently the goal line is kryptonite to the Husker offense. After watching ISU miss a potential tying PAT and overthrow a wide open receiver on a potential game-winning touchdown I don't think they need to apologize for catching a few breaks.

I really enjoyed this video of the team after the game. In fact, I may have even enjoyed it more than the shots of stunned Husker fans looking like their grandma just died. The locker room scene at the end is great and Rhoads seems like he's really connected with the team and fans in a way that Cheesedick never did.

Physics

2009-10-16T12:38:00.002-05:00

Could the future be sabotaging the Large Hadron collider? Kind of an amusing read.

More than a year after an explosion of sparks, soot and frigid helium shut it down, the world’s biggest and most expensive physics experiment, known as the Large Hadron Collider, is poised to start up again. In December, if all goes well, protons will start smashing together in an underground racetrack outside Geneva in a search for forces and particles that reigned during the first trillionth of a second of the Big Bang.
...
A pair of otherwise distinguished physicists have suggested that the hypothesized Higgs boson, which physicists hope to produce with the collider, might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather.

Best game ever?

2009-10-16T11:07:00.002-05:00

Via Sadly, No! (from a variety of other blogs) comes this completely awesome online game for the Glenn Beck set. Apparently it's some sort of MMP role-playing game where Obama has suspended the Constitution in 2011 and it's up to you, the irrational wingnut, to save the United States by starting a "Second American Revolution."

Chaos ensues throughout the nation! The Second American Revolution is in full swing by February of 2011, with lists posted by patriots, county by county, naming dozens of government employees and the bounties that can be fetched by their capture. After 7 weeks of fighting in every state, and with the refusal of most United States military branches to obey orders to fire upon American citizens, Obama’s forces are slowly whittled away. The remnants of the Obama loyalists retreat to Virginia. After tens of thousands of their troops are killed, The International Service Union Empire (I.S.U.E.) has just 40,000 left, but still controls three full counties in the name of former President Barack Hussein Obama… Or so they think. The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth (C.O.R.N.Y.) controls three counties near Washington D.C., with reports of having at least 60,000 loyalists for Obama.

This stuff is pretty normal, right? Just your run-of-the-mill revolution fantasy. Not surprisingly in this conservative sedition porn their loser icons get to lead the troops into battle.

Former V.P. Joe Biden Captured Outside Arlington

March 4, 2011 – Former Vice President Biden was captured today after an incredible firefight in Arlington, Virginia. Biden’s Ameri-Troops and Islamic Warrior Guard were gunned down by the Virginia Citizens Militia and elements from T.A.M. (Texas Arizona Militia) with Sean Hannity, the former FOX broadcaster, leading the way.

Diversity Czar Mark Lloyd (The Man Of the Ban) Captured

March 6, 2011 – Mark Lloyd, the Marxist who was put in charge of the FCC by Barack Obama was captured today by the MRC Militias run by L. Brent Bozell.

Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart Prevail

March 11, 2011 – Since before the Revolution, it was Andrew Breitbart, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly who led the way against the Marxists in I.S.U.E. and C.O.R.N.Y. Now in the final weeks of the Second American Revolution, Michelle Malkin has announced her candidacy for the Senate in the elections that are to take place 60 days after Obama is captured. Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against Obama’s minions and just last night he was instrumental in the defeat of Hamas and the Ameritroops in King George County.

Yeah, I'd love to see General Hannity inspiring the troops.

So, this doesn't really seem like something that would be up my alley, right? Well, of course not, but anything that keeps these morons tied up in front of their computers and not actually going on mass shootings or something because Obama is about to personally "take their guns away" is fine by me. You should check out the site or read Sadly, No's take.

Awesome

2009-10-11T17:01:00.000-05:00

So, this was probably not a good idea.

A 21-year-old man was arrested early Sunday morning after stealing an ambulance that had been parked on Massachusetts Street.

Lawrence Police Sgt. Susan Hadl said the Lawrence-Douglas County Fire and Medical crews had parked the ambulance near the intersection of 10th and Massachusetts streets while they responded to a medical emergency in the area.

While the crews were away from the vehicle, an intoxicated man got into the ambulance and began driving away, heading westbound on 10th Street. The man, whom Hadl said believed he had no other means of transportation home, led police on a brief low-speed chase.

The chase began about 2:22 a.m. and ended a few minutes later at the intersection of 10th and Tennessee streets. Numerous police cars surrounded the vehicle and the man was taken into custody without incident.

The man was arrested on charges of theft of the ambulance as well as driving under the influence.

ooh...space snub!

2009-10-09T14:56:00.002-05:00

Today NASA crashed a satellite into the moon in order to determine if there actually is ice somewhere down there. The results was....pretty much inconclusive at this point. It did, however, disappoint several losers in lawn chairs who thought they were going to be able to see, I don't know, the moon blow up or something.

While they may or may not have achieved their primary goals if one of their secondary goals was to make some junior staffer look foolish them mission accomplished, boys. Check out this video released by NASA. A lot of it pretty boring chatter and moon approach shots and upon actual impact it just goes black but if you go to about 4:50 and watch the guy in the foreground you'll see what I'm talking about.

Hahahaha.

"Alright, the boss is finally coming over to congratulate me on making this mission a success with all of my hard work. High five! ... ... High five?"
"What the hell are you doing, get those headphones back on."
"Uh, yes, sir."

Conversation I overheard last night

2009-09-28T10:53:00.002-05:00

Hipster Girl: "I fucking hate M. Night Shyamalan. He's the worst director ever. Really. The worst ever."
Hipster Guy: "Yeah, he sucks."
Girl: "Well, I guess I kind of liked 'Signs'. It was pretty good."
Guy: "Yeah, it wasn't bad. Have you ever seen 'Unbreakable'?"
Girl: "No, I heard it was good."
Guy: "Yeah, it was. I think it's definitely his best movie."

Uhh, yeah, sounds like you guys really hate him.

The most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in college sports

2009-09-23T19:04:00.002-05:00

In the past I've written about how, once you start attending a large university, it doesn't take long for any view of the college athlete as role model to melt away. My guess is that to compete at that level you have to focus on your sport to such a point that it's a detriment to the development of any sort of social skills for a lot of these guys. I don't want to paint all of them with that brush but I think it's tough to grow up in an environment where you're idolized and coddled from such a young age without being somewhat affected by it. It reached the point where nothing I heard about an athlete would legitimately shock me in any way but what happened in the last 24 hours is something pretty astounding.

It started last night when news broke that a skirmish/brawl (depending on who's telling the story) in front of around 100 people had erupted outside of Burge Union on the KU campus. Police were dispatched and Tyshawn Taylor, a sophomore basketball player, went to the hospital to treat his hand.

Tyshawn must have been in a helpful mood because he pretty much laid out the whole thing leading up to and after the fight. From the KC Star (because I like how they replace the n-word with "racial slur":

Taylor reported the result of the incident on his Facebook page. “I got a dislocated finger ... from throwing a punch ... so don’t let the news paper gas yall up aite,” Taylor wrote.

Minutes earlier, around midnight, he wrote: “real (racial slur)s do real things .. point plankn.”

His earlier posts indicate there may have been escalating tension.

“keep my name out ya’ mouth for you get smacked in it,” he wrote at 11:12 a.m. Tuesday, and 30 minutes later he posted, “never get outta character .. I’m always a G about it.”

About 4 p.m., Taylor posted, “(racial slur)s be muggin me ..you know I’m mugging back.”

Yeah, so, pretty clearly he was looking for some trouble.

Then late last night another story broke that there may have been an incident brewing in front of the residence of several of the players but details have been pretty sketchy about that. Apparently it went over the police scanner but was broken up before any press arrived.

Obviously, this was all pretty big news today so the AD Lew Perkins releases a statement saying things are under control and they're investigating, etc. Not half an hour later ANOTHER fight erupts just outside of the Underground food court in Wescore Hall, one of the most highly trafficked areas on campus. From the Daily Kansan:

The fight broke out among football and basketball players this morning after one of the Morris twins pushed a football player down stairs behind Budig Hall. According to one KU senior who witnessed the initial outbreak of the brawl, players from both teams began throwing punches and shouting racial slurs at each other at 9:48 a.m.

Basketball players congregate outside of the Wescoe Underground on Wednesday at about 10 a.m. Brett Ballard, wearing a red shirt and black jacket, is the director of basketball operations and former backup point guard for the Jayhawks for two seasons.
Wescoe Hall altercation

Among them were the Morris twins, Mario Little, Sherron Collins, Tyshawn Taylor, Brady Morningstar, Travis Releford, Tyrel Reed, Thomas Robinson, Elijah Johnson and many other players. The only football players identified in the group were Dezmon Briscoe and Chris Harris, whom police from the KU Police Department were questioning.

The KU senior said she heard a football player yell, "What did you say?" at 9:48 a.m. and run up a set of stairs behind Budig Hall. She said she saw one of the Morris twins throw the football player down the stairs. She said the football player fell backwards down six stairs before being caught by a fellow football player. She said immediately after, several pairs of football and basketball players began fighting.

The reporter said he heard one of the Morris twins tell the police later, "One of them just jumped out and threw his hands on me," referring to the football players who were involved in the fight.

Another source, who did not want to be identified, confirmed this information. This source described seeing football players running toward the scene from Sunnyside Avenue. They joined in the scuffle, which Skevington said continued for a few minutes.

At this point the police showed up with various coaches and athletic department officials fast on their heels. I can only imagine what was said as soon as they heard the news. From that link above you can find some entertaining photos of the aftermath. Mostly the basketball players standing around and being loaded into a van with a lot of pissed off athletic department personnel.

I'm generally holed up in my lab with no access to any sort of gossip whatsoever but once something like this happens everyone's an expert, I guess. Apparently this has been building for quite a while and the recent events involve some girl that is/has dated somebody from each team. Who knows what's true and what's not but she must be the Jayhawk version of Helen of Troy or something.

So, yeah, who knows if they will be brawling in the streets again or if I'll step outside my building and into the middle of a full-scale riot with every participant wearing the blue sweatpants they wear every day. There's part of me that wants to see it escalate even more but, really, it's pretty freaking embarrassing for the university and for both of the teams. If things have gotten to this point the athletic department has some pretty tough choices to make if they want to get it under control. Is it worth it to kick potential All-Americans like Sherron Collins or Dez Briscoe, two guys prominently named in the stories, off your #1 ranked basketball team or top 20 football team? Suspend most of your basketball team? Half your football team? Just let it go? Good luck with this one, Lew.

Obama why?

2009-09-22T14:09:00.001-05:00

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

Never Forget

2009-09-19T09:45:00.000-05:00

I'mma let you finish

2009-09-18T13:55:00.002-05:00

I can't help it, I'm a big fan of the Kanye parodies. (via my friend Nkem's Facebook page)

Andy Richter Controls the Jeopardy Universe

2009-09-17T23:35:00.002-05:00

Andy Richter completely destroyed CNN's Wolf Blitzer in Celebrity Jeopardy today. Going into Final Jeopardy Wolf was at negative $4600 and Andy was over $30,000. It's hilarious watching Wolf ring in again and again only to find the wrong answer while Andy keeps racking up the dollars. You could have done better if you just never pressed your button at all! He looks so pissed off too.

My favorite part is the condescension in Alex Trebek's words at the end as he explains that on Celebrity Jeopardy they let EVERYONE play Final Jeopardy no matter how much of a moron they might be. "Well, Wolf, it didn't work out like you hoped it would. Andy just so much faster on the signaling button today." Uh, yeah, that was it.

More sounds

2009-09-17T16:39:00.002-05:00

Despite the fact that huge portions of my life are taken up by science and football I've still managed to find time to hit up some really good shows around town.

Last Friday I went to see Crocodiles at Jackpot. I had heard this song but hadn't heard any of their other stuff until I checked out their MySpace page. They get some shit for ripping off Jesus and Mary Chain but other than Pitchfork shitting all over them (it's kind of hard to figure out Pitchfork reviews because you have to take into account whether they're in the process of really hyping up a band or in the process of tearing the same band down or just reacting to the hype from someone else by taking a contrary view and bitching about the hype that band got. I think it's answer C in this case...) they got pretty good reviews. The show was great so I don't think I have to worry about it.

Last night John and I decided to go see the Antlers at the last minutes which was easily the best decision we made all day. The second band, Thieves, had one of the most elaborate (and actually somewhat entertaining) sound checks ever. They kind of lost me when they went "backstage" (read: into the alley) after that so they could walk in 2 minutes later. OK, you're an opening band at the Jackpot and we just watched you sound check for 10 minutes. Let's go, already.

That said, they had the most impressive stage show from a local band I've seen. Lots of lights set up with their music, great sound equipment they brought, etc. They were kind of like a noisier version of Radiohead and their last song was one of the best of the night.

The Antlers' latest album is probably one of the saddest and best albums of the year. Anytime you call your album "Hospice" I guess you know what you're getting into and a lot of it deals with death, illness, cancer, etc. with a lot of it apparently based on his own recent experiences with a loved one. "Two" might be one of my favorites I've heard. Anyway, I would say if you're into the indie scene this might be one you should check out.

Speaking of the indie scene it wouldn't be a show in Lawrence without some sort of comment on the crowd. There wasn't anything terribly noteworthy except the disproportionate number of really attractive indie girls there (the Antlers must be huge in that set) and this group of guys that went up to the very front of the stage the second the last opener was done. Everyone is kind of making their way back to the bar and these guys are shoving their way up there so they can be two feet from the guitarist while they sing every word and applaud every time they recognize a song. We get it, you're waaay more into this band than all of the rest of the posers here.

Finally, I'll give some love to one of my favorite local bands, Ghosty. You can hear their new EP here. Really laid back but some good stuff there, I think.

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

2009-09-09T23:21:00.005-05:00

"Well, you've got to understand: They're Republicans. They're just doing what comes natural."
Michigan Rep. John Dingell

Republicans have done a fine job embarrassing themselves over the past week between the "uproar" over the school speech and the elected representatives tonight. I chose to watch the World Cup qualifier between the US and Trinidad and Tobago (highlights included steel drum renditions of the national anthems to open the match and the US pulling out another ugly win...although there's something to be said about playing Trinidad AND Tobago at the same time, right?) instead of the live speech from President Obama but I've read about it and seen some highlights. A lot of the reaction has focused on South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson who yelled out "you lie" in the middle of the speech (not surprisingly during the very part of the speech when Obama was correcting lies told by the right). Other Republicans brought props such as stacks of paper (huh?) and signs that said "what bill?" Uhh...sick burn? I think it says a lot that these are literally (and not the type of literally that actually means figuratively) issues of life and death for many people and their level of discourse could be compared to that of a three year-old throwing a tantrum.

Even when the relationship between Bush and the Democrats was at their worst can you imagine them cat-calling from the floor of Congress or waving signs like it's a damn campaign event? Seriously, what's with these assholes? Eight years of scolding about how "liberals need to respect the office" and now the rules suddenly don't apply anymore.

It's kind of funny that before the speech many Obama supporters seemed pretty disillusioned with what he and other Democrats were willing to give up in order to get a bill passed while now everyone seems to be pretty fired up for the final push. I think most of that comes from being glad that he showed some passion for this but a lot of it is in response to their completely disrespectful behavior from the Republicans. Either way I'm hopeful that this speech stemmed the tide and can give this thing a nudge back in the right direction.